January 10, 2005

It's Happydale for the Democrats

hillaryhighthere.jpgdan_rather_adesk.jpg
Dream Team, 2008

Since the election, I've been waiting for my once beloved Democratic Party to get its act together. Well, it has, but the act seems to be Arsenic and Old Abu Gharib complete with the Teddy Roosevelt character played by Ted Kennedy, and the loony Aunts ably acted by Barbara Boxer and Cynthia McKinney.

Having played Mortimer Brewster in my high school senior play, I remember well that sending the lovable uncle and aunts off to the bughouse was the only way to stop them from burying the bodies of nice liberal gentlemen (from New England) in their basement.

I love the Democrats deeply -- even if I felt I finally had to break ranks with them over the silly little issue of "The Future of America." Mortimer loves his batty aunts and I still love the batty Democrats. Alas, I have to confess that I'm ready to do the paperwork that will send them all off to Happydale for the duration. Let's face it, the Democrats have just gone to their own private banana

plantation, little red choo-choo round the bend, sandwiches short of a picnic, nice house -- no furniture, etc. Like many others, I'm tired of taking sharp implements away from them and baby-proofing the Party. Not only that, but their craziness is starting to repeat to the extent that their manias are becoming boring. Their old folk tunes still have a certain lilt, but they really have to put down the banjo and quit bobbing back and forth in the rocker all day. Danger to selves? Check. Danger to others? Check and double-check.

Let's review just a few of their obsessive-compulsive, paranoid, schizophrenic, delusional behaviors that we've seen recently:

And so it goes.

There have been boatloads of psychoanalytical articles about what the Democrats need to do to regain sanity They will, alas, heed none of them. Instead, they will persist in their dementia. They can do no other.

They've been drinking too long and too deeply from their own brand of high-proof Purity. They can't taper off and they can't walk away because they have, quite simply, not bottomed out. They are blind drunk on bile.

And because they are blind drunk, they cannot see that the glass is neither half-full nor half-empty. It is, quite simply, empty and as fast as they try to fill it, it all just evaporates away.

As a political party, the Democrats have nothing new to offer and so cycle back to the 'glorious days of yesteryear.' But America is not about yesteryear but about tomorrow. Nothing we've seen since the election shows us that the Democrats understand that. Too bad. I liked them a lot once. They had some great ideals.

Still, I'm filing the paperwork and calling for the padded wagon. As Mortimer Brewster sings, "There is a Happydale, far, far away..."

Posted by Vanderleun at January 10, 2005 11:49 AM
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Excellent!

And you didn't even mention "the party of abortion on demand" or "no school vouchers".

Is Terry MCAuliffe the Peter Lorre character in your scenario?

Posted by: chris at January 10, 2005 12:39 PM

Appropriate. In my more cynical mood, it seems more like the plant in the Little Shop of Horrors...

Posted by: P.A. Breault at January 10, 2005 5:07 PM

A lot of people do not realize that the Democrat party has changed. It is no longer the party of Jack and Bobby. It is now the party of Teddy. Compare Jack and Teddy's response to ocean-based incidents and you'll see a clear difference.

I'm glad I figured it out realatively early in life. (age 22).

People still clinging to the glory days of the Democrat party remind me of the guy at the high school reunion still wearing his letterman's jacket.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at January 10, 2005 9:49 PM

If the Democrats are not careful they will go the way of the Whigs. What, you don't remember the party of William Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor? My point exactly.

Posted by: Philomathean at January 10, 2005 9:54 PM

CHARGE!!! into the margins.

Posted by: Steel Turman at January 10, 2005 10:19 PM

Now, that's funny.

Posted by: Van der Leun at January 10, 2005 10:29 PM

Wonderful Gerard,

Like you I'm a Dem who found himself in a room with a bunch of crazy people shouting "it's all about oil," who seized on the mistakes inevitable to momentous events as signs of conspiracy, etc. I backed out of the room, not slowly but fast, and I've stayed out. I too shake my head and wonder what happened to this group of people not without talent and the capacity to dream. I can only conclude that G.W. Bush stoled their thunder. He stands for freedom and liberation and for quashing the forces of darkness. The Dems would rather throw in with the forces of darkness than admit how much W has done them the better.

Posted by: Doug Anderson at January 11, 2005 10:03 AM

the democrats are becoming more and more unhinged, as all of their old plays lose their effectiveness. i don't think most people expect genuine morality from their politicians, but they do expect a basic level of competence. and this is the fundamental problem for democrats -- they are grotesquely incompetent. if anyone can identify a place where democrats are doing a good job, please do so. the recent ejection of two derelict govenors (cali and nj) are good examples of what i am talking about. look at two of the institutions where democrats still hold sway: govt employees and teachers unions...not exactly exemplars of quality. sometimes i listen to this hard-left radio station (kpfk?) for grins; the sheer amateurishness of it is appalling. the palpable air of superiority, by guests and staff, is what makes it so funny to listen to. this same phenomena occurred with the hitler youth; they were so useless and so insufferably self-righteous, that the other nazis complained about them. a neat trick if you think about it :)

Posted by: arklroy at January 14, 2005 10:31 PM