September 14, 2011

APOCALYPTO! The Porn Must Go On!

[Click to see the plan]

If you are worried that the little red choo-choo of our American culture might, just might, have jumped the tracks, fret no more. It has.

LA Porn Studio Begins Construction On 'Post-Apocalyptic' Underground Bunker « CBS Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES (CBS) -- A San Fernando Valley adult entertainment studio began construction this month on what it calls a 'post-apocalyptic'€ underground bunker in anticipation of a global catastrophe rumored to take place in late 2012.
A spokesman for Van Nuys-based Pink Visual said the bunker will be "far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave" with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio. [Gun racks too along with other racks.]
"Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury,"€ said Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, "whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above."
It is truly said that there really are "no people like show people."

Which leaves us with the burning question:

Hats off to showfolks,
For smiling when they're blue,
But more comme il faut folks
Are sick of smiling through.
And if you're out cold,
Too old,
And most of your teeth have gone,

Why must the show go on?
I sometimes wonder,
Why must the show go on?

Posted by Vanderleun at September 14, 2011 11:22 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Did they stockpile the Gardasil? I mean, with the burning and all.

Posted by: Jewel at September 15, 2011 12:57 AM

I'm not sure why they're doing this in LA. I mean, if the big one hits, won't LA be under water? That will flood their air holes (I'm assuming they intend to bring air from the surface).


Posted by: Waidmann at September 15, 2011 4:06 AM

They appear to assuming that the power will stay on?..Not a good bet at any time in SoCal
(Why do I have the mental image of the nitwits on the tops of the buildings in 'Independence Day'?)

Posted by: ed in texas at September 15, 2011 4:19 AM

When the apocalypse comes down they'll be closer to Hell if the elevators go out.

Posted by: bill at September 15, 2011 10:43 AM


Remember how people sometimes say "To some people George Orwell's 1984 is a novel, to others it's a How-To manual"? In this case I think it's appropriate to say "To some people Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove is a comedy, to others it's a blueprint for survivalism".

General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

Posted by: mmack at September 15, 2011 12:22 PM

Well, at least we'll still have porn after the SHTF.

Does this mean that's one less thing I have to worry about stockpiling?

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