June 11, 2008

Everything You Really Need to Know About Obama in One Sentence

"Our beloved country, freedom's last redoubt, civilization's only power capable of resisting the advancing tide of barbarism, keep of Castle Earth, is seriously contemplating elevating to the presidency Barack Obama, an effete academic weakling, a messianic soothsayer, perfervid followers in tow, who believes America's collective soul is broken and that He has been called to mend it, a caricature Euro Statist whose voting record and public utterances reflect passionate belief in all the discredited far leftist critiques of America (and their attendant fixes), a dreamy naif with a permanently adolescent world view born of lifelong refusal to work in the real world, a thinly disguised leftist revolutionary who for decades eagerly immersed himself in a vile crowd of crypto-Marxists, quislings, racists, domestic terrorists, and antisemites, and who now simply says, calm as you please, he never really shared their views, a twenty-eight carat tyro whose resume of accomplishments would fit neatly on the back of a Visa card, a man whose scary wife (whom the candidate himself seems to fear) dislikes the country that has showered her with great good fortune." - American Thinker: Obama and his Next Goal
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Posted by Vanderleun at June 11, 2008 9:48 AM | TrackBack
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I love distillation when it's very elegantly done. Whether the final product is a great Bourbon or the clearest and hardest-hitting of prose, the effect on the mind and body is the same.

I think I'll memorize that sentence tonight while sipping bourbon in my barcalounger.

Posted by: Roderick Reilly at June 11, 2008 10:18 AM

Fabulous. But the real show would be to see J. E. Pennington read this sentence aloud, a capella, without pausing for breath.

Posted by: Mike Anderson at June 11, 2008 11:55 AM

Absolutely Faulkneresque.

Posted by: neoneocon at June 11, 2008 12:23 PM

I'd go with Pater or Woolf instead.

Oh, and dead-on as well.

Posted by: ken at June 11, 2008 1:49 PM

Slamdunk! I am so stealing this...

Posted by: Obi's Sister at June 11, 2008 6:42 PM

I want to know how he really feels.

Posted by: Eric Blair at June 11, 2008 6:42 PM

I look forward to dancing on his political grave this November.

Posted by: Miss Orange at June 11, 2008 7:34 PM

Never had a real job? I beg to differ. You try being married to Michelle.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at June 11, 2008 8:23 PM

Roderick Reilly,

Kentucky Bourbon, I keep a "national emergency" size inventory, especially some single barrel offerings. Here's a little info on "Bourbon", something American Michelle should be proud of:

"For a whiskey to qualify as bourbon, the law--by international agreement--stipulates that it must be made in the USA. It must be made from at least 51% and no more than 79% Indian corn, and aged for at least two years. (Most bourbon is aged for four years or more.) The barrels for aging can be made of any kind of new oak, charred on the inside. Nowadays all distillers use American White Oak, because it is porous enough to help the bourbon age well, but not so porous that it will allow barrels to leak. It must be distilled at no more than 160 proof (80% alcohol by volume). Nothing can be added at bottling to enhance flavor or sweetness or alter color. The other grains used to make bourbon, though not stipulated by law, are malted barley and either rye or wheat. Some Kentucky bourbon makers claim that the same limestone spring water that makes thoroughbred horses' bones strong gives bourbon whiskey its distinctive flavor."

My Grandpappy would say that corn belongs on the dinner plate or in the drinking glass, but politicians are cornering the market for other uses, like fueling b.s. machines.

A description of Obama that can fit on the back of a business card will not age as well as our bourbons. Obamamessiah Kool-Aid drinkers will find him more distasteful as November approaches, since he's trying to sell aged-racism in new "friendly to Michelle's children" bottles. It's "The Corn" that gives Obama his distinctive aroma and flavor, creating a generation of Obamaholics, along with that thing he does with water, but mostly "The Corn".

Posted by: twolaneflash at June 12, 2008 10:24 AM

... and a short, punchy sentence to boot! I like it.

Posted by: sherlock at June 12, 2008 7:13 PM
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