Oh the suckingness, the hideous, frothing gaping wound of suckingness!

. . . the hell?

Paul should sue them for not letting it be.

Dolph, say it ain't so!

The English have a vulgarism that seems especially appropriate: Color me gobsmacked.

Forgive me for not being able to sit through that to find out...what was the point?

Just let it be, Uncle. Let it be. There's no knowing why.

If you mute the sound and close your eyes, it isn't that bad.

Good God Almighty, words fail me! The quick sequence of Katarina Witt looking like a tranny, Tonya Freakin' Harding,queen of some bowling alley in Hoboken and Glenn Close( how old is she 107?)..that was epic....It can't be far from an accurate portrayal of Hell especially for people who spent their entire lives sitting on a couch eating cheetos and watching sit coms.

How did they gather the cast? They must have called a minor league agency and asked "Hey do you have any fat washed up has beens who want to drive the final nail in their own coffin. We have some work for them. It pays $5.25 an hour..."

I understand they are investigating allegations that Fab Morvan lip synched his part in this video

(For those who didn't get it, Fab was one half of Milli Vanilli; though I can't recall if he was Milli ... or Vanilli

Horrifying. I am scarred.

Brutal!

One more thing. How many of these people actually believe that the Blessed Virgin Mary comes to them when they find themselves in times of trouble, know what I'm saying?

Would it have been too much trouble to find just one practicing Catholic to join the chorus -- someone who actually believes in Mother Mary?

Katarina Witt playing air guitar? Check.
David Faustino pointing his finger at you telling you to "Let it be!"
Check.

And the Seventh Seal was opened.....

It's some sort of Scandinavian talk show or entertainment show, and clearly they just got the guests to record the song separately in their studio as they showed up all year. Japanese commercials also tend to feature odd things that US and UK stars wouldn't do in the Anglosphere.

Also, it's several years old.

Katerina Witt was WAYY more entertaining in 'Ronin'.
(She skated, and got whacked. Entire role.)

I had seen this before. I don't remember when. Maybe it was in a nightmare.

I have no idea who Maria McKee is, but she's kind of cute.

Yikes I watched it again. It seemed familiar ,now I remember I was smoking angel dust and saw this on Venice Beach. Then I drowned myself. And Peter Falk and Leslie Nielsen washed up on the beach with me and started singing.... Rikki Lake singing "in my hour of darkness..hour that's your whole life,Sickie...Kathleen Turner looks like she had a fatal attraction to twinkies and dingdongs ....Dolph Lundgren,hit him again Rocky, put him out of his misery. Somebody give Freddie Krueger a chainsaw or knife or whatever he used, the boy needs to get busy here..

A blinding flash and a mushroom cloud is the perfect punctuation for that drivel. "Let it...glow!"

With a master's degree in chemical engineering and a Fulbright scholarship to MIT under his belt, I tend to cut Dolph some major slack. But yeah, the video is for sure some kind of crazy.

I think Bill's got the backbeat on this one.

Where's Sam Kinison when you need him.

Kinnison's in Hell, screaming out for Mother Mary, no doubt.

Huh...gee Jewel... I didn't see him in the video...

Note about Osama Bin Laden:

"Day One. Now Only Eternity -1 To Go. Hang in There!" (tm)

I for one was astounded...at the achievement of the sound engineers!

Yes, it is Hell on earth. Look at the changes in our idols. Do they see it? Real Hell is: They don't see it and the rest of us do.

Thank goodness its just another Scandinavian pop atrocity. I was afraid this was going to be an Obama campaign commercial.

It's not my inner contrarian, I promise, but I found it... uplifiting. I'm going to go watch it again, haters.

. . . I'm just sayin' . . . .