Man oh man, there's a lot more virtues than I would have thought. I always figured my virtues were worth something. As long as they don't reckon in all the shortcomings I should do alright.

My uncle Letsgo Lozko always said "a clear conscience makes a soft pillow."

Sleep well my friends.

So...post mortem Indulgences?

Uh, no no no my dear Captain, you gots to pay upfront, with the following restrictions:

Allow five days for the charges to clear (cash talks loudest);

Paying for premium service does not guarantee premium seating at time of departure;

No hold baggage, carry-on only, precious metals such as gold will be used for pavement;

Once inside the Pearly Gates, trailer parks down by the river will have P.O. box numbers only;

Disregard what this guy says, he's a grouch: "All hope abandon, ye who enter here! - Dante Alighieri