July 9, 2011

Say Yes to Endless Campaigning: Let Obama Be Obama

AD_Obama_aow.jpgNothing is so distasteful and clogging as abundance. -- Montaigne

Of late there’s been no end of criticism of the president for leaving his desk and his oval office to campaign. In so doing, it is said, he leaves a lot of the “important and pressing” business of the nation unaccomplished. Such criticism is, to my mind, not only unwarranted but counterproductive at best and disastrous at worst.

Wise Americans of all persuasions want to keep this president as far away from the “important and pressing” business of the nation as possible, for as long as possible. Every second, every minute, every hour, and every day Obama is kept out of his office is a net positive for the nation as a whole. Every moment he’s out there on a smile and shoeshine selling his next four years of nostrums to whatever liberal and progressive suckers he can bugger is one less moment he can spend actively buggering the nation at large.

Remember, right now it’s not really time to play “Capture the Flag.” That’s for next year. Right now it’s time to play “Run out the clock.”

And what better way to play “Run out the clock” then by appealing to this man’s core competency, campaigning?

It’s time we faced the fact, as Obama has long since known, that the only thing this man does well is to campaign. Indeed a brief glance at his record before and after attaining the presidency as “The Candidate from Central Casting” shows that campaigning is not only what he does best, it is the only thing he has ever done. Campaigning is the alpha and the omega of this man’s thin resume. Always has been. Always will be.

So to all those pundits cluck-clucking about Obama’s campaigning crimping his productivity, I say: “Just. Shut. Up.”

Pundits, please stifle all those statements about what the president “should be doing to bind up the nation’s wounds.” He is the nation’s wound. Kindly let him suppurate in peace.

Encourage him to have many spontaneous meetings with his ever dwindling group of key supporters.

Chivvy him to make ever more inane and insane promises.

Goad him into running his Gaffomatic at full power.

Titillate him with tee-time at every top golf course.

Inundate him with opportunities for extended indolence.

Bolster his bravado and let him spread ever more bafflement with his bullshit.

Get him to “Give ‘em Hell, Barry” when it comes to insulting every American to the beige side of the coffee-colored complexion.

Rage at him to ramp up his racism. Let as many Americans as possible see the sham up close and personal.

Persuade him to party without pause.

Assure him that when Bob Dylan sang, "Even the president of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked" he was dedicating it to Obama.

In short do anything you can to keep Obama out of his office until you can get him out of office permanently. Just let those “While You Were Out” pink slips pile up to 9.2, 9.5, 10.2, 10.5 percent.

You’ll thank me in 2012.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 9, 2011 2:41 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Most presidents are watched for their "coat tail" effect.

Mr. Obama will be remembered for defining the "bricks in pockets" effect.

Posted by: TmjUtah at July 9, 2011 3:06 PM

He will be the first president to have the "cement shoes" effect.

Posted by: Jewel at July 9, 2011 4:31 PM

I have an even better idea: Let him assist his criminal gang at the ATF, DEA,NCS, FBT and State shred evidence of Fast and Furious, that'll keep him busy for a while! Or we could sent him, and Holderto Mexia to stand trial for this murderous scheme; and finally-make him trace all the weapons sold by serial #.

Posted by: cali at July 9, 2011 7:27 PM

Actually I think we need SOONEST to have marble statues on pedestals of the WON and his immediate entourage erected along Pennsylvania Ave.

Then on 1/20/2012, picture the glorious parade down that same Avenue to the swearing in as those simulacrum are wrenched from their plinths to shatter in front of the approaching President-elect.

Posted by: Peccable at July 10, 2011 6:15 AM

One of your best, Vanderleun!

Posted by: mare at July 10, 2011 7:40 AM

The only problem is that, thanks to the 100 limp wristed cowards and girly men in the Senate during this administration, we have unelected, unconfirmed, totalitarian fascist czars busily at work destroying this country.

Posted by: St. Thor at July 10, 2011 8:48 AM

I knew our vacations were a taxpayer bargain!

Posted by: MOTUS at July 10, 2011 11:28 AM

If he keeps giving the same speech to half empty venues, he's going to get real mad. When he's mad, he's mean.
What if all the available rental mansions and five star hotels decide to stop booking the O's and their cast of thousands entourage ?
Now Mo is mad too, and she's 'meaner than he is' according to his own assessment.
If anyone thinks the Four Horsemen are frightening, they ain't seen nothing yet, compared to the Mad Obamas.

Posted by: della street at July 10, 2011 2:43 PM

Man-child-In-Chief should stay on the golf course. Obamabot czars should be imprisoned.

Posted by: A.Men at July 11, 2011 2:20 AM