December 14, 2009

The New Apostles Creed: "I believe in the Holy Goric Church"


Have you noticed a subtle shift among some of the acolytes of the Holy Church of Global Warming Climate Change? I have.

In the wake of the scam's exposure -- and the collapse of the Holy See of "Climate Science" from a god to a cult -- many of the faithful have begun to hedge their bets, their Pascalian wagers, on the received truth of "Global Warming." Many have begun to admit, yes, there is something to the idea that the "scientists" at Hadley CRU are a bunch of criminal liars, data cheats, and self-aggrandizing charlatans.... but (and there is always this but) the "prudent" thing to do is to act as if the hoax is true. And it is very important to these acolytes that the disclaimer is always presented in the clear, usually in its own paragraph, so it can be cited in case there's trouble from the faithful.

Case in point.

This morning Clive Crook wrote, in passing, in Trust the public on climate change

I recognize the consensus and believe it justifies, on prudential grounds, a big effort to curb emissions. But the climate-science establishment is making itself an obstacle. [Emphasis added]

To his credit, Crook was an early doubting Thomas in the Science Scandal of the Age, writing earlier this month at the Atlantic in Climategate and credibility: an epistemic detour:

Some are happy to go even further than that, and tell you, on or off the record, that the main thing is to get the public scared enough to act. Exaggerate for the public good. Propaganda becomes the responsible scientist's duty. Whatever it takes, including cooking the books. A question to keep Tyler entertained would be: is that dishonorable behavior?
Nevertheless, it is interesting to see that although he has had the conversion experience he's missed the meaning. Crook knows the Church of Globalony Warming is a false church raised up on a shoal of lies, but he also knows that apostates and heretics will still suffer personally and professionally if they do not, when condemning a few rash scientists, also reaffirm their faith in the essential and eternal truths of the Church.

It's a coward's conversion; one that implicitly props up the proposal that inside a large lie is a "greater truth."

In short, Crook knows in his bones that the whole enterprise is crooked, but he can't yet risk a break. Things might just turn around and then his party and job invitations might just take a turn for the worst. After all, look how effective the Hadley CRU team was at denting and destroying the careers of any who bucked them for decades.

It's as if Crook is saying, "I don't believe in this bullshit but I still believe in the Church of Globalony Warming. I'm going to prove it with a disclaimer that stresses the 'prudence' of doing what the crooks say anyway. They lied. Economies died. But, as Gore is my witness, my career shall not become an endangered species."

I'll make it easy for compromised "intellectuals" like Crook. Here's your new and improved Globalony Warming Apostles' Creed. Just insert it in your signature and bio and anything honest you say about the scam will be forgiven:

I believe in Gore, the Bullshitter Almighty,
the Maker of Global and Warming,
and in Climate Change, his latest line of bullshit, our graven image:

Which was conceived by the CRU,
born of the Michael Mann,
suffered under Hadley Hacker,
was crucified, dead, and buried under CRU emails;

It descended into global freezing hell.

The third week Climate Change arose again from the dead in Copenhagen;

The fraud, the hoax and the bullshit ascended into the heaven of infinite carbon credits,
and sitteth on the right hand of Gore the Bullshitter Almighty;
from thence Climate Change shall come to rule and rape and pillage the third and the first world nations.

I believe in the Climate Change;
the holy Goric church;
the communion of consensus science;
the indulgences of carbon credits;
the resurrection of the Global Warming;
and the taxes everlasting.


UPDATE: Middle class twit of the year Tony Blair chimes in with his "disclaimer":
“Therefore, even purely as a matter of precaution, given the seriousness of the consequences if such a view is correct, and the time it will take for action to take effect, we should act. Not to do so would be grossly irresponsible.”

Posted by Vanderleun at December 14, 2009 5:55 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

This AGW conspiracy stuff is enough to make one nutty. Have we all heard that people in Hopenchangin are *fasting* and holding *candlelight vigils*? People are starving themselves! I can't help but put these AGW cultists up against the turtles, dolphins and whales beaching themselves on Cape Cod because of the hard winter. The great die-off begins and in this inverted world, the animals make more sense than the humans. Or maybe that's always been the way, as the animals know they are not God.

It's a well-worn Chesterton quote for a reason..."When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing - they believe in anything." Including and especially the noble lie.

Posted by: Western Chauvinist at December 14, 2009 7:52 AM

Absolutely superb rewrite of The Apostles Creed. It should be posted in every public space.

Posted by: WolfDog at December 14, 2009 8:24 AM

It's as though the earth doesn't have a molten core that can swallow up all of our earthly population and endeavors and not even feel a hitch of indigestion.

I posit that you could put the combined population of the U.S. and all of its cars, emissions, exhalations and factory generated pollutants from the year 1800 until today, into the Gulf of Mexico and it wouldn't change the Gulf Stream's temperature for more than a week.

And, heck, if the warming is actually, y'know, Global, then why do we need so many data stations and variables? One thermometer in Sahara oughtta tell us the same thing as one in remotest Alaska. It's either global warming or a local feature.

And what will we do when the earth's core entropy is measurable?

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at December 14, 2009 8:35 AM

Nihil Obstat, With Imprimatur, by Pope Algory (Algorivs, Episcopvs Terranvs). Gaia Vobiscvm. Non teabagitimi carborundum.

Posted by: Richard Lund at December 14, 2009 10:42 AM

And here I was thinking he really needs a pompous Latin title. I wish I knew enough to translate the rest of this.

Sanctus Albertus Magnus Gore, Prophet of climate change, Malleus (hammer) of climate change heretics and digital brown shirts, Martyr to Republican vote fraudsters, Mega-hypocrite.

Posted by: Jim C. at December 14, 2009 4:01 PM

"Even purely as a matter of precaution, given the seriousness of the consequences if liberals really do destroy the world's economy, we should drop them all into a large vat of raw sewage. Not to do so would be grossly irresponsible.”

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at December 14, 2009 6:52 PM

That punch they're serving over there better not have any cyanide in it...

My goodness... They're way beyond lost. One of these days...

Posted by: newton at December 14, 2009 10:49 PM

Globaloney!...too funny!

Your Apostle Creed remake is classic.

Posted by: Patty at December 15, 2009 7:47 AM