August 21, 2006

Liberalosis: A Disease Killing and Crippling Millions of Our Fellow Americans

"Remember, only you
can prevent Liberalosis"

EXHIBIT A: "It's become folly for people to go on about how they would kill Hitler if they could go back into time or kill someone like him if they saw him gaining too much popularity.So if these people are to be believed:What the F**k is George W. Bush doing alive?Why hasn't somebody killed this idiot yet and made the world safer? "--Hitler Redoux [sic] by "The Voice Of Reason" at Independent Media Center

Liberalosis is a psychiatric classification for a mental state in which the perception of political reality is distorted.

Persons experiencing a "Liberal episode" may experience hallucinations (often Clintonesque or Deantastic hallucinations), hold paranoid hate of the United States and/or its President or delusional beliefs in Utopia, and exhibit disorganized thinking such as " would be better to let America's enemies strike first", and "...a Democrat can be elected President by promising to raise taxes and pin a big "Kick Me" sign on America." This is often accompanied by a lack of insight into the unusual or bizarre nature of their behaviour and a compulsion to give money to any number of Democratic losers.

Liberalosis is one of the symptoms of severe political illness such as Deanophrenia and metrosexual disorder (manic gender confusion in hope of votes). It may also occur in severe cases of out-of-power depression, self-inflicted brain injury, decades of bong overdose or unusual negative reaction to political drugs (particularly Ecologine and hallucinogenic drugs such as Sharptonine or Hillaryine), or extreme personal stress brought on by six to ten gender reassignments. Liberalosis triggered by stress in the absence of any other mental illness is known as brief reactive Liberalosis and can be soothed by electing a local interior decorator dogcatcher.

The term Liberalosis should be distinguished from the concept of "drooling and raving local lunatic with a handmade sign demanding the repeal of human nature", which is a legal term denoting that a person should not be criminally responsible for his actions and retain his vote for homecoming queens in beards. It should be distinguished from the state of Paralytic Democrat, in that a Democrat may be able to perform actions that require a high level of intellectual effort, such as appealing for funds for his local PBS station in a haughty but whining tone. Finally, it should be distinguished from political illness. Persons with Demophrenia can have long periods without Liberalosis and persons with metrosexual disorder and anti-Bush obsession can have mood symptoms without Liberalosis. Conversely, Liberalosis can occur in persons without mental illness as a result of drinking three-quarts of saturated bong water or a sudden and violent threeway with Bill and Hillary Clinton at the Aspen Institute.

Etymology: The word Liberalosis comes from the Geek Liberthrall (whackjob) and osis (diseased or abnormal political condition). It is believed the word was first coined by American Digest in 2003 and is derived from the term Bushophobia.

Posted by Vanderleun at August 21, 2006 12:35 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

The only reliable assesment of an educational system is how well it prepares children for the world as it is. Any educational system that consistently produces adults who are disfunctional and incapable can only be assessed as a failure.

More and more large corporations are deciding they will not pay to provide corrective education for disfunctional applicants. Thus, thanks to our education system, our underclass grows with every product of a faulty education. An underclass less able to get itself out of the muck and mire than any other underclass in history. An underclass more obsessed with perceived inequities and injustice, more prone to makes demands of government and society, instead of taking the initiative and getting themselves out of the gutter.

There will come a day when graduates will go straight from the university to the streets. On that day let us hope we have the wisdom to finally acknowledge the damage the education establishment, under the influence of Liberalosis, has done to our children.

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at August 21, 2006 12:04 PM

Hillary with red pupils. If only I could see clearly through the hot cocoa now spewed all over the computer screen.

Posted by: askmom at August 21, 2006 12:21 PM

Bravo. You've beaten Gagdad, Dr.Sanity, Shrinkwrapped and the Sigmund guys to the punch in giving us a simple term that rolls off the tongue and says it all.

Liberalosis! Could be put to the music of "Maria" for a new version of the classic.
"East Side Story", oh, the possiblities.

Posted by: larwyn at August 21, 2006 1:12 PM

Also known as Progressive Personality Disorder.

Posted by: Petey at August 21, 2006 1:20 PM

...a sudden and violent threeway with Bill and Hillary Clinton at the Aspen Institute.

Eeeuw. Now I need to use mental floss.

Posted by: rickl at August 21, 2006 8:47 PM