July 5, 2010

Space Patrol: Dear Mr. President

I am writing you today to request a small clarification of your current policy for NASA as expressed by your apparatchik administrator Charles Bolden.

Mr. Bolden, now headed towards an ignominious end as a parrot after an otherwise distinguished career as a Marine and astronaut, has claimed that you tasked him to "find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science ... and math and engineering,"

Mr. President, I have seen enough of the world to know that there are times when a politician says one thing when striving for power while meaning to do something quite the opposite when in power. (Your administration has certainly set new world records in this field in your short time in office.) As a result I am concerned about your instructions to reach out to Islam with NASA.

If, on the one hand, your intent to just buck up the sorry state of what once, centuries ago, was a thriving realm of progress and civilization in math, science, and the arts, I fear that you are either bullshitting a billion Muslims in search of a new world record in how many can be bullshitted by one man, or shoveling seaweed against the tide, as has been your wont of late in the Gulf of Mexico.

If, one the other hand, your intent is to go Full-Ralph-Kramden and send all of Islam to the moon, I support you one hundred and fifty percent.

Yours truly,
G. Van der Leun, Esq.

Suggestions for the President and Bolden?

Posted by Vanderleun at July 5, 2010 9:22 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Bravo! Well said, sir, well said.

Posted by: Mike Lief at July 5, 2010 9:35 PM

Yeh, an asteroid is going to destroy the earth. There will be three giant spaceships made to evacuate all the people. Muslims will be on the first one to leave, as is only fitting.

Posted by: Brett_McS at July 5, 2010 11:52 PM

For once Gerard I find your interpretation of the POTUS's instructions to his space man somewhat and uncharacteristically benign. I would have included it in this collation of evidence of O Hussein's pedigree.


Posted by: Frank P at July 6, 2010 1:48 AM

Hear, hear!

Posted by: Jewel at July 6, 2010 6:48 AM

Pow! Zoom! To the Moon!

Posted by: Cato the Elder at July 6, 2010 7:06 AM

No, no don't besmirch Ralph Kramden's good name - he drove a bus, he didn't blow them up!

Excellent post. Spot on.

Posted by: Sadie at July 6, 2010 7:49 AM

Frank, I don't know whether to thank you or curse you for that link. That is the most sickening piece of Obama Islamophilia porn I never want to see again.

Our president has enlisted NASA... NASA!!!... to try to convince a religious group whose mainstream view of the natural world is that the reason the apple falls from the tree to the ground is because a capricious god decided to make it happen that way that time, every time thus far - to love the U.S despite our modernity. Most Muslims don't BELIEVE in "reason" or the ability of man to fathom laws of nature established by God. There simply is no way to reconcile the West and Islam.

As I responded to a friend speculating that Obama is Muslim, we only know two things for certain... he ain't Christian and he has Muslim sympathies. I believe his religion is Leftism and his mission is, as Newt says, to advance the secular socialist agenda. He's been quite successful at THAT! God help us.

Posted by: Western Chauvinist at July 6, 2010 8:13 AM

Very peculiar personality. The elected president is a marxist, therefore believes in no diety. He attended a "church" for 20 years without realizing that the clergy there violated all the beatitudes, commandments, and Golden Rule regularly from the pulpit. Quite a feat for the smartest Saviour ever born.
He also throws himself to the floor before a religious group whose only point for existing during this "Common Era" is the utter destruction of the Empire of the Infidels and the establishment of the Great Caliphate throughout the Flat Earth's 57 Corners.
Perhaps BHO is just angling for a better place in line for a shot at the 73 virgins. After getting an eyeful of Michelle's TB (perhaps she caught it from (Sir Edmund)Hillary...he might need a change.

Posted by: privatouring at July 6, 2010 9:12 AM

You are too kind, Mr. Vanderleun. No Muslim civilization can be equated with progress, unless we count conquest as the Muslim's progress for himself. Conquest may have improved the invader, but never the host.
The man who knew them best and loved them most observed that they were merely fortunate in their epoch--between two great civilizations and so not threatened by either, performing a real service in preserving something of a classical past for a medieval future. They were imitative at best, calling on conquered subjects or more vigorous foreigners to administer their new lands while they picked over the remains; sometimes liberal patrons, but almost never providers.

Posted by: james wilson at July 6, 2010 10:09 AM

We elected a guy named Hussein, and all he wants to do is to suck up to muslims.

Dope Slap.

Posted by: Fat Man at July 6, 2010 10:21 AM

Poor Muslims ...the only group I know of that need rocket scientists to improve their self esteem. They should be insulted by this direction from Team 44.

Posted by: joe buzz at July 6, 2010 11:14 AM

Dear Mr. Bolden:

Muslims have rocket scientists of their own, thank you very much. They are all tasked to help find ways to obliterate Israel and India.

Perhaps you should consider sponsoring "Junior League Rocket Clubs" in Gaza, so that the Hamas kids can show off their ingenious home-made Jew-busters.

And how big a deal was it for the ancestors of today's Arabs, a bunch of marauding nomads, to permit the cultures they conquered to continue perpetuating and expanding on the science and math left in place by the Greeks and Byzantines?

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at July 6, 2010 12:45 PM

It was only a matter of time and something we should have all expected. First and foremost, he's gone full bore on the redistribution of wealth....now the redistribution of self-esteem to all those who don't have it and aren't willing to work for it.

What ever will be next? Perhaps the redistribution of healthy colon bacteria?

Posted by: Webutante at July 6, 2010 1:00 PM

I await eagerly Iowahawks interpretation of "The Right Stuff" in the age of Obama.

Posted by: westsoundmodern at July 6, 2010 1:46 PM

Why not have the Postal Service reach out to Christians?

Posted by: Blastineau at July 6, 2010 2:53 PM

If the arts and sciences ever thrived in the now moslem world they did so despite, rather than because of the moslem conquest.
And any of the arts and sciences "preserved" by islam slowly withered and died like a field irrigated with sea water.

Know islam by its fruits.


Posted by: jwm at July 6, 2010 4:27 PM


You owe me a new monitor.

Posted by: rickl at July 6, 2010 5:23 PM

Two words...halal Tang.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at July 6, 2010 7:18 PM

To improve Islamic self esteem: Declare the Moon a Palestinian state as it is the true location of "the farthest mosque."

Posted by: Harry at July 6, 2010 7:54 PM

Actually, Harry, that might not work out the way you think.

A minaret is built tall to see the limits of the Prophet's lands.

You can see a lot from the moon. Even with Global Warming (TM).

Posted by: TmjUtah at July 6, 2010 8:40 PM

My vote is: Acme rockets for Iran with Wile E. Coyote as technical advisor.

Posted by: Jason at July 6, 2010 8:51 PM

Perhaps we could offer close-up seating for muslims around the base of the launch pad for all future launches. They could study all the intricasies of the rocket engines. We should be able to assist at least 10,000 on their way to meet their (FALSE) prophet with each launch. And they'll get a nice preview of their eternity the moment the countdown reaches zero. mohammed = satan.

Posted by: Roger Drew Williams at July 6, 2010 8:56 PM

One could enhance Muslim self-esteem by creating a sudden need for approximately 36 billion virgins.

Posted by: Fletcher Christian at July 6, 2010 10:32 PM


Posted by: Cheezburgrrr at July 7, 2010 7:47 AM

True, but on the other hand, they would have to look up at, rather than down on, us infidels.

Posted by: Harry at July 7, 2010 5:13 PM