January 19, 2012

"Hailush:" New Form of SnowRain Identified in Seattle

aoobleck.jpgThere's an old hoax concerning Eskimos and their hundreds of words for snow. Like all good hoaxes it sounds right, especially to those who don't know much about the Inuit. But it still is wrong. It is a myth.

I am, however, undaunted by the failure of the Inuit. I am working on compiling hundreds of words for rain. All derived from careful and miserable observation here in Seattle. Especially in light of the severe snow pasting received yesterday which is today followed up by the latest variation of snorain, a variation so unique that it calls out for its own word.

My newest word is "Hailush." This is a fat blob of moisture that contains all the qualities of hail and slush at the moment it strikes you right between the eyes. Think of a "Hailush" storm as thousands of wet melting snowballs about a quarter of an inch in diameter pelting you without mercy. That's "Hailush" -- pronounced "hail - ooosh." (Rhymes with "WTF?!")

The closest relative to Hailush in literature is, of course, "Ooblek" from the Dr. Seuss classic "Bartholomew and the Oobleck."

Oobleck does share some of the properties of Hailush. As we learn in the sacred text of Dr. Seuss, Oobleck
"Won't look like rain.
Won't look like snow.
Won't look like sleet.
That's all we know."

Well, I'm here to tell you that Oobleck, once you drift its properties down close to freezing, looks and feels a lot like Hailush.

Now you might think Hailush, like Oobleck, is a myth. But I'm here to tell you that the only myth currently on display here in Seattle is the Myth of Global Warming. And yes, my little Gore-Aid drinkers, I recognize that one winter doth not make a trend. But until your "settled science" is a bit more settled, would you please stop sending your brainwashed children around to my door collecting signatures and donations to the frigtarded Sierra Club so that we can save the planet? There's been three in the past month.

The next one to ring the bell is going to get a pail full of Hailush!

Posted by Vanderleun at January 19, 2012 11:06 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Dr. Seuss. Yes, Dr. Seuss. I enjoy Dr. Seuss books. I've always enjoyed Dr. Seuss books.

I suppose I will always enjoy Dr. Seuss books. I vow to keep taking pleasure in Dr. Seuss books even after it was pointed out to me that, hell, anyone can make a rhyme as long as they get to make up their own words.

So, for me now, it's a more nuanced appreciation for Dr. Seuss. It's a sort of combination of fond nostalgia for cap pistols, and riding in the bed of a pickup truck without Uncle Ward risking citation or arrest, and being eight years old in 1968 and getting to go to Disneyland--along with finding Dr. Seuss books to be annoying, for the rest of my life.

Anyone make make words rhyme if they get to make up their own words.

Posted by: Mike James at January 19, 2012 1:46 PM

If you would like to do a bit a research on rain, spend a couple of years in Ketchikan. Seattle's repututation as a "wet" place is very overrated.

Posted by: John at January 20, 2012 10:14 AM

Just wait till it warms up a bit. My people often refer to it as Snirt or Slirt.

Posted by: Dave in PB at January 20, 2012 11:37 AM

There are 100 words for snow in the Far North.

Effing snow
GD snow
blasted snow
etc, most along the lines of:
%*%@!^%#)! snow....

A late old friend said he was going to leave Buffalo, NY,{annual 100"+ of snow} with a snow shovel on his shoulder, and head south until someone asked him what that was he was carrying...


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