THE Hot Crazy Matrix - A Man's Guide to Women

I am struck by all the unfinished rifle pieces on the floor.
You gotta have all the parts assembled before it counts.

Posted by ed in texas at July 29, 2014 5:02 AM

Those AR lowers are spares.

Anyway, it'd look somewhat like my office if it had a few more weapons - all that wall space going to waste - and the ammo is woefully under stocked.

The flag is upside down.

And that TV needs to be catapalted over the fence - mindless pussification.

What, no dogs? How can this be?

Posted by ghostsniper at July 29, 2014 6:21 AM

The man fort picture certainly captures the essence of a man. Missing is a beer fridge and a platter full of pork ribs and sausages.
A couple 1911s, a Glock, a couple AKs and an AR, couple bolt guns and a shotgun or two. A few more, can't see details but looks like two AR receivers on the floor foreground. Nice collection.

All that ordnance he's showing, you'd think he would have a safe or two to store it. The ammunition same, I use um, ammo cans for a watertight container that's easy to grab on a bug out. Well it's out for show and tell.

Posted by chasmatic at July 29, 2014 6:32 AM

The lesson is way too simple. There should be some way of combining the female and male charts to show how the male causes all that crazy. Most likely by thinking he deserves over 8 hot when he is a dog.

Posted by pbird at July 29, 2014 7:36 AM

Well yes he is but that's no reason not to have an 8.

Posted by Van der Leun at July 29, 2014 7:43 AM

The words should read, "Possibility of Girls nonexistent."

Posted by Jewel at July 29, 2014 9:36 AM

@ ghostsniper

"And that TV needs to be catapalted over the fence" I agree 110%. Television is the tool of control for the in empowered tyrants.

Also, the flag is representative of a past, now gone, Republic. It is a symbolic tool for the tyrants to use as a vapor of continuity for the sheeple only. Low information voters abound in the information age. Goebbels would be amazed at how well the Amerikan Communist has developed.

Posted by Terry at July 29, 2014 10:23 AM

I expected this to turn into a girls/boys thing, not the vitriolic rants and grunts, just gentle chiding.
An contention might be: it is because of the heavy metal that we can have the sugar & spice, the everything nice.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither of 'em work.

Posted by chasmatic at July 29, 2014 10:23 AM

Re arguing with women - you can be right or you can be happy, hardly ever both.

Posted by Old Surfer at July 29, 2014 2:20 PM

you can be right or you can be happy, hardly ever both.

If she needs to bust my balls I don't want any. They're like buses; another one will be along sooner or later.

Posted by Rob De Witt at July 29, 2014 8:31 PM

@Rob: my uncle Letsgo Lozko was fond of saying:
"it is better to love a woman and be disappointed than to eat your borscht alone."
He did, after all, raise bantam chickens.

Posted by chasmatic at July 29, 2014 9:49 PM

Yeah, well....

I have loved, and been disappointed, have left and been left.

And at this point that soup tastes better in silence, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by Rob De Witt at July 29, 2014 11:04 PM

fuk soup.
gimme a porterhouse and a lobster tail chaser....

Posted by ghostsniper at July 30, 2014 4:13 AM

In a Calypso beat..."If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a ugly woman your wife..."

Posted by John the River at July 30, 2014 9:11 AM

I really enjoyed that.

Posted by grace at July 30, 2014 11:16 AM

I am blessed to have a good woman. She adds to my life rather than takes away. Of course it took me three other wives and, ahem, some short-term unions to figure it out.
My current wife is a partner for life and she's got my six every time. She stood like a rock when I was on death watch for two weeks, (kidney failure and cancer almost killed me).

Men, don't fool yourself. As Kipling said: "... For the female of the species is more deadly than the male ..."

Posted by chasmatic at July 30, 2014 12:00 PM


You know anybody with any sense who's reached our age knows what you've got. I won't allow myself envy, knowing it for essence of Satan, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit a powerful wistfulness when I see a real marriage.

What it was was that I came to the realization that the only way I could protect myself was to change what I could, not what I wished for - so I gave it up almost 20 years ago after 2 marriages, several unofficial ones, and dozens and dozens of Hot Damn, This is Fun!'s. You know.

But my prayers and blessings on yours, pal, cause if you've got a good woman you've found something with a worth beyond rubies.

Posted by Rob De Witt at July 30, 2014 2:32 PM

A lot of this is what I call an "Inside Job". I had to get centered and balanced before I could attract that same in someone else.
Yes, I am blessed; I had to get out of the driver's seat and let God move me along but it worked for me.

As for you, nothing wrong with being alone not lonely. You are comfortable within yourself and I bet you have a lot to offer to others.
There are some women, I chose to keep them as friends rather than lose them as lovers.
My uncle Letsgo told me "never lay down with a woman has more troubles than you". It took me decades to understand that one, sheesh, slow learner.

Posted by chasmatic at July 30, 2014 10:52 PM

FOR: John the River at 9:11 AM

Roaring Lion - Ugly Woman (1934)

Posted by monkeyfan at August 1, 2014 11:13 AM