February 9, 2015

Updated: There's No Stopping the Brian Williams Testimonials Now!

A lie which shall live in infamy!

By our Infamous commenter Mumblix Grumph

HT top vid: Never Yet Melted]

Posted by gerardvanderleun at February 9, 2015 12:31 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

So there I was. Reporting at Pearl Harbor, Dec. 7 1941. I was interviewing a Navy Captain, when we heard airplane engines off in the distance. Suddenly, swarms of Jap planes were flying over the harbor. Ships began exploding as the Zeros dropped their bombs. The Navy Captain and I exchanged a look and a nod. We broke into a sprint and jumped onto his ship. He began yelling orders to his crew while I got behind the .50 cal machine guns and began shooting. I must have downed at least fifteen enemy planes as we steamed out of the harbor. We had just hit open water as a German U-Boat surfaced. A squad of Nazi frogmen carrying swords leaped aboard ship. I didn’t turn my guns on them lest I hit an innocent American sailor, so I jumped on the deck and began punching the Krauts with the boxing skills I had learned at Yale. I grabbed a sword from a downed German and swung on a rope slashing and stabbing Nazi’s until they retreated back on to the U-Boat and submerged like the cowards they were. 'Master Race!' I laughed as they slipped below the surface. The Navy Captain patted me on the shoulder and we went below deck for a drink. Sitting in the galley was a wild-haired man who introduced himself as Albert Einstein. He was working on a math problem. I took a look at it and simplified it to E=mc2. He hugged me and wept with joy. Then I took a napkin and sketched out an idea I had for a nuclear fission bomb. Soon after that I was put in charge of the Manhattan Project, but that’s a story for another day.

I’m Brian Williams reporting.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at February 9, 2015 5:24 PM

I, for one, hope that Brian Williams is retained as the anchorman of NBC Nightly News and the face of NBC's News Division for many long and healthy years.

I also hope that the American people see that face, remember his lies, and know that every word that comes from the alphabet networks, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the rest of the mainstream media, is a lie, including, "and", and "the".

Posted by: Fat Man at February 9, 2015 9:17 PM

It turns out that lying brian williams began lying as a boy. He was robbed at gun point selling Christmas trees off a truck for a charity.

Shrillary lied about her sniper fire and still got to be a symbolic Secretary of State. John Kerry was really doing the job while she was drunk around the world with her "friend"Huma.

Posted by: A.Men at February 10, 2015 8:39 AM

Although it´s fun to mock and poke fun at Brian
Williams, NBC, and libs in general none of that really gets their
attention. Do you want to get their attention? Quit buying their
product. NBC is owned by Comcast. Dump Comcast if they´re your internet
and cable provider. Dump Progressive Insurance. Quit shopping at Whole
Foods. Hit them where it hurts

Posted by: Vichris at February 10, 2015 10:37 AM

Mumblix took my idea and did much better than I would have. Now THAT was funny!

Posted by: Snakepit Kansas at February 10, 2015 3:29 PM

The news would be more believable if the talking heads would just start by saying, "Once upon a time..."

Posted by: Jewel at February 11, 2015 8:09 AM