My god, after awhile I was hoping you'd stop
E. VIS. CER. ATE.
He has fallen far from the TANG memo, eh ?
Those formally dyslexic, artistically barren, and distressingly autistic photographs might well be the earliest evidence that something was amiss. It's not just that they're awful. Rather, their lifelessness projects some kind of palpable void.
It's like the lonely version of "On The Beach". The least he could do is shut up and play his guitar.
"A stunning study in the heretofore unexploited textures of worn wood grain and rusted metal, a combination previously unknown to photography."
"...increasing the banality by at least two birds."
(I was actually slightly injured by the blast-effects of the smackdown--in the future, please give a Time on Target or a Shot to Splash estimate so I can find cover or move out of the area.)
Would it be safe to summarize that you are not on the Johnson side of the recent controversies?
A unique approach here, as usual.
LGF used to be, for me, one of the few blogs to visit several times daily. (And my blog is, or used to be, on the LFG rotating blog roll.)
It's been at least a week, if not two weeks, since I have been able to force myself to glance at it. And it's been months since I've done more than glance.
CJ is in it for the money, plain and simple. Pulling an Andrew Sullivan (and then some) has spiked his traffic as curious onlookers are pulled in car-wreck style from all regions of the political landscape. What this guy REALLY deserves is obscurity. I've removed all bookmarks to LGF from my computers, and I am forcing myself not to visit his site. I won't contribute to the income of this blackguard again.
And all this time I thought it was just me, "Geez, not another picture of his bike."
Whatever happened to Charles, anyway? Keep up the amazingly good work, V.
Charlie's photographs have a certain "The View From My Room" feel to them. Sardonic, yet superfluous.
- I note only that before "Paste" there is always his first tool, "Cut."
With respect to Charles' Johnson, I think this works better, overall, as I note only that before "Paste" there is always his first tool, "Copy."
Amadeus is still a treasure, is it not!
who better to sheathe the banal with portentous thuds of truth than Charles Foster Johnson
Oh, let this be writ in every place, a placard upon the very breast of the blogosphere, a scarlet standard of shame and warning, "beyond here be Lizards!"
Whoa. . . wait just a minute.
You don't suppose he's assembling a portfolio for the purpose of applying for an NEA grant, do you? Cuz, I'm thinking he may need the money, and this is a sure-fire way to fame and fortune: elitist banality underwritten by the oh-so-common man.
Subtle, restrained and yet utterly devastating. No sturm und drang of poleaxe cleaving a skull, this is a stiletto quietly piercing the heart. Well done.
Wow, I thought I was reading another Iowahawk piece. Well done!
Hey, I resemble that 2-inch dick remark!
I just reread this post slowly, in order to savor the sweet verbal abuse. It might be the finest piece of insultainment I've ever read.
Unlike most of you, I DID NOT shit my pants laughing at this. I came close though.
Are we certain that Charles Johnson isn't some sort of a blogger cooperative effort, lately suffering from the predictable result of never having been expressly anti-communist?
INSULTAINMENT! The word of the day directed at CFJ, the friennemy of the right.
Since I don't have a blog and am woefully ignorant of the biz side of blogging, is there really a bundle of money to be made with a blog the size of LGF? (or the former size of LGF as I saw somewhere his traffic is trending down)
Remind me never to show you my pictures of nothing.
OK, every single one of you are banned from the Internet, says Excitable Chucky :)
Nothing quite like being slapped up side the head with a velvet glove...while the cold steely hand is still inside.
Poetic elegance and beauty seamlessly merged with slicing brutality searing public scorn.
That OtherMcCain guy should turn 50 years old more often.
This is the most hilarious thing ever!!!
Oh puh-leeeeeze... "A breakthrough made even more meaningful by the absence of the locking eye for the hasp of the lock..."
The hasp is OPEN - the locking eye is out-of-sight to the right of the picture... If you're going to verbally flay, at least get your OWN story straight! ;))
Hey come on at Mr. Johnson current level of mental problems he is doing very well to be able to operate a camera let alone choose interesting views.
