February 24, 2010

Tempest in a D-Cup: Bikini Barista Crackdown!

"Coffee, tea or me?"

And now for some local Northwest color wherein X marks the spots: Puyallup bikini barista charged with exposure

TACOMA, Wash. - Pierce County prosecutors filed a charge of unlawful public exposure against a 19-year-old barista accused of wearing only a thong bottom and X-shaped pasties on her breasts.
Prosecutors filed the misdemeanor charge Tuesday against the woman who worked at the Bikini Bottoms espresso stand in Puyallup.
A passer-by had complained last October about seeing the woman topless. When a sheriff's deputy went to investigate the woman went to the back of the stand, took off the pasties and put on a bikini top.
The News Tribune of Tacoma reports the deputy confiscated the pasties as evidence.
Hands-on evidence collection! We expect no less from our local constables. I want to have the video tape running in the courtroom when the DA rises to place them into evidence, and the defense attorney says, "If the pasties fit you must acquit!"

Still, a quick scan of the news tells us that Bikini Barista Espresso stories are more than just a handful. In fact these stands seem to be busting out all over and, on ocassion, being busted in return as the bikini baristas try to make the breast of a bad situation.

Personally, I don't give a hooter, but there are various groups around the area who are concerned that limits be set and are determined to take the issue well in hand to see that some of these bikini boobs spend some nights in the jugs.

In the one hand, here's a stand that puts a whole new meaning into espresso con panna and makes it clear we're not just dealing with some trial baloons but a billabonging bumpers crop of dairy pillows:

In the other hand. What goes around, comes around, and around, and around:

The question remains, in terms of the "my cups runneth over-saturated" espresso industry in the Seattle area, whether or not a crack-down on the Bikini baristas will cause these recession-stressed businesses to go tits-up.


Posted by Vanderleun at February 24, 2010 7:40 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

They'll never make it stick.


Posted by: jwm at February 24, 2010 8:06 PM

I trust you'll keep us abreast of any new developments.

Posted by: Dennis at February 24, 2010 8:26 PM

The water was 220 degrees?

Can you even get water that hot? Also, that seems like leaving oneself exposed (har!) to a possible charge of assault. With civil actions and medical bills. I'd say no thanks, but whatever.

Posted by: Morgan K Freeberg at February 24, 2010 9:32 PM

One of these bikini stands was robbed a few months ago. The owner was able to call the police because he was at his house monitoring the stand through a "security camera" and just happened to be watching (strictly for safety reasons, of course) and saw the robbery take place. I'm glad that the girls can feel safe knowing that the boss is always watching.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at February 24, 2010 9:58 PM

Has anyone noticed the typical local news slogan at the end of the report?

"See it anytime, anywhere"

What's next, female butchers dancing on a pole of beef?

Posted by: at February 25, 2010 3:21 AM

I think your title to the post, in order to be more in line with the accompanying photo, should read "Tempest in a B-cup." Nice pink Xs, though.

Posted by: John Venlet at February 25, 2010 5:26 AM

RE: "Coconut Cupcake Dousing Barista". When a filly feels ill-used or unfairly treated she is not unlikely to give tit for tat.

Posted by: Mizz E at February 25, 2010 8:38 AM

Gerard: You are old enough to know better.
John: Not even

Posted by: Fat Man at February 25, 2010 9:12 AM

Thanks for the mammaries

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at February 25, 2010 12:36 PM