I would not feel so all alone, / Everybody must get stoned.
"If religion is the opiate of the people, marijuana is the new religion."
Gentlemen, start your bongs! Today it was announced that the Obama administration "will not seek to arrest medical marijuana users and suppliers as long as they conform to state laws, under new policy guidelines to be sent to federal prosecutors Monday".... and because it's cool!.... and because it takes us a step closer to legalizing (and taxing) a very profitable cash crop.... and because, in the America of the very near future you're going to have to be very, very stoned not to see how deeply you're being screwed.... and because stoned people, if they can get off the couch, tend to vote for their pushers.
And also because the Obama is a stoner and wants to get some fine ganja growing in Michelle's garden. That way he can take up smoking again and have everybody say, "It's okay. It's only some fine White House chronic, not tobacco." Wanna bet?
American Digest saw this coming in the middle of last December....
Vintage Postcard, 1969
Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun.
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker -
Steve Miller, The Joker
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for a little toke every now and then. Somewhere legal, like, man, say in Amsterdam. Not that I see, smell, or smoke the "Devil's weed wherein lurks murder, insanity, death" frequently, if at all, any more. I don't look for it, but if some smouldering spliff comes my way, well....
All the same as a (reformed) card-carrying member of the original Berkeley/Haight Hippies, I have had my share of smoke so powerful it could, as we once said, cause "the baby Jesus to open your mind and shut your mouth." I have been in rooms in Paris where the leaders of the Columbia student protests of 1968 stuffed up all the windows and doors of a cheap hotel room and lit an entire kilo on fire. And then we all stood in the smoke until it drove us out of the room. I've known people who smuggled 5 keys of Afghan hash into the country disguised as a carved wooden table. We worked on that one with a cabinet-maker's plane for about six months. I've done radio shows where the fans would mail us joints to make the music that much more interesting. I've sat on a floor with a man so stoned and yet so adept that he took about twenty papers and rolled, perfectly, an entire orange right down to the twisted ends. I've been to the Cannabis Cup in Amsterdam. Twice. I can't even talk about the entire front garden of weed that we accidently planted in Venice, California. It grew to about six feet tall before anybody got straight enough to notice it wasn't "calendula." We hung the plants head down in the garage for a month waiting for them to dry. We spent a lot of time in that garage. We wired it for sound.
Now when your throat get dry
And you know you're high
Everything is dandy
Truck on down to your candy store
Get you kicks off peppermint candy
Then you'll know your bodies set
You don't give a damn about payin' no rent
Well you hear the bells ring, ding dong ding
If you're a viper
-- Wayne Hancock - Viper [Soundtrack HERE. ]
Come to think of it, I've probably had more than my share. That's why I know, I say, I KNOW, a viper when I see one. And this young man is having a viper moment.
Frame One: "Have another hit."
[I know that various Obombers are blathering that it's "only tobacco" -- but you know they're lying. Either that or this kid is the most effete smoker since before Candy Darling was a pre-op. C'mon, Obamoids, fess up. Who holds a cig like that? Sissys and weirdos. Who holds a joint like that? Everybody. And... oh yes... here and below: 'Watch the eyes. They tell a story.']
Frame Two: "Feel the Buzz"
[You take a hit and then you hold your breath, right? All young vipers have that moment when the smoke hits your backbrain and makes you just, well, vague-out before coming to terms with your altered state. This is an exceptional expression of just such a moment.]
Frame Three: The 10-Second Nod
[You're still holding your breath since, hey, this shit costs money and you need to get the full benefit. Problem is that you not only need dope, you need air. This conflict causes you to take a short nap as you try to keep it all in. In drug lingo, you go "on the nod."]
Frame Four:"How sweet it is."
[Here we have a President who not only inhales, he exhales. And it's a relief -- as you can see -- because now with the buzz embedded in the brain you can get back to breathing.]
Frame Five: "Did you ever, like, notice how your hand moves when you want it to, man?"
[Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about. That frisson, that mellow warmth oozing through your limbs, that quiet riot in the backbrain, that slow, infinitely profound question forming: "Do... we... have... any... ice cream? And if... there is.... also chocolate sauce does that prove God exists, or what?"]
Frame Six: The Happy World
[In which we are assured that there is ice cream and chocolate sauce.]
Frame Seven: "How stoned am I? Look into my eyes, dude. I mean, man, check it out. This is visionary weed, man. I can see, see the future. I see myself as, whoa, President of the United States, man. How far out is that? Hey, don't bogart that...."
Now I hear all you non-vipers, you "we don't do no chronic, no how" dope-virgins, all saying, "Uncle Gerard, how do you know?" I know because I KNOW. And all my fellow vipers, active or in retirement, know the same thing.
The good news here is that, maybe, the Federal Government will get out of the War on Dope and concentrate on crack, coke, and crank. The bad news is that the Federal Government may get into the cultivation and distribution of "Official" weed. If they do, it will be the methadone of marijuana: You won't get sick. You won't get high. You'll just stay on it.
Of course, Americans would never, ever abuse this freedom. Would they? No, marijuana would be used for purely medical reasons:
And while we can expect more of this from school teachers...
.... we can expect less of this from the media:
In 1980, when Obama was a freshman at Occidental College in Los Angeles, he was approached by an aspiring photographer named Lisa Jack, who asked him if he would be willing to pose for some black and white photographs that she could use in her portfolio. --Obama: The College Years - Photo Essays - TIMEPosted by Vanderleun at October 19, 2009 11:14 AM
Dylan's "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35" was one of the (unofficial) theme songs of the US Army's 709th Military Police Battalion in Offenbach, Germany, when I was stationed there in 1966 -- nice to see the song getting the recognition it deserves! :-)
Shweeet!
Best move the Kanamit in Chief has done yet.
He just re-won the full support of his most loyal constituency...Now he's gotta figure out how to lure them away from the microwaved burritos for long enough to vote.
Perhaps a new stimulants package?
Posted by: monkeyfan at October 19, 2009 7:45 PMUnaddressed here, but no doubt a major consideration, is the positive effect of being stoned when your official bedmate is a Klingon ...
Posted by: askmom at October 19, 2009 7:51 PMFinally, some sense in this country's insane War on (Some) Drugs.
"Obama OKs getting stoned"?? Like we should have to get the government's permission to do with our own damned selves as we please?
Now, if only the Obamatrons would sign up for a generally libertarian program, instead of the generally totalitarian one they're pursuing......
Fat chance, that.
Hale Adams
Pikesville, People's Democratic Republic of Maryland
Pot is OK, but Cloves? Sorry, we gotta bogart that kretek.
It's for your own good, children. Now stop complaining a pay your taxes, unless you don't pay any, then cash the check instead.
Posted by: The Count at October 20, 2009 3:42 PMIt's the proper Conservative decision.
Posted by: Lynn at October 21, 2009 2:23 PM
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