Caught in Traffic

Odd. I was thinking about this piece just the other day. If I remember right you first posted it as prose, and later as a poem. I was there at the moment my father-in-law died. I recall a sense of awe that overshadowed any sadness. My mother passed on just over a year ago. At the end she was faded, but quite lucid. I saw her of a Saturday. Sunday morning the nursing home called me. Mother-in-law remains with us, but for how much longer we can't say. You never know. Now it's just me and my most beloved wife. The only death I fear is hers.


Posted by jwm at May 12, 2016 10:42 PM

Almost the identical same situation here JWM.

Something woke me with a jolt this morning and I immediately got up and made my way to the kitchen for my morning mud. My wife was kneeling on the floor, the bottle of coffee cream over that at the end of a white trail. I ran to her and helped her up and asked, "What happened?" and she said she didn't know, she just got dizzy. I walked her to the breakfast nook table and she sat. I fixed her coffee and brought it to her and I asked again, "What happened?" and again she said she didn't know.

2 hours later she seems OK. Scary.
She can't go before me. She just can't. It's not in the plan.

"I looked
 Down into his eyes and they had no bottom."


I look into millennials eyes and see no top.

Posted by ghostsniper at May 13, 2016 4:48 AM

Better get her a thorough checkup, ghost. Same thing put my wife in the ER about 10 years ago, and after a lot of looking they found colon cancer, which they removed and there's been no recurrence. Same thing for me about four years ago, which turned into a pacemaker job.

Posted by BillH at May 13, 2016 6:40 AM

I don't what to say. They are both gone now, I feel lonely sometimes. I wish those that are left were closer, figuratively and literally. I guess I should try harder.

Posted by Will at May 13, 2016 6:46 AM

Thanks Bill. I talked to her a little while ago about this, but after 33 years together she has become like me, loathing everything medical. I'll keep on her.

Posted by ghostsniper at May 13, 2016 8:20 AM

I was holding my father's hand when he died. It was soft and small, like a child's. This piece brings it all back. Thank you.

Posted by James LePore at May 13, 2016 9:17 AM

Lost both my folks in May 12 years ago. Each passed within 5 days of each other. I was there when my Dad passed. Hauntingly familiar

Posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at May 13, 2016 10:14 AM

I have a little different story. My Father had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, they gave him just weeks to live. He wanted to die at home so we put a hospital bed in the living room and called Hospice. Everything went according to plan, he remained quite lucid through-out. When his time came, the family gathered, he panicked and said to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital, though everyone knew there was nothing anyone could do but God.

We live in a very small community so we called the ambulance and told them "no flashing lights, no siren". A friend of my dad's was on call that day and came right over, Jack said "hello Carl, did you want to go for a ride"? They sat him up in the gurney so he could see his surroundings and put him in the ambulance, my brother got in too. Jack left the ambulance doors wide open and they very slowly took my Dad for a little ride. As my father watched they took him down to the turn-around at the lake, and through main street past the store Dad had operated for 30 years. The drive took about 10 minutes and then Jack and his partner rolled Dad back into the house.

Dad was much calmer as they laid him back down. I took his hand looking at him intently. It seemed he wanted to say something to me, so I put my ear up close to his face. He whispered "don't you ever clean your glasses"? Those were his last words. God I miss the old guy.

Posted by tonynoboloney at May 13, 2016 11:45 PM

Mr. Ghost,
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is exhausting. Wondering if you coulda caught it is heartbreaking. I think it's disrespectful to "make" a person do something they really don't want to do with regard to medical stuff, but it's important to understand and accept the penalty for which ever decisions are made. You and the Mrs. are in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by DeAnn at May 14, 2016 7:41 PM

Thank you DeAnn.

Posted by ghostsniper at May 15, 2016 12:17 PM