"dementia" "quisling" etc.
Try demon possession.
Oh I have a much longer analysis of LGF and it's history and the financial struggles and business reasons for heading off where it is going, but I think I'll work on that a bit more.
Note that in the hasp photo:
There's only one screw...
and it's loose.
You captured his art completely. Much like a muslim extremest, you were willing to go the extra mile an chop off all delusions of grandeur.
Empty soul, vapid art - a perfect example of our postmodern age. Arrogance doth not beget beauty.
'Much like a muslim extremest,' (snip)
And here I thought I was the only one to notice the similarity.
Thanks for this delightful 'art' review. You captured it well. Though you could have added a few more 'bike wheel spokes' shots for good measure, it truly hits the mark.
Of course the lock hasp has an eye. The critique is that CFJ chose to omit the very part of a lock that makes it ... a lock. More nihilism and nothingless, a lock rendered a non-lock by unsuccessful cropping.
Only CFJ could render the banal to be even less than it is.
Damn, Gerard, you gave me my first full-throated, wild-assed belly laugh of the week. God, that was sweet.
Let us all give thanks that CFJ never got into Lolcats.
Skewered Lizardoid dished, and iced.
"JWM, you've been hanging with stalkers."
(parting shot from sh*rmuta as I got sticked)
This is very revelant and impressive and you should totally be bitching about every aspect of LGF every hour of the day, every day of the week, every week of the year
maybe then you'll be respected and happy
one day your prince will come
Punctuation, capitalization, syntax. They can be your friends.
I understand that the great artists aren't truly recognized until after they've perished. Let's hope Charles gets recognized real soon!
What Gagdad Bob said...
Superb job, Mr V!!
I thought it was me. I was insulted on little green footballs just the other day when mentioned that I had trouble believing in man caused global warming. I was directed to a "science" site that was long on lofty pronouncements and short on facts. I finally "pasted" a quote from Addams "So long and thanks for all the fishes"
Ah, it's fun watching Islamophobes and (apparently) reformed Islamophobes going at each other.
Hmm. Chucky is ridiculous, but he sure is a giant compared to his enemies.
Well said, Gerard. I LOL'd; I really did.
But who wants to be a giant piece of shit?
If I included an animated gif, going back-and-forth would you get the picture, Mr. Hmm ????
There's hope for CFJ, here.
I can't wait to play with that awesome app!
What a FABULOUS way to start the day. Awesome report....and the comments...even better! Thank you!
As a member of "The Banned" I have no love lost for Charles Johnson.
However, assailing him over his political views and intolerance is one thing, but "attacking him" (and that's how he'll see it) over his photographs is just ridiculous.
He's a musician, and a website designer (or used to be) and runs a blog that is no longer relevent.
He has never pretended to be Ansel Adams or anyone even remotely like that. He just puts up "purty photos" and for that, although this is clealy satire, it seems to me he ought not to be criticised, or mocked. Had he claimed to have created Great Art Photos or something then the criticism would be valid; but he hasn't and this is just the same kinda "piling on" for which he is guilty.
This is priceless! It is on par with Iowahawk, and that says a lot...
For writing it, you are the man.
All the best
V, you've really outdone yourself this time. It does my heart glad to know that out of all of this bullshit, something of value has grown.
"I shall not endeavor to improve upon this brick-bat barrage of blandishments"?
May I draw your attention to the actual meaning of "blandishments"? Behold:
"The act of blandishing; a word or act expressive of affection or kindness, and tending to win the heart; soft words and artful caresses; cajolery; allurement."
You don't write as well as you think you do. As to what you have to say about a group of snap-shots? Why did you bother?
If you aren't happy with Charles, that's your right. But it's your imagination if you think what you wrote - a pretentious, awkward, and graceless piece of nonsense - proves anything except your own spiteful, nasty nature.
