January 21, 2005

How to Tell If the Internet is Supplanting Legacy Media in Your Life

For one week, keep careful track on a 3x5 card of how many times the following things happen:

1) Times you say "You effing idiot!" to your television and punch at the remote while asking your spouse, "Okay, I get that Alan Colmes is Laurel but does that mean...?"

2) Times you say "You effing idiot!" when reading the Op-Ed page in your newspaper, roll it up and hit the dog.

3) Times you say "You effing idiot!" to your car radio, hit scan and settle on Dr. Laura.

4) Times you say "You effing idiot!" while scanning cover lines of magazines at the news stand, and take the change out of the blind newsie's cup as a "fine."

5) Times you say "You effing idiot!" during the final 5 minutes of the 40 minute infomercial before the $9.00 movie starts at your local multiplex and set a fire in the men's room's paper towel bin.

6) Times you say "You effing idiot!" when passing a person sporting a blue wrist band on the street in such a way that you have to explain yourself to the officer with the camera crew from COPS standing behind him.

7) Times you say "You effing idiot!" to monitor, hit the comment button and log-in under bl0m0i@youeffingidiot.com.

If, at the end of the week, the number of "7" is greater than the total of items 1 through 6, you have left legacy media behind. Congratulations.

Posted by Vanderleun at January 21, 2005 7:39 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Yeah okay, but what did the dog do wrong?

Posted by: Steel Turman at January 21, 2005 8:24 PM

Damn, and I thought it was just me!

An informal survey here at my workplace shows that many individuals are "offline" when it comes to legacy media. At least with blogs there's always the "back" button, and someone with just a hint more motivation to Fisk the idiots here. (Not as in American Digest, unless you count the troll comments.)

Posted by: Stephen B at January 21, 2005 8:28 PM

I'm old and cranky, I'll admit, but I haven't watched network news in fifteen years or more. I used to scan the NYT and then WaPo on line, but I've stopped. Didn't want to give them my meager web hit. I've even stopped calling Alan Colmes an effing idiot. It got redundant.

But I still get the dead tree version of the National Review. I just can't seem to break the habit.

Posted by: Old Dad at January 22, 2005 9:39 AM