March 1, 2015

Trolling before it was cool by Queeditch



Posted by gerardvanderleun at March 1, 2015 11:13 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Just cuz English is so facile at assembling bits and pieces of words together, a little Latinic here, a little Germanic there, to make something wordish, it still don't make it a word. How many of Lewis Carroll's marvelous inventions have truly crossed into the common tongue? Chortled, maybe. There ain't nobody that that would call e.g. fubar or snafu words. Expressions maybe.

Shoot, have you read the drivel that comes from academia these days? Have you read modern math proofs? I reckon they are competing to see who can make up the most words. Sort of like "plop factor", the paper with the densest use of academicese is the winner.

Don't matter anyhoo. All these wordy-words won't survive the idiocracy winnowing. Later doodz.

Posted by: John A. Fleming at March 2, 2015 12:54 AM

It's a British thing. I wouldn't get it.

Posted by: Larry Geiger at March 2, 2015 8:01 AM

Consider yourselves lucky.
There are some countries in the world that don't even have language.

Posted by: chasmatic at March 2, 2015 9:07 AM

"There are some countries in the world that don't even have language."

Is there a United Nations Emergency Native Language Relief waiting list?

Posted by: pst314 at March 2, 2015 10:15 AM

"There are some countries in the world that don't even have language."

Home > As Read on Car Talk > Vowels to Bosnia

Originally written by the staff of The OnionĀ®

Vowels to Bosnia

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O,U, and Y, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian words more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhrand Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world,"Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying more than 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one 'E.'Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident, Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

If the initial airlift is successful, Clinton said the United States will go ahead with full-scale vowel deployment, with C-130's airdropping thousands more letters over every area of Bosnia. Other nations are expected to pitch in as well, including 10,000 British "A's" and 6,500 Canadian "U's." Japan, rich in A's and O's, was asked to participate, but declined.

"With these valuable letters, the people of war-ravaged Bosnia will be able to make some terrific new words," Clinton said. "It should be very exciting for them, and much easier for us to read their maps."

Linguists praise the US's decision to send the vowels. For decades they have struggled with the hard consonants and difficult pronunciation of most Slavic words. "Vowels are crucial to construction of all language, "Baylor University linguist Noam Frankel said. "Without them, it would be difficult to utter a single word, much less organize a coherent sentence. Please, just don't get me started on the moon-man languages they use in those Eastern European countries."

According to Frankel, once the Bosnians have vowels, they will be able to construct such valuable sentences as: "The potatoes are ready"; "I believe it will rain"; and "All my children are dead from the war" [And "Oh my God, there's an axe in my head." ?]

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aaowith vital, lifegiving supplies of L's, S's and T's. The consonant-relief effort failed, however, when vast quantities of the letters were intercepted and hoarded by violent, gun-toting warlords.

[ All Time Favorite Letters ]

Posted by: pst314 at March 2, 2015 10:21 AM

Those are perfectly cromulent words.

Posted by: BlogDog at March 2, 2015 11:31 AM

Hulk like.

Posted by: Cameron at March 2, 2015 12:18 PM

My uncle Louie Lozko, known to his friends and feared by his enemies as "Letsgo Lozko", he raised bantam chickens.
He also worked on some hush-hush stuff for Uncle Sam during WWII underneath Soldiers' Field in the Windy City. Chicken talkers was one project.
Another involved constructing a language based entirely on consonants. He was inspired by the language of chickens, known far and wide as the smartest animals in the barnyard. An example of his secret language has been recently released from the Official Secrets Act:

Q: wh dd th chckn crss th rd?

A: t gt t th thr sd.

Posted by: chasmatic at March 3, 2015 10:05 PM

over to you, stug

Posted by: chasmatic at March 3, 2015 10:09 PM