The meaning of "blandishment" as "a word or act expressive of affection or kindness"? Who knew? You don't say? Really? No kidding? Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that.
You've certainly schooled me, Dianna. I can only fall back on a certain exchange between Humpty Dumpty and Alice:
When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.'
'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you CAN make words mean so many different things.'
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master—that's all.'
Oh look - Chuckles the Clown sent Dianna the School Marm out to defend him. Guess Kilgore Trout the racist and Irish Rose the Shit Disturber and the rest of the flying monkeys were busy hijacking other sites.
You used to be one of the more respected conservatives at Little Green Frogs for so long - sad to see you drank the idiocy Kool Aid being proffered by Rev. Charles Johnson. How does it feel to be associated with dunderheads such as iceweasel, W-lover er Sharmuta, Cato the Elder and Jimmah?
Diana, may I draw your attention to the dictionary definition of "sarcasm"? :-P
And as for "spitefulness", it's Charles who bans people for merely disagreeing with the Little Green Party Line, not Gerard Vanderleun.
I didn't see the word douchebag anywhere in this article. Please remember, selrahC = douche.
While this is a priceless verbal portrait and a fitting birthday tribute to Stacy McCain, I'm going to have to side with realwest on this. Mr. Johnson has never claimed to be a great photographer. I presume he published photos that he either enjoyed taking or vieweing (or both).
As a very longtime member of LGF, it came as no surprise (but some disappointment) that I was recently banned from LGF myself for no apparent reason.
I will admit to some dismay, as the real jewel of LGF these days is the Linkviewer, where members could post links of interest. A self-posted link there from a small blog like Grand Rants could boost viewership from a few hundered to over 1,000 hits in one day. Now where are we going to get an audience, pray tell?
That said, it is unutterably sad to me that Charles has spiraled downward like this. I can't help but think that there's some tragic background to his descent, which is something we'll probably never know. I feel sorry for Charles, wish him the best, and hope that he is able to overcome whatever he is struggling with.
The "rise" of the audience at LGF is powered by the current actions of Johnson. It's a traffic play and he needs the money. He's underwater in more ways than one. Note the Amazon links to cameras often paired with the photos.
This effort at boosting the site into a PC chat room will not avail him.
In time we'll all have said what there is to say and move on. The traffic will continue to decline. The Left will not forgive and the Right will not forget.
In a way, it's punishment enough that he has to review all the comments all the time.
Hi Stoutcat! I too got kicked off after having been a member since 2000. I agree, the Linkviewer is really the only thing going for LGF these days. I find it ironic that a lot of the links posted there tend to be more conservative than Chuckles' own views. Heh.
CJ is a hack. in every way, he is a hack. he can't take a photo, can't play guitar, and can't host a blog. everything about him is exceedingly average and his bitterness is evidence of that pathetic fact. how sad to be the best at being banal, or the expert of the average.
I was there with you at the end prepared to cast my wreath of ivy and bicycle streamers adrift along with "What took you all so long?" sentimentality, when I was stopped by the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and felt a shiver from cold sand. CFJ is not on the spectrum.
The lack of empathy ASD meme is bs. Aspies most often are not able to demonstrate empathy but it is felt, though not verbalized until remediation for such skills. The DSM-IV does not make this clear on the surface so I understand the public confusion in light of MSM cut and paste journalism. Furthermore, for ASDs there is a hyper sense of rules and order, which applies to good codes of conduct, for a desired non-confrontational or unaltered routine in their lives. (Aspies wouldn't wield a ban stick.)
Clearly, CFJ has no empathy as demonstrated by seven years of hate crime projection, attacking the messengers, and perceived vengeance through personal bitterness. He lives a life of unreason.
