April 8, 2009

An Open Letter from Obama-Americans to Islam: Please Come and Kill More of Us.

fallingman.jpgTO: ISLAM


It's 9/10 again in America! Our President has said the U.S. "is not and never will be at war with Islam." We say, "Come out, come out, wherever you are! Olly olly oxen free!"

You may have asked yourselves if, with the apotheosis of Barack Hussein Obama, the American supporters of the President of the Millennium are impatient with you. Yes, it's true. You are not fulfilling our desires which we believe we have made clear with our election and deification of Obama. So let's be clear about one thing: as supporters of Obama we thirst for death. Our death. Now that President Obama has signaled we can kill our babies, our brain dead (except if they are serving Democrats), and our too old or too sick, we'd like to move on to ourselves because, as any good Democrat will tell you, there can never be too much death for us!

We would like you, at your earliest opportunity, to slake our deaththirst - especially that of the whitest and therefore most guilty among us - by slaughtering us wholesale.

We thought our guilt would leave us when we elected Obama, but it has only gotten deeper. For President has shown us, in so many ways in the last week, just how deeply wrong America has been; just how guilty it is for simply existing. (True, he was just warming up for the expunging of Israel, but we can take a hint.)

Dearest Islam, hear our prayer and lamentation. As President Obama reminds us, "fairness" is what all of life should be about. Just as you hate us for what we are, so we loathe ourselves for who we are. We have so much while you, the petulant children of a whacked-out god, oppressed by your own ratty cultures and fascist governments and unable to contribute anything to civilization for over 500 years, have so little except your "trauma." Because of this we feel it is only fair that you get to kill more of us at will.

As Obama-Americans we have a problem with our self-esteem in this country, and that problem is that you are not killing enough of us quickly enough. Especially if we support Obama. You don't think we're worshipping him for him for our health, or even his health-plan, do you?

We don't ask for much in this regard. We only ask that now that Obama leads us and soothes you, you plan our deaths more carefully and thoroughly. We note that, during the unfortunate events of the 11th, only a few of our children were killed by you. They died because they just happened to be on our airplanes that you borrowed for the day.

This is unacceptable to us. As Obama-Americans we believe in equality of outcome regardless of age. We believe in including children in all our important events. After all, they're citizens too. Therefore, please make sure to be more inclusive in the future.

If you could please manage a mass hostage taking at, say, The Mall of America that replicates Beslan Massacre where 344 innocent civilians were killed, 186 of them children, we'd turn out for it in droves. We'd even buy new Birkenstocks and wrap ourselves and our kids in new white bedsheets -- in the Islamic burial shroud way, not the KKK, of course.

We realize that Beslan is a high-water mark in terms the of bestial slaughter of people like us who otherwise might enjoy just another boring day of shopping for Prada knockoffs and $300 New Balance sneakers for their kids. We know you can rise to the challenge. Working together in harmony we can even hope to get the event listed at Stuff White People Like.

Don't forget, before you touch off the explosives that incinerate ten thousand or more of us here and there across the land, to get Katie Couric and Keith Olbermann to visit so they can interview you about your abusive fathers and traumatic childhoods. Obama after all had an absent father and a mental mother and so feels your pain. As do all of us who yearn to be like him.

If possible, could you answer the questions of our caring Obama media while slitting the throats of our children for the cameras? It makes for much more interesting reality-TV than the dull screeching-mullah clips you've been releasing of late telling Hillary she's nucking futz. Ratings will soar when this stuff is shown in heavy rotation on MSNBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN and MTV. If you could start the slaughter with the smallest and cutest of our kids, and cut throats upward until you reach our teenage daughters, you can keep this thing rolling for days.

Don't worry about our police or even the National Guard. On instructions from President Obama they'll spend days "assessing" the situation, and pausing for interviews and reactions from the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Ted Kennedy (If he's still around. Put a rush on this, okay?)

Don't rush it too much when it comes to the doing. You'll have plenty of time. With any luck, our President Obama will call you to "talk" and then will reconvene the 9/11 Commission to examine the motivations for your throat slittings in real-time.

It is for this reason that you should confine your terrorism to the week-ends in American malls so you can be sure of having enough of our children on hand. It wouldn't do to run out of throats to slit or heads to cut off while you have the nation's attention. You don't want people clicking away to watch "Survivor," do you?

Now, from time to time, we might catch a few of you, but don't be deterred by this. With Obama it's all good. President Obama's new policy for terrorists is strictly "catch and release."

With Obama we'll have all terrorists reclassified as "victimized" criminals. We'll make you as comfortable as possible. You'll have a chunk of years spent warmer and more well-fed and cared for than our homeless.

If caught under Obama-Rules, you'll have bail set in a traffic court, and bail met by the ACLU. You'll also have the freedom to practice your religious mania as well as free cable. You'll have access to the finest free legal counsel that we can provide. You'll have the time and materials to write out your story and you will, unlike many of our citizens, go to the front of the line in getting your version of "Killing Infidels and Children: My Struggle" published to universal notice. If you time it right, you'll get an above the fold five-star review on the front page of the Sunday New York Times. Depend upon it.

