Something Wonderful: "All other lovers being estranged or dead"

Amazing how silence says so much.

Of course it all in the observer’s interpretation as to what is being said, but that what makes this so powerful. We get to fill in the “conversation” with our own life experiences.

Simply wonderful, Gerard, thanks for sharing. Truly the reason I keep coming back here…year after year.

Posted by tim at July 2, 2015 9:33 AM

No, I'm not. I got something in my eye is all.

Posted by Clinton Nichols at July 2, 2015 11:08 AM

I said to the screen: "Get up and kiss him!"

When she opened her eyes for the next "stranger" she was disappointed Ulay wasn't there. That's what I saw in her eyes, at least.

Posted by Marie at July 2, 2015 2:05 PM

They never really go away, do they?


"And you're not sorry I came?"
"No, I'm glad, I'll be less lonely now.

Real loneliness is not being in love in vain, but not being in love a t'all."

-Tommy, Fiona, (Brigadoon)

www . youtube . com/watch?v=y6yq8JBRakI#t=2m56s

Posted by cond0011 at July 2, 2015 5:27 PM

Parting is easier than living and growing, fighting and changing--- together. They are sad and sentimental and beautiful.. but they'll never know what building a life together may have wrought.

A beautiful regret is the Muse of poets.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 3, 2015 5:22 AM

Thinking it over, Ulay is a dick. A boundary-crashing asshole. He sits there, smug in the knowledge that he's still in her head, her heart. It's HER moment of sitting quietly with strangers, her performance-- and he crashes it. She reaches out to him, not he to her. She reasserts her reason for being there and lets him go after 60 seconds.

She was wise to release him to himself again.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 4, 2015 4:15 PM

Thanks for sharing this.

Posted by EndOfPatience at July 5, 2015 5:45 PM

"Ulay is a dick. A 'Boundary-Crashing' @sshole", Joan?

Uh... Joan?


That word: I don't think means what you think it means. ;)

Ulay went to her exhibit - bus/car/train/plane - waited his turn and then LEFT at the appropriate time.

This Ulay was not crashing Marina's wedding. Nor was he going to a private family function:

It was a performance art exhibition open to her spectators. Ulay was merely another 'stranger' that added to her exhibit as the spectators were actually PART OF THE EXHIBIT.

Ulay actually ENHANCED her exhibit.

Further , if you look deeper into their relationship, you'll find the relationship was not the clique 'Bad-boy-user/good-girl-heartbroken-enabler' either.

Here's a ballpark view from 'wiki':

en . wikipedia . org/wiki/Marina_Abramović


One more thing about 'Boundary-Crashing', Joan:

Building relationships is not an assembly line process of step 1, step 2, step 3 and poof! instant relationship.

You should be glad that your life is FULL ENOUGH that you can have the self righteousness of projecting the 'Boundary-Crashing' upon people who may just be trying to add a little extra to someone else's life.

...and being that you seem to have enough self-satisfaction that you have forgotten the need to reach out (and have others reach out to you - you know... 'Boundary-Crashing') I'd like to remind you that in your own little world, there are people out there who would ACTUALLY LIKE a bit more of their 'Boundaries' Crashed of the like that Ulay had done.

Like ... the forgotten elderly, one parent children, widows, children who have lost their parents, the homeless, etc... you get the idea...

Here... try these one for size:
www .

Posted by cond0011 at July 8, 2015 6:43 AM

Ulay is a dick.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 8, 2015 3:31 PM

You're welcome, Joan. ;)

Posted by cond0011 at July 8, 2015 4:02 PM

Sorry for the duplication. It's performance art.

Here's where Marina realizes Ulay is a dick:

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 8, 2015 4:02 PM

(Excerpt you must be referring to being that its the only mention of Ulay in the article)

"""Not long after you and your lover and collaborator, Ulay, broke up in 1988, you got a breast enlargement, which some found to be anathema to the feminist tradition of performance art.

I don’t care. You know, I was 40 years old. I heard that Ulay made pregnant his 25-year-old translator. I was desperate. I felt fat, ugly and unwanted, and this made a huge difference in my life. Why not use technology if you can, if it can build your spirit? And I’m not feminist, by the way. I am just an artist."""

Yep... that was a 'Dick' move Joan. Would certainly end any deep 'normal' relationship as far as I am concerned.


If THAT is all you can come up with to label him a 'Dick' and a 'Boundary-Crasher', I must say the evidence is a bit thin.


Here's something from Ulay that is OUTSIDE the 'affair' issue you mentioned:

"""Ulay and Abramović split up in part because she was moving ahead of him as an artist, something he reflects on rather bitterly in the documentary, saying caustically that she became "very ambitious" after they separated. """

Here's Marina with ANOTHER angle - but this time, on herself:

"Is she in a relationship at the moment?

"No. Of course, I dream to have this perfect man, who does not want to change me. And I'm so not marriage material, it's terrible. But my dream is to have those Sunday mornings, where you're eating breakfast and reading newspapers with somebody. I'm so old fashioned in real life, and I'm so not old fashioned in art. But I believe in true love, so perhaps it will happen. Right now, no, I have no space. But life has been good to me. Lots of pain. But it's OK."""

