September 3, 2011

Hell's Welcome Wagon: So you die and are sent to Hell and you cross the Styx and you are greeted by this group and you know, you just know, it's going to be a very, very long Eternity

Posted by Vanderleun at September 3, 2011 10:59 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Oh the suckingness, the hideous, frothing gaping wound of suckingness!

Posted by: Jewel at September 3, 2011 11:29 AM

. . . the hell?

Posted by: Cameron Wood at September 3, 2011 11:35 AM

Paul should sue them for not letting it be.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at September 3, 2011 11:51 AM

Dolph, say it ain't so!

Posted by: goldenwest at September 3, 2011 12:03 PM

The English have a vulgarism that seems especially appropriate: Color me gobsmacked.

Posted by: Deborah at September 3, 2011 12:20 PM

Forgive me for not being able to sit through that to find out...what was the point?

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at September 3, 2011 1:24 PM

Just let it be, Uncle. Let it be. There's no knowing why.

Posted by: Jewel at September 3, 2011 1:39 PM

If you mute the sound and close your eyes, it isn't that bad.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at September 3, 2011 2:26 PM

Good God Almighty, words fail me! The quick sequence of Katarina Witt looking like a tranny, Tonya Freakin' Harding,queen of some bowling alley in Hoboken and Glenn Close( how old is she 107?)..that was epic....It can't be far from an accurate portrayal of Hell especially for people who spent their entire lives sitting on a couch eating cheetos and watching sit coms.

Posted by: bill at September 3, 2011 2:36 PM

How did they gather the cast? They must have called a minor league agency and asked "Hey do you have any fat washed up has beens who want to drive the final nail in their own coffin. We have some work for them. It pays $5.25 an hour..."

Posted by: bill at September 3, 2011 2:39 PM

I understand they are investigating allegations that Fab Morvan lip synched his part in this video

(For those who didn't get it, Fab was one half of Milli Vanilli; though I can't recall if he was Milli ... or Vanilli

Posted by: Callmelennie at September 3, 2011 2:43 PM

Horrifying. I am scarred.

Posted by: flannelputz at September 3, 2011 4:59 PM


Posted by: RedCarolina at September 3, 2011 4:59 PM

One more thing. How many of these people actually believe that the Blessed Virgin Mary comes to them when they find themselves in times of trouble, know what I'm saying?

Would it have been too much trouble to find just one practicing Catholic to join the chorus -- someone who actually believes in Mother Mary?

Posted by: Callmelennie at September 3, 2011 5:21 PM

Katarina Witt playing air guitar? Check.
David Faustino pointing his finger at you telling you to "Let it be!"

And the Seventh Seal was opened.....

Posted by: David at September 3, 2011 5:41 PM

It's some sort of Scandinavian talk show or entertainment show, and clearly they just got the guests to record the song separately in their studio as they showed up all year. Japanese commercials also tend to feature odd things that US and UK stars wouldn't do in the Anglosphere.

Also, it's several years old.

Posted by: Maureen O'Brien at September 3, 2011 6:43 PM

Katerina Witt was WAYY more entertaining in 'Ronin'.
(She skated, and got whacked. Entire role.)

Posted by: ed in texas at September 3, 2011 6:51 PM

I had seen this before. I don't remember when. Maybe it was in a nightmare.

Posted by: Fat Man at September 3, 2011 8:38 PM

I have no idea who Maria McKee is, but she's kind of cute.

Posted by: rickl at September 3, 2011 10:17 PM

Yikes I watched it again. It seemed familiar ,now I remember I was smoking angel dust and saw this on Venice Beach. Then I drowned myself. And Peter Falk and Leslie Nielsen washed up on the beach with me and started singing.... Rikki Lake singing "in my hour of darkness..hour that's your whole life,Sickie...Kathleen Turner looks like she had a fatal attraction to twinkies and dingdongs ....Dolph Lundgren,hit him again Rocky, put him out of his misery. Somebody give Freddie Krueger a chainsaw or knife or whatever he used, the boy needs to get busy here..

Posted by: bill at September 3, 2011 10:22 PM

A blinding flash and a mushroom cloud is the perfect punctuation for that drivel. "Let it...glow!"

Posted by: Peccable at September 4, 2011 4:01 AM

With a master's degree in chemical engineering and a Fulbright scholarship to MIT under his belt, I tend to cut Dolph some major slack. But yeah, the video is for sure some kind of crazy.

Posted by: goldenwest at September 4, 2011 6:59 AM

I think Bill's got the backbeat on this one.

Posted by: vanderleun at September 4, 2011 8:14 AM

Where's Sam Kinison when you need him.

Posted by: Cond0010 at September 4, 2011 8:52 AM

Kinnison's in Hell, screaming out for Mother Mary, no doubt.

Posted by: Jewel at September 4, 2011 9:38 AM

Huh...gee Jewel... I didn't see him in the video...

Note about Osama Bin Laden:

"Day One. Now Only Eternity -1 To Go. Hang in There!" (tm)

Posted by: Cond0010 at September 4, 2011 10:45 AM

I for one was the achievement of the sound engineers!

Posted by: Mike at September 4, 2011 12:11 PM

Yes, it is Hell on earth. Look at the changes in our idols. Do they see it? Real Hell is: They don't see it and the rest of us do.

Posted by: Bill at September 4, 2011 1:50 PM

Thank goodness its just another Scandinavian pop atrocity. I was afraid this was going to be an Obama campaign commercial.

Posted by: Randomizer at September 4, 2011 9:49 PM

It's not my inner contrarian, I promise, but I found it... uplifiting. I'm going to go watch it again, haters.

Posted by: Casca at September 5, 2011 7:50 AM

. . . I'm just sayin' . . . .

Posted by: twodawg at December 17, 2011 4:03 PM