P.S. I'm not a doctor on TV but I'm wearing my White House provided lab coat. Recall he was lefist prior to 9/11, reasonable fear turned into religiously motivated attacks, spotlight gone from Rathergate, hysterics over people gathering for conventions from Brussels to Tea Parties or chat threads, and I have to go with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) more common in men, and developed later in life. We could ask any number of the multitude of people (friends, relatives, aquaintances, companions, neighbors, etc.) who have face-to-face contact with him as so often represented in his glorious photography, no?
P.S.S. I have stared too long at the sun and find the tide has gone out. Therefore, I'll drop this wreath with bicycle streamers in isolation subject to the whims of the moon and tide for the abandoned thought he is.
I stand in awe of your skills, FeFe. Most excellent and heartfelt.
I too was banned from LGF for deigning to express my opinion. I've gone back to look a few times, but it only takes me less than a minute to realize I can't stand the place. And his pictures do suck. Mine do too, but I don't post em on the interwebs.
It's funny to me that whenever the subject of CFJ comes up, the comments turn into a, "Thread of the Banned" kind of thing.
BTW: Even a slow motion train wreck becomes tiresome after a while. I finally stopped visiting LGF when I realized even Johnson in Full Leftard mode wasn't entertaining anymore.
You neglected his most important works, the "Tanker on the Horizon with Beach in the Foreground" series.
Ignoring this sequence does nothing but disrespect the moonbat lizardmeister.
Shame on you, Sirra!
On the other hand, this is my first visit to americandigest.org but won't be my last!
Actually, I do have a collection of his "Tankers Looming" series, but I am saving them for a future homage to "The Enduring Themes of Charles Foster Johnson" also known as "Rock. Bike. Accident. Buy This Camera at Amazon Now."
As they say in more plebeian corners of the Conserva-Verse; Your satire slices like a hammer!
Thank you for the laughs.
F.stop, yer killin' me!
Charles J. (as he is known to the cognoscenti) is preparing a new Magnum Opus series:
"Dirt: its multivalences in textural claptrappery as revealed by the auto-setting on a camera more expensive than it need be".
Prominently featured will be:
"Bicycle Tracks": in~ sand; wet mud; dust; powdery gravel; dried mud; yellow clay; red clay; brown clay; humus and (the ephermeral and hard to register) peat moss.
Hand offset prints will be available for wrapping fish.
Obviously, you do not understand the depth of Charles Johnson. He is a littoral genius.
Although the real focus of the blog is digital photography, there are also a lot of helpful tips on shooting situations (flowers, landscapes, weddings, portraits, etc) that will apply to any kind of camera: from digital point-and-shoots to large format film photography.
Delicious, Mr. V. To those who say Mr. Johnson has never purported to be a professional photographer, I say: who else tries to hawk that crap at $24.95 a pop? Hitler was no great shakes as an artist, yet he also tried to sell his slop at exhorbitant prices. (The sound you are now hearing is a head exploding somewhere)
Perhaps next year Mr. Johnson will grace us with a "reasonably-priced" full-color, four photo screen-saver program featuring portraits of every remaining LGF reader/drooler.
By the way, its my theory (and just a theory) that the pony tail may hide acne scars on the back of the neck.
Ah, a great theory because it is most likely true.
CJ McWar-hole needs to toss some soup cans in there.
The iconic juxtaposition of a couple cans of alphabet and cream of mushroom soup would elevate his photographic art almost as much as a heightened awareness of focus would.
I wait with monitor flickering and bladder full for the momentous occasion of some fearless and stout LGF ex-pat to finally publish the heretofore secret "Enforcement Edicts of Lizards 1." While many believe that their mere existence is a myth (like Goldstein's tome re; Ingsoc), tantalizing morsels have been tangentially verified.
For instance, a wide swath of experts now believe, after decryption made possible with a Cray III mainframe, digital camera, and bicycle tire, that edict number 4 proclaims to all dutiful lizards "I upding, therefore I am."
To be sure, there are contrarians who deciper the source code, allegedly altered by climate-denying creationists,to read "hit the tip jar, or I will post another slobbering Amazon/Kindle plug in a manner no less subtle than a carny barker." I leave it to those in the know which interpretation is correct.