Finally, we note the fact that your chosen god doesn't have a whole lot of use for women other than as breed-sows for making more Muslims, and that your erotic drives are, from a very young age, channeled towards lithe and lovely members of your own sex. Obama-Americans believe that all lifestyles are equal. Hence you'll find yourself awarded some all expense paid R&R at the "Downtrodden Terrorists" Resort in San Francisco for relaxation. Once checked in you'll have no end of opportunities. If you run low, we can always bus in a passel of dope-smoking barely legal and almost bare skateboard and surfer boys from Southern California and toss them in your room for refreshment. It's the Obama-American way.

Remember, the watchwords of our All-Obama government will be "warmth," "caring," "blathering," and "understanding." After you've undergone sufficient warm, caring and understanding blather, we can then look towards getting you set up with one of the "Moderate Muslim Mullahs" that gave money to the Obama campaign. Just be patient and everything will work out as Allah wills.

You may even think that, sooner or later, you may actually have to undergo a trial.
And you may think that just because we executed Timothy McVeigh , we might actually, at some point, start executing Muslim terrorists just because they are slaughtering us.

Forget about it. McVeigh was a libertarian, a Catholic, an American and white. You are, by definition, fascist, Islamic, an anti-American and brown. Our much touted "justice system" assures you that you cannot be executed no matter how many of us you kill because Obama has decreed you have an Allah-given right to kill us. You have, thanks to our jury system, been given a "Get Out of Your Execution Free" card. If you wait long enough, we'll be sending you your "Get Out of Jail Free Card." You will then be flown, free of charge and first class, to the Islamic country of your choice to be worshipped as a "Hero of Jihad" for life. Or you can just stay in America, in the town or city of your choice, and employ your skills as a Hallal butcher. We'd even let you poach some of our surviving kids to cut your overhead.

So, when you really think about it, what have you got to lose? Chillax!

We know that all this may seem stupid and laughable to you, but Obama-Americans know that it is a pleasure and honor to be killed by you in the worst way you can imagine. It's how we feel your pain. It's the Obama-American Way. Keep the faith. We, and our children, are here for you.

Yours truly,

[Updated from May of last year, but not updated all that much.]

Posted by Vanderleun at April 8, 2009 2:23 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Stop channeling my bad thoughts!

Posted by: David McKinnis at May 30, 2008 8:42 PM

Nail meet head.

Posted by: Velvet Hammer at May 30, 2008 9:47 PM

In even the most clueless liberoids there are subconscious bits of realism. Not by accident do the moonbats who most long for obliteration have the fewest dependents suitable for massacre.

On the other hand, good conservatives feel quite sure that they deserve to survive, multiply and prosper. They tend to have large families well dispersed geographically and protected, as well as may be in our gritless society, by dogs, guns, remote rural dwellings and large suspicious male relatives.

Mid-American towns are awash in children and dewy teen girls. They are also the kinds of places where troublemakers of any kind are noted, watched, reported, and jailed or evicted without regard to political correctness or theoretical issues of "discrimination."

Places like SanFranciskastan and Seatabama have metrosexual men with chihuahua dogs, not children; the citizens have elliptical trainers, not guns and brush jackets. Embedded in the collective consciousness of modern enlightened sorta-males is the knowledge that their deaths won't matter, nor the deaths of their little dogs, neither.

Terrorists may take out one school or movieplex or mall's worth of American children. Then parents will consolidate into communities and regions where the safety of the kids and the future of freedom are the ONLY issues considered.

Dwindling populations and continued unavenged terror attacks in progressive ghettos will then render them meaningless, fangless and forgotten.

Our country may no longer be a "kinder, gentler" nation after the first nuclear bomb goes off here; it certainly will be a sterner and more demanding place. An unfriendly place for men who won't have children they're committed to work, fight and die for. An unforgiving place for women who nurture only their enemies.

A better, stronger, freer place.

Posted by: askmom at May 30, 2008 10:00 PM

You are really a sick fuck. So much to offer and you continually write drivel like this.

[ED- Well, then, "shaun", just don't read it. Read your own drivel. That would pretty much double your traffic.]

Posted by: shaun at May 31, 2008 3:05 AM

I would say that this one is fantastical rubbish were it not for my personally knowing several people as you've described. I try to stay away from them as I consider them psychotic, but in most other ways they seem very sane and charismatic individuals. I have looked at their skewed world view from many angles and cannot understand people who think like this. I keep getting the feeling that I'm missing parts of the puzzle, but I'm afraid to find the final pieces. Oh, and yes, they do live in Seattle.

Posted by: Big Mo at May 31, 2008 4:46 AM

You're the real sick fuck - looked at your blog - not much but lefty dog vomit there.
Have a nice day somewhere else.

