April 9, 2009

Time to Get Detroit Back on the Road

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"How many wheel chairs with motors is General Motors going to have to make before anyone wants to buy one?" - Rush Limbaugh

Yesterday we noted that the gelded GM proposes to reverse-engineer its sexuality by merging with the metrosexual vehicle company, Segway, to make the OWay, a vehicle that can make testicles retract on sight and any man's voice go up three octaves just by sitting in it. It is the very model for a modern metrosexual. People such as James Wolcott would cash out their MTF fund to buy one. Gazing at the vehicle brings to mind the old WWII movies in which the Nazi on the motorcycle is tooling along the alpine roads oblivious to the piano wire stretched across it and rooting for the wire.

But rescue, real rescue, for GM is on the way.

Today, that great American Iowahawk announces The Iowahawk Council of Automotive Advisors

Soon after the election, former law professor Barack Obama first floated another law professor as his "Car Czar" ( although he ended up settling on the only thing arguable more useless in a car emergency: a Benz-driving financier with a journalism degree).
In despair, Iowahawk offers his services because:
Unlike nearly every other moron giving advice to Detroit, I actually know how to build a car.
As such, I realize the industry is not suffering from a lack of law professors -- it is suffering from a lack of imagination. They gave us cup holders and electric seat warmers when we wanted angel fur and bubble tops. They pushed micro-clown cars and hybrids when the market was rife for chromed 8-deuce Chrysler Hemis. Well, Bucko, all that outmoded thinking is going to end during the reign of Czar Dave.
And out it will go as we review some of the models (some with supermodels) that Iowahawk presents as prototypes for a new birth of American freedom.

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Here's the full range of models from his Council of Automotive Advisors

Posted by Vanderleun at April 9, 2009 11:59 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Two words: British Leyland

Posted by: yanni.znaio at April 10, 2009 3:19 PM