One suggestion to the dauntless soul who may take up the task of laying the Edicts in the sunlight for all to see: Perhaps the written word can be interposed with the soothing, sweet images of a certain calendar to which some humans and all hibernating bears are so forcefully drawn. Or perhaps the crayon renderings of a chimp can be of use. I suggest this dalliance in the hope that the reader of such blazing wisdom and pedagogy from one Charles Johnson will take at least temporary surcease, or perhaps a nap, lest their gray matter combust from the imminent sense of being wired into truly cosmic wisdom, peace, and elevator music.
I wonder WTF happened to him from the Days of TANG-Fisking to now ?
Either a complete mental short, or mayhaps being "bought" by some entity ?
Sad. But your continued takedown is making me spew coffee upon my monitor. The art-references are TFF. I love Dr. Bobs' "insultainment "
I offer "rhetorrhea" as the main LGF product
CF Johnson seems to be a total product of his internet screen. If you spend all your time on freeper comments sections the world has to look a little buggy. But come on. Here is Johnson's list for converting - now inverted:
Reasons I left the left:
1. Support for fascists, both in America (see: William Ayers, etc.) and in Europe (see: all leftist parties, ex-communists, Marx, Stalin, Jean Paul Sarte, Gramsci, the whole shebang while making excuses for anti-western Muslim Imams, etc.)
2. Support for bigotry, hatred, and anti-white supremacism (see: William Ayers, Anita Dunn, the NAACP, the ACLU, PAstor Wright, etc.)
3. Support for throwing women back into the Dark Ages, and general religious fanaticism (see: NOW quiet on treatment of Muslim women, silence on clitorectomies, abortion good all the time, general passivity in the face of stated Muslim leadership to replace western attitudes towards women and marriage, etc.)
4. Support for anti-science bad craziness (see: Climate change, most green job talk, East Anglia, NASA AL Gore, Van Jones, etc.)
5. Support for homophobic bigotry (see: Reverend Wright, et al, the entire black church establishment in America, etc.)
6. Support for anti-government lunacy (see: Code Pink, WTO protesters, Socialist Workers Party, Michael Moore, etc.)
7. Support for conspiracy theories and hate speech (see: Michael Moore, Anita Dunn, Van Jones, Climate alarmists, science-will-save-us-or-we-will-kill-you scientists, comment section at Daily Kos or Huffington Post, etc.)
8. A left-wing blogosphere that is almost universally dominated by raging hate speech (see: Daily Kos, Huffington Post, Little Green Footballs, etc.)
9. Pro-Islamic supoport that goes far beyond simply tolerating radical Islam, into support for fascism, violence, and genocide (see: the doemstic miltary, academia, government whose standards of political correctness allow mass murderers to grow and flourish among us, etc.)
10. Hatred for President Bush that went far beyond simply criticizing his policies, into racism, hate speech, and bizarre conspiracy theories (see: Dan Rather memos, everyone calling him Hitler, all the media ranged against him, academia, the CIA and FBI, you know the rest, etc)
OhioDude: Alas, it would appear that factual fisking has gone by the wayside and given way to figurative fisting.
Ouch! That's gotta leave a mark!
Any further, and he would accuse you and RSMC of attempted murder...
Well done! :-)
Gave up on LGF in 2006-7. Hit it a couple of times this year and it's nothing but "tea party!!!!", "Glenn Beck!!!", "Creationists!!!". It's a lot worse now than even 6 months ago.
Now to the photos.
Individually, there's nothing wrong with any of the photos. In fact, I like some of them. But, when put together, I believe your review and critique is spot on. The photos are devoid of life for the most part. People are rendered as insignificant insects, if people even appear at all.
And while I don't believe Mr. Johnson (old or new version) is a Nazi, I do believe that he would find Welthauptstadt Germania architecture quite pleasing. That architecture turns makes the individual insignificant.