Again... very vague and not very illuminating (but it does shed a different light than what you came up with in regards to him being a 'dick')

Also... they were very rowdy with each other in their performance art:

" In her piece The Lips of Thomas (1975), she carved a five-pointed communist star into her own abdomen, a monstrously sly up yours to the regime and appropriation of brutality for her own purposes. In other gallery settings, she and Ulay slammed into each other, shrieked in each other's faces, or sat staring at each other for interminable lengths of time to test, and conquer, the boundaries of what is endurable. It was thrilling, shocking, above all, moral and sailing always in the face of accusations of meaninglessness. The great danger with this sort of art, of course, is that pain is mistaken for meaning."

Sounds like 2 artists who reaaaally tested boundaries of civil behavior with each other - especially when in a relationship together.


Perhaps YOUR animosity towards Ulay can be summed up by this excerpt by Marina Abramović?

"""As the thing took off, celebrities started to drift in to sit opposite her, including, inevitably, James Franco – and then Ulay came. Abramović broke protocol and reached out to grasp his hands across the table. Everyone cheered. "I absolutely didn't expect he'd come to sit. The moment he sat – and everyone got very sentimental about it, BECAUSE THEY WERE PROJECTING THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIPS ON TO US – but it was so incredibly difficult. It was the only time I broke the rules."""

Thus, Ulay ENHANCED her performance art.

(www .

Sorry, the 'Boundary Crashing' is obviously waaay over exaggerated (as mentioned above) and the evidence is quite thin that he is a 'dick' - by its definition (need more than ONE example)

Posted by cond0011 at July 8, 2015 5:35 PM

Good gosh, go marry him yourself! LOL!!

Please, she's as much as mess as he is a narcissist. "Boundary-crasher" is your trigger? Sweet mercy. Civilized people who have lived their lives together and decide to quit have a tacit boundary of courtesy and decency. Celebrate its violation if you must. But both of them are such attention whores that I suppose you're right to defend against the charge. They're just bright drops in the giant pool of relationship performances. She was nonetheless angry to find that their whole relationship was his art project and bitter to find that he, like any human male, still got his rocks off with a younger woman. So pedestrian. So foregone a conclusion.

Yes, celebrate this moment.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 9, 2015 3:41 PM

"Good gosh, go marry him yourself! LOL!!"
"Boundary-crasher" is your trigger? Sweet mercy. "

Awww.... settle down, Joan.


Its only constructive criticism I am giving you as your understanding of "Boundary Crashing" is quite poor (note criticism above).

No worries about your word 'Boundary Crashing', either btw... I'm pretty certain you'll remember them when you yourself when not so self righteous and not so self satisfied.

You know ... elderly.... healthcare facility... and hoping for visitors.

Any visitors.


Posted by cond0011 at July 10, 2015 10:08 AM

I'm still unsure why you think a criticism of something you see differently makes you think that I'm self-satisfied and imperious and headed for a life of loneliness. It's impossible to answer such goofiness.

Any captured moment is open to interpretation. That's the nature of art. What happened is that he revealed to the world that relationships are not art projects. Her tears are human, my thoughts about them are also human. No, I cannot hold this up as something beautiful. Even in my first comment "beautiful regret" there is a bitter and unlovely truth I alluded to. No regret is beautiful except a poet make it seem so. It is a lie against Truth and eternity to hold up a false mirror to pain.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 12, 2015 4:44 AM

It's hard to believe this wasn't coordinated in advance, seeing as they wore matching colors.

Posted by CM at July 13, 2015 3:14 PM

I've a gut instinct that "performance art" isn't art at all but a (usually) sordid display of "...pain mistaken (as) meaning". Life only seems dull and uninteresting to the dull and uninterested.

The back and forth between Joan and Cond, however, is more interesting than the actual performance. Having learned more than I ever wanted to know about the lovely couple I was left wanting to say to our two interpreters, Hey! Why don't you two just get a room!

And, like CM it occurred to me it was all staged.

And, as to the sounds of silence (Tim); it isn't silence at all. It is shocking assault reflecting the current decaying rot that passes for public discourse. These assholes are mainlining the "blue" pill.

Posted by John Hinds at July 14, 2015 5:45 AM

When I was young and pretty a gorgeous woman, with whom I was smitten, dumped me for an ugly guy who, unbeknownst to me, also shared her bed when she wasn't in mine.

The sex was incredible and we could go at it for hours. I missed that when she was gone.

Posted by Jack at July 14, 2015 8:26 AM


I wonder if they grasp what Art is. Certainly its not self-loathing. Art is a question put to being itself. The first question. It doesn't expect an answer, is blind to an answer. That is the purview of Religion which is the first fractalisation of Art as a modality of sentient life. Religion acknowledges Art's question and claims possession of the answer which it posits in an absolute other. This parsing of the truth from the whole of being is failure. But I digress.

What gets my attention is the assertion that performance art mistakes pain for meaning. I'm thinking if it mistakes pain for meaning then it is a form of self-loathing, which expresses some deep seated guilt, which is an off-shoot of fear. Well, fear is a mode of idea which in turn is a mode of thought. Thought is a mode of consciousness, which is a mode of being. And, Being Is, or, The Real Is.

The self-loathing subjects are far from - many stages deep - into the descending levels of these modalities of The Real. They Own - are bound up in Having - not in Being. You can see it in their decidedly care worn faces.

Yes, even a pile of excrement might in a certain light have a bit of shine to it. But that doesn't make it beautiful. It just makes it a participant of beauty of the very lowest order.

It used to be that the cream rose to the top. Nowadays its the opposite and the piece in question puts that on full display. A shiny thing gets your attention but if it has to give you a jolting shock to do so then its no more than the shine on the excreta.

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