Posted by: Hunt Johnsen at May 31, 2008 6:08 AM

In my opinion this is slightly over-the-top, but then when I read askmom's comments I can't help but agree. I hope it doesn't come to that, but history says it will. Even George Washington was starved by Congress in Valley Forge and Morristown. Congress has resisted every single American warrior of the past 240 years. They follow, but never lead.

I trust the Americans I know to do the right thing when the time comes. That's just the way it is. And I'm OK with that. Little use getting all excited till then. We have seen this movie before. And it has a happy ending.

Posted by: dr kill at May 31, 2008 9:37 AM

It IS slightly over the top--and right on target. These people don't understand reason, they don't understand reality, they understand being met with a force to stop them. And, as Americans, we're still looked upon as the "rowdy child" in the classroom. GOOD. We ARE still young as far as nations go and we ARE still "rowdy" when someone crosses us. The problem is the "children in the classroom" who are trying to "emulate" their "elders" (Europe) in being oh so blase. They need to be taken out to the playground and roughed up a bit.

Americans, in my opinion, are brash, loud, uncouth and very, very deadly when you mess with our children and our values--and I LOVE IT.

In other words, I'll be marching right in step with my mid-Western brothers and sisters in the rage category to "help" bring the "final lesson" home to all those emulators wanting to appease our enemies--and that's just in cleaning out Congress.

Excellent post!

Posted by: Miss Beth at May 31, 2008 2:51 PM

"It IS slightly over the top--and right on target." I was trying to think of a succint response, and I think that's just about perfect.

Posted by: ELC at June 1, 2008 3:08 PM

Tsk, tsk, Shaun........I looked at your blog and I don't even know where to start. You were already behind when your parents gave you a non-name such as this one; a poorly misinterpreted phonetic misspelling of a real name. Not your fault, but still indicative of a less-than optimum childhood.

Your problems continued when you decided that digitally recycling leftist cultural pap was a good use of your time. Not to mention you didn't do the decent thing and CLEAN UP YOUR NAME before flogging it around like Bill's used cigars.

For a closer you've picked on Gerard, a man whose reasoning and writing skills are from a galaxy far, far beyond yours.

Please reproduce extensively. I want my grandkids to have the easy life, competing for jobs and desirable life companions against your offspring.

Posted by: askmom at June 1, 2008 4:50 PM


Posted by: barf simpson at June 5, 2008 10:18 AM

Truth Be Told - it truely saddens me to think the media (all you listed & more) have become so biased and anti american that they totall ignore the facts. Can you say affirmative action / slavery reparations. Our fore fathers are rolling over in their graves. God Bless America

Posted by: Disgusted at June 5, 2008 7:45 PM

Personally, I don't care how many Democrats Muslim Terrorists kill but I doubt if they really want to kill their traitorous friends in the Democrat Party. After all, Osama and the Democrats are on their side.

Posted by: Jack at June 9, 2008 2:12 PM

Gerard, I thought this post was a shade or two past all decency, and indeed it may be, but then I read My Amygdala, My Self in the current issue of the Atlantic Monthly whereby Jeffrey Goldberg reveals this tidbit about his brainscan when looking at a picture of Aquavelvajad:

The Ventral Striatum, which specializes in processing reward, lit up when the author looked at an image of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. This was perhaps the most puzzling finding of his visit to the MRI.

You'll find this text in the caption of the picture- not otherwise searchable.

Eh, probably just a fluke. Junk science and whatnot.

Posted by: Count Grecula at June 16, 2008 12:07 AM

Ah, now that's very, very interesting.

Posted by: vanderleun at June 16, 2008 12:14 AM

The third paragraph ("Just as you hate us...") is just so true. With Obama in power this place will be a total mess, criminals will do as they please, more than they already do. That guy wouldn't stand to any of our enemies, he is popular just bcause he's black.

Posted by: Serps at July 11, 2008 5:18 PM

It's 9/10 again in America! Our President has said the U.S. "is not and never will be at war with Islam."

Unfortunately for Teh Preznit, islam continues to be at war with the U.S., and everything on the planet that is not muslim. One of those Inconvenient Truths.


Posted by: jwm at April 8, 2009 1:33 PM

Nothing more needs to be said. For those who see it otherwise I say Useful Idiots.

Posted by: Jeffersonranch at April 8, 2009 7:11 PM

Henninger today.

Will Islam Return Obama's 'Respect'?


Posted by: Cathy at April 9, 2009 9:20 AM

As regards muslim immigration Francestan is already gone, with Britannistan not far behind.


Posted by: J. R. Ewing at April 11, 2009 12:39 AM


Posted by: J. R. Ewing at April 16, 2009 3:32 PM

Ask Mr. Bush who did it ! Come on amigo dont fool your self

Posted by: hussam at April 29, 2009 9:15 AM

Exterminate all muslims/terrorists and world terrorism drops off to nothing. prove me wrong.

Posted by: Jack Edgar Garrett at January 28, 2010 9:09 PM