August 29, 2011

Something Wonderful: Hullo Und Velcome to der Slingshot Channel

I have such a long list of targets for this thing they'd fill the telephone book of a small Maine township....

The building of the slingshot cannon and other insanities is HERE.

From time to time I ask myself, "Self, why do grown men spend their time making such obviously destructive and violent toys."

And then I sigh and remember the old plaintive poem, "He's Just a Boy."

Got to understand the lad - he's not eager to be bad;
If the right he always knew, he would be as old as you.
Were he now exceeding wise, he'd be just about your size;
When he does things that annoy, don't forget - he's just a boy.

Could he know and understand, he would need no guiding hand;
But he's young and hasn't learned how life's corners must be turned.
Doesn't know from day to day there is more to life than play.
More to face than selfish joy, don't forget - he's just a boy.

Being just a boy he'll do much you will not want him to;
He'll be careless of his ways, have his disobedient days.
Willful, wild and headstrong, too, he'll need guidance kind and true;
Things of value he'll destroy, but reflect - he's just a boy.

Just a boy who needs a friend, patient, kindly to the end;
Needs a father who will show him the things he wants to know,
Take him with you when you walk, listen when he wants to talk,
His companionship enjoy, don't forget - he's just a boy.

Posted by Vanderleun at August 29, 2011 3:54 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

After Obama wins his second term and disarms law abiding, tax paying citizens, this is what I will be hunting elk with...

Posted by: Captain Dave at August 29, 2011 5:46 PM

Has Sippican seen this thing yet?
These guys are definitely borderline types.


Posted by: jwm at August 29, 2011 6:16 PM

Sippican sees all these finds first.

Posted by: vanderleun at August 29, 2011 8:10 PM

Yeah, this has Sippican written all over it. His hold on you is almost complete, Vanderleun. I almost see you going off to Maine forever. But then you would be surrounded by mostly decent types and have a lack of weirdos to photograph for our amusement if'n ya do that. Plus, it gets cold there.

Posted by: Jewel at August 29, 2011 9:08 PM

Love the poem: It could be an anthem for Barak Obama.

Posted by: stuart at August 30, 2011 9:10 AM

What a great movie villain accent, too: "Und now it's finished, Mister Bond...let me show you how it verks."

Posted by: Voton at August 30, 2011 11:01 AM

As a woman, I find the men who create machines very sexy and loveable. Because the slingshot is understandable, say in contrast to an electronic device whose innards are not visible and whose workings are incomprehensible, it is even easier for me to find the creator of the slingshot admirable.

The mechanically-oriented mind of man is, I believe, a product of evolution. To understand this fact is made easier if you read Professor Melvin Konner's book, "The Evolution of Childhood," Harvard University Press, 2010. The male brain is already male in the womb.

When the electromagnetic pulse hits a region of North America, we'll all be happy to have such slingshot makers around.

Posted by: Gloria at August 30, 2011 11:11 AM

I work out with these things called "resistance bands" that are mega-huge rubber bands. The biggest of these suckers are 200 lbs. test. I estimate I can cluster enough to create at least 1500 lbs of force. With the resulting machine I could launch a 200 lbs. ball of lard from the top back seats at Madison Square Garden and have it squash Lady Gaga on the stage.

I must begin planning and building now so my machine can be ready before Gaga's star fades.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at August 30, 2011 3:43 PM

You'll only give her a new costume idea.

Posted by: rickl at August 30, 2011 4:00 PM

I suggest you watch Myth Busters, Don. They built a catapult that hurled an old piano many many feet. That was a pleasure to watch. I agree with Gloria about the slingshot makers, too. We need more Rambos.

Posted by: Jewel at August 31, 2011 1:09 AM

"It's very thick and probably tasty... but we have to do we gotta do..."

They've got cannon party people in Germany.

Who knew???

Posted by: TmjUtah at September 3, 2011 11:09 AM