February 2, 2015

"This Buds [Not] For You:"Attention Organic Sustainable Artisan Hipster Beer Brewers! Sit Down and Shut Up!

"Let them sip their pumpkin peach ale, we'll be brewing us some golden suds."

On an impulse I ordered a Budweiser with a burger just last week for the first time in years. Crisp, clean, smooth, simple, thirst-quenching, and surprisingly good.

Plus they got the Clydesdales.

And they also have puppies.

Better still they have Clydesdales AND puppies, and great 60 second stories....

Posted by gerardvanderleun at February 2, 2015 12:21 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

The guy can pull cases and cases of Bud out of his station wagon because it's cheap, mass-produced crap, just this side of Hamm's Hell.

Posted by: OttoG at February 2, 2015 5:32 PM

I don't drink often but when I do I go across the road and latch on to a pint of apple pie from Kentucky.
The real shit, not that swill from the store.

Posted by: ghostsniper at February 2, 2015 6:28 PM

I had my wife pick up a six-pack, and Gerard's right: it's excellent.

Posted by: StephenB at February 2, 2015 7:23 PM

What's the difference between Bud, and piss?
Fifteen minutes and an eight-figure ad budget.

Posted by: Skorpion at February 2, 2015 7:31 PM

A glass of water would have been "Crisp, clean, smooth, simple, thirst-quenching" too. Oh wait - that's more or less what you had. :)

Posted by: Fletcher Christian at February 3, 2015 1:50 AM

Major beers even the Buds are full of 'conjuners'. Additives and left over microscopic crap. They never disclose ALL that goes into the mass produced sludge. Crisp or not it's got crap floating in it that deposits somewhere in your body. German beers adhere to a strict regulated brewing process that omits ALL the crap. You don't feel arthritic the next day! Bud and a couple of others use RICE in their process..and certain people that gives splitting headaches after consumption. I'll pass. Pass me the Heineken.

Posted by: JoeDaddy at February 3, 2015 3:29 AM

Gosh, Gerard! You've got the beer snobs up in arms. You've hurt their feelings.

Posted by: Ralph Kinney Bennett at February 3, 2015 4:44 AM

In general, German and Central European beers (and pale ales) are over-hopped to the point of toxicity. The best beers come from Belgium. Get yourself a sixpack of Corsendonck.

Posted by: bob sykes at February 3, 2015 4:46 AM

I liked the Snickers ad much better than the Budweiser commercial.

Schaefer's - America's oldest lager beer, since 1842!

Posted by: Snakepit Kansas at February 3, 2015 5:07 AM

After the second beer, beer's just beer. When you stock your party cooler, put a layer of hipster beers on top over a layer of "prestige" beers (MGD, Michelob, etc), and shore it all up with Buds, Coors, Keystones, and PBRs in the basement. Something for every species* of beer snob.

Of course, I heed She Who Must Be Obeyed: "Be a real man. Drink a porter."

* Really, SPECIES. These groups would never think of interbreeding.

Posted by: Mike Anderson at February 3, 2015 5:38 AM

Gotta love the Budweiser Clydesdales. They look elegant. They positively ooze Americana. They are an awesome capital investment. They can piss and fill the bottles which are then driven straight to the local pub!

Posted by: Repair_Man_Jack at February 3, 2015 5:59 AM

One of my o̶l̶d̶ girlfriends from my younger days always said she preferred a Griesedieck.

Posted by: BillH at February 3, 2015 6:58 AM

Carlsberg Elephant beer if you dare.
I challenge you to drink 6 and NOT get thrown in jail.

Posted by: ghostsniper at February 3, 2015 8:36 AM

Funny stuff.

Nothing beats Marcia Brady with ax-murderous intent. Fratricide stopped by chocolate nuggat. Don't get me started on on Jan.

Posted by: Casey Klahn at February 3, 2015 9:20 AM

It's my ISP. I don't double-click and I don't preview! dam!

Posted by: Casey Klahn at February 3, 2015 9:22 AM

Maybe it helped that I poured it into a Stella Artois glass, but it tasted just fine, and it didn't have to be at 32F, either.

Posted by: StephenB at February 3, 2015 10:06 AM

Have another, Casey.

Posted by: vanderleun at February 3, 2015 1:58 PM

I bