December 20, 2008

Stuff White People Really Like: Little Black Dolls They Can Hold in Their Big White Hands...

... and Squeeze Until They Say "Yes, Massa."


This illustration via the clammy cadre of "progressive" white racists at The Boston Phoenix. You know, those happy warriors who voted for Obama because "it's not about race but about 'change' Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink." Now they're running a charming story about what they think they're owed. Sure to be short-listed for The Putzer Prizes, this magnum dopus is titled and subtitled Take Back Barack -- "It's time to reclaim the man we put in the White House." An assertion to which one might answer, with Tonto, "What do you me 'we', white man?"

Of course the two, count 'em, two writers it took to fill this drool-cup story to the brim are quick to stir their blather to a lather with ye olde not-about-race cocoa spoon. Indeed, this deadly duo of prose assassins are so deficient in self-awareness they probably believe the pablum they pound out in their extended sessions of inter-office, half-baked mutual fellatio they call "writing."

We didn't vote for an African-American man, nor for a US senator from Illinois, nor for a father, a husband, an activist, or a young politician. We voted for the Barack Obama we fantasized — the progressive miracle worker. We voted for Change.
Nothing like a little power lust to get "progressive" juices flowing, is there? Yes, voting for Obama had nothing, nothing at all, to do with his cool, smooth, sexy blackness, and everything to do with the smooth palaver of his valved voice; that whispered promise in the ear of the John that he or she is going to get everything that is desired, even the dark and kinky stuff with the red ball gag labeled 'The Fairness Doctrine.' Of course, once you get taken up to that red room, put your money on the dresser, strip and stretch out on the bed you find out there's a guy named Guido hiding in the closet with a baseball bat.

Jeff Inglis and Deirdre Fulton, the struggling scribblers who squeezed out Take Back Barack, are probably speaking for millions of Johns that couldn't wait to stick their rampant hopes into the Obama Dentata. It's the classic Hooker/John/Pimp bait and switch. You think you are finally going to get laid, but you end up just getting screwed.

Of course, the screwing wouldn't be so painful now if the foreplay hadn't been so intense. As Jeff and DD recall those fast fading hot days and steamy nights,

"Millions of us stood up and shouted, handed out fliers, talked to our neighbors, donated hard-earned money, and drove people to the polls for Change. We screamed, hugged, kissed, and cried when we learned Change had come to America. We knew Change wouldn't come overnight, that it would take time, but we were excited..."

My God, you can almost see the dew of desire glimmer on their tattoos and drip from their facial piercings as they think back on all the times their fevered fantasies of the New Jerusalem were titillated. They can still feel and hear that moist tele-prompted tongue rim the inside of their ears and then jab straight into the pleasure centers of their brains. I'm sure Jeff can remember the stirrings in his loins as clearly as DiDi can recall the thrills running up her legs again, and again, and again. As the Obamalations and strokings continued without let up all through those long months, it must have seemed to Jeff and Didi, as it did to Yeats, that:
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

Alas, it is clear -- at least for the moment -- that not only is there not going to be a Second Coming, there's not going to be a First. Instead Jeff and Didi have been hit with a huge case of Barakus Interruptus. They're all fired up with no place to let go.

"Now, we have reason to worry that Change is not coming to America after all. For nearly two years we were encouraged to "Be the Change you want to see in America." It is now obvious that we have a ways to go toward Being that Change. And so does President-elect Barack Obama. And that, above all else, needs to Change."
When the blue-balled and jilted get to feeling screwed without getting laid, there's no limit to their wrath. Hell hath no fury like a spuming leftist scorned... or even mildly dissed. Because, you see, if you believe Jeff and Didi, they did it all for HIM! Progressives were the ones who fashioned the ONE from the clay and breathed life into HIM. He's their creature. Without them, he'd still be a junior senator from Chicago who has to listen to the bloviations of Rev. Wright, spend Saturday nights at smokers slipping cash to that Mf'er Blago, smoking in the boy's room, and then come home to his seething wife making Ralph Cramden humma-nah-humma-nah noises, but without the porcine charm of Cedric the Entertainer.

What did our trepanned Trotskyites like Jeff and Didi do for Obama? In a word, everything:

"It was not the Democratic base, nor the centrists, nor even the center-left, who put Obama where he is today. The progressive movement rose from near death and kept Obama alive in the primary, eventually proving stubborn enough to carry him to victory over the Establishment candidate. And then, in the general election, it was the progressives whose energy infected the nation, whose enthusiasm reminded longtime vote-the-ticket Dems that elections were about the future, and whose contributions, tiny as each individual one was, funded the revolution of Change that swept Obama into the Oval Office."

If Jesus cared about people so sodden with misplaced self-regard he would weep. But Jesus has more important souls to save, so Jeff and Didi will have to remain far down on His Compassion To-Do List. They'll be found somewhere below Sirhan Sirhan, but still well above their own personal heroes -- Fidel, Che, Stalin, Pol Pot, Al Gore, and Patient Zero.

Did you ever notice that the more extreme the "Progressive" cause, the whiter the constituents? Did you even notice that the burnt-out vacuum tubes that are our hard-core "Progressives" [A new-agey term for Communists but without either the baggage or intellectual rigor.] always seem to have a most heroic self-image. They are always the ones that know the way to the Utopia. They have the keys to the kingdom of the Brave New Heaven. They are the ones clad in the raiments of the gods and if everyone else would just listen to them, and do what they say, and follow their lead into the pit, we'd all be together in our electric Yugos, our soy sandwiches, and dressed in full-body condoms for that great getting up morning. By and by. They're never happy because they never feel good enough or smart enough and, doggone it, people don't like them.

