December 7, 2006

Litvinenko's Way

You begin as a Russian. You become a member of the KGB. Then you're a Russian Spy. Then you're a Russian spy in London saying bad things about the Kremlin.

Journalist Anna Politkovskaya, is in Moscow. She's also saying bad things about the Kremlin. In October she is shot to death in her apartment building in Moscow. You start to investigate her killing.

One November evening, you meet two Russians in a London hotel. One is a KGB agent. Later you go out to eat at a London Sushi bar with an Italian academic where it is said you receive documents naming Ms Politkovskaya's killers. Then you become very sick. Then you get even sicker. Then you die.

It is determined that you died of poisoning by radioactive polonium 210. Lots of things and people that have had something to do with you or with your killers start to emit radiation.

But before you die you convert to Islam.

As a newly minted Muslim on your death bed you ask for your funeral to be a full Muslim ceremony at the Regent's Park Mosque in London.

Today's the day, but when you show up in your coffin, the authorities say no dice. You are still too radioactive for Islam and the general public. Instead, there's a small ceremony in the mosque while you're body remains outside. After that, you are taken to a secret burial site and interred. Your coffin is air-tight and radiation proof.

It is all very, very Russian. Isn't it?

Posted by Vanderleun at December 7, 2006 8:41 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Let's just say I hope the authorities are looking at the nuclear connections and considering which capitols of the world Jihad would like to pulverize. Because deathbed conversions to Islam among caucasians are suspect, at best. And this man had long-noted addictions to everything that huge wads of cash could buy.

Posted by: AskMom at December 8, 2006 9:35 AM

Hmm. Litvinenko, Bette Midler's underwear, and the Baker report each get one comment. John Lennon gets 22.
The sixties may be over but the eighties apparently aren't.
Anyone see the new Duran Duran video?

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at December 9, 2006 1:44 PM

Just to be fair, the John Lennon post has been recycled from two years ago, so the comments have been piling up since then.

But you're right: we do have ADHD.

Posted by: StephenB at December 9, 2006 9:50 PM

Sometimes it's just plain funny to read about all those Russian clowns pulling the West' strings (especially the strings of their wallets!).
Being a Russian I am familiar with how much every agents knows about the whole of the Russian Secret services. Believe me -- even less than rookie FBI agents!
I was a witness (and a hired interpeter) when one such crook came to the owner of a local company and offered him a very "profitable deal". In spite of my warnings the owner was so taken by worldly and articulate thief that he allowed the guy full run of his company. The company ended up in receivership, but the crook got a million dollar house in Orlando, a condo in Daytona and two Mercedeces. Eventually the FBI got on his case, and he escaped back to "Mother Russia", but for almost ten years he lived like a king.

Posted by: Irene at December 16, 2006 8:24 PM