May 18, 2011

Clintonmania!: Crazed Sex Poodles, Rutting Chimps, and John Edwards Performing for the Camera.The Democrat-Socialist Animal Farm Party Continues

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The problem with seeing yourself as a big swinging dick in the political realm is that sooner or later you trip over it. And even if there are tragic and criminal aspects to these tales of Democrats/Socialists Gone Wild, you have to admit that the comic element is never far below the surface. There's no shortage of sober assessments, but there's also a lot of pie-in-the-face footage to be enjoyed too.

I won't rehearse the insane opera buffa humor of cigars and stained dresses of the late and not so great moments of the Clintonian era. Perhaps in deference to the current Secretary of State (AKA "The most humiliated wife in the history of the world!") we should draw the curtain on that sad series of blowjobs that shook the world.

But the same cannot be said of the new triumvirate of public perverts, Al, Dominique, and John. After all who can forget Albert Gore's much deserved turn in the barrel:Al Gore A "Crazed Sex Poodle?" | The Smoking Gun "Masseuse's claims read like R-rated political fan fiction."

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And it certainly does, but it is only a tame beginning to what is now starting to flood the hive mind when it comes to the previously-big swinging dick of the IMF whose reputation is evidently going to be sent off to the Animal Farm of Democratic Socialism in France:

Miss Banon claims she was forced to fight off the multi-millionaire financier when he behaved like a ‘rutting chimpanzee’ during an interview in a sparsely-furnished Paris apartment in 2002. -- 'Dominique Strauss-Kahn said I had to sleep with him if I wanted an interview' | Mail Online

Delicate minds would wish that they never had to conjure the image of Strauss-Kahn as a "rutting chimpanze," but -- as they say -- things once seen cannot be unseen. Instead, I prefer to take that image and dress it up in a party hat and that cute cowboy get-up that J. Fred Muggs used to wear. It adds a bit of piquant flava' to the whole shebang.

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Rutting Chimp Strauss-Kahn: The Early Years

Now you might think that, sooner or later, the Strauss-Kahn story will run out of gas and you'd be right. All good things must pass. Fortunately, round about the mid to late summer, we're going to have a replacement when the John Edwards sex tape emerges to clog the libidos of the internet masses.

John Edwards rages at mistress Rielle Hunter for not destroying sex tape | Mail Online

He is performing sexual acts. The woman is holding the camera. He is aware he is being taped.’

According to the Wall Street Journal Mr Young has described the tape as like ‘watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion - repelling but also transfixing.'

"Repelling but transfixing." Yes, the very phrase takes the mind to the end of its capacity for bogglement. Still, sign me up for this next installment of "Clintonmania." I'm setting out the lawn chair, firing up the grill, and cracking a cold one. This should be better than the Indy 500 when it comes to golf clapping the flaming carnage as the Democrats hit the wall at 200 mph.

Posted by Vanderleun at May 18, 2011 12:33 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

You forgot about Eliot. Don't forget about poor Eliot.

Posted by: Oscar at May 18, 2011 1:44 PM

Also, the Governator, who really was a Democrat. Although his penis induced pratfall was not quite as public at the time.

Posted by: stephen at May 18, 2011 1:50 PM

Hmmph! "Repelling, but boring." I can't imagine being transfixed by any of this. After Lewinski nothing transfixes, everything repels. If Our Dear Leader, I mean, castrato in chief had a love child, would said child have a birth certificate? That's the real question on nobody's mind.

Posted by: Jewel at May 18, 2011 4:25 PM

I don't think the Dems will be alone.

Just about anybody who has been inside the beltway or in a state house longer than two terms is going to be on the skyline.

Soon.

Posted by: TmjUtah at May 18, 2011 6:15 PM

Ah Dems, the intrawebs is not your friend.

Posted by: Brett_McS at May 19, 2011 2:03 AM
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