And here they go again with Obama. Jeff and Didi and their cohort have "done it all" for the O-Man. He'd be nothing without them. Nothing! It doesn't seem to occur to them that all the time they thought they were using Obama as a way to get their soulless sensibilities into power, Obama was using them. Every step of the way. Just as Obama has always used people -- every step of the way until they become inconvenient and then... off to the magic land that lies under the bus.

With progressives Obama has always played his best game. He's the apotheosis of Shelby Steele's black bargainer. As Steele notes in The Obama Bargain,

"Though he likes to claim that his race was a liability to be overcome, he also surely knew that his race could give him just the edge he needed -- an edge that would never be available to a white, not even a white woman.

How to turn one's blackness to advantage?

The answer is that one "bargains." Bargaining is a mask that blacks can wear in the American mainstream, one that enables them to put whites at their ease. This mask diffuses the anxiety that goes along with being white in a multiracial society. Bargainers make the subliminal promise to whites not to shame them with America's history of racism, on the condition that they will not hold the bargainer's race against him. And whites love this bargain -- and feel affection for the bargainer -- because it gives them racial innocence in a society where whites live under constant threat of being stigmatized as racist. So the bargainer presents himself as an opportunity for whites to experience racial innocence.

This is how Mr. Obama has turned his blackness into his great political advantage, and also into a kind of personal charisma. Bargainers are conduits of white innocence, and they are as popular as the need for white innocence is strong. Mr. Obama's extraordinary dash to the forefront of American politics is less a measure of the man than of the hunger in white America for racial innocence.

That's a key concept with Obama and one he was careful that progressives never caught onto. Recall that this is a man with a pretty good half-court game and to get good at that you have to know how to fake left and go right. Or the reverse. Either way, that's one of the chops you need to win in urban ball, and Obama's got them all.

Jeff and Didi actually think, like all the Obamadroid Progressives, that they actually had him. They thought they had their little black doll clutched firmly in their wise white hands (see above). And now they think they've lost him.

And they want him back. Now. Today. Feet will be stamped and breath held until it is made so:

"Now is the time to hold him accountable — even before he takes the oath of office — because once he's in there, he will be surrounded by the trappings of Power, the machinery of State, and the inertia of Bureaucracy. If we are to reach him, we must act quickly."
What follows is a lengthy screed about how to do this, all of which is irrelevant and immaterial, trivial and tedious, now that Obama has the job. In the argot of an ancient black blues player, "The people keep a comin', but the train done gone."

Jeff and Didi need to leap to the last level of grief, acceptance. Jeff and Didi can't ever get Obama to come back and continue the stroking they found so stimulating and pleasurable. Oh, they'll have their moments of a false frisson handed down from on high from time to time. After all, they are such useful tools that, even dull as they are, Obama can always find a use for them here and there. He might even send down some legislation from time to time -- but it will be the equivalent of a half-comped hour in some Korean bisexual massage parlor with a happy ending thrown in every second visit. There's not going to be any romantic getaways to the Western White House in Hawaii. There's not even going to be the sharing of long, hot showers until the wee hours of the morning for Didi, or even the courtesy of a reach around for Jeff. Obama's out of their bush league now and has gone up to the show.

This doesn't mean that Jeff and Didi and their dim cohort won't see some elements of their "progressive" agenda show up in what Obama does from time to time. Hell, we're all going to see some elements of our agendas show up in this man's actions and policies. Everybody's gonna continue to see something of what they like in the man and lot they don't, but he'll still be oozing charm from every pore as he oils his way across the floor of world history.

But what, we all might ask, is Obama's real agenda? Good question since when you look at his history in toto so far what you get is an onion. You strip off layer after layer and at the center you find... nothing; no plan at all beyond getting up the next rung of the ladder no matter who you use and who you have to throw away. Some people are frightened of Obama because he seems to be "too Left." Now we have our pet progressives starting to fear him because he seems to be "too Right."

I fear Obama because I believe that his real "plan" is no plan at all. After all, that's the record he ran on, and that's what his campaign was about. Seinfeldian at all points, it was a campaign about nothing. It seems to me that, as he always has, Obama's just making it up as he goes along.

Well, as the Old Zen Master always says, "We'll see."

[HT to the great, and much more terse, Don Surber -- Just ask me for the pointer.]

Posted by Vanderleun at December 20, 2008 11:59 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

You know about Guido?

BTW, the correct term is POTUS interruptus.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at December 21, 2008 8:08 AM

But the Second Coming is at hand.

Posted by: rickl at December 21, 2008 9:14 AM

That's a pair of real monosynaptic motherfuckers.

Posted by: dr kill at December 21, 2008 9:16 AM

And then, in the general election, it was the progressives whose energy infected the nation

That's actually a good way of putting it.

Posted by: rickl at December 21, 2008 9:19 AM

But you have to admit it's fun to watch.

Posted by: glenn at December 21, 2008 9:21 AM

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!!"

Turns out there isn't one. It's actually an empty suit.

Standby for historic incompetence.

Posted by: Jimmy at December 21, 2008 10:55 AM

The O could be the manchurian candidate, the Cloward-Piven messiah of the left, or maybe another centrist a la Clinton.

Or as you say he could just be making it up as he goes along-and thats terrifying.

We'll see...

Posted by: adagny at December 21, 2008 11:13 AM

It is fun to watch people who legislate perfection, only to be crushed with disappointment by reality.
...everyone, go over to Gagdad Bob's and listen to Mahalia. Another pause and begin again moment, Bob.

Posted by: Jewel at December 21, 2008 11:52 AM

I must say, I like the unintentional irony behind that "infected the nation" business. Gonna take something a lot stronger than mere penicillin to clear this dose up. And plenty of it, too.

Posted by: Mike at December 21, 2008 2:54 PM

Dang it, rickl, you beat me to the punch.

Posted by: Mike at December 21, 2008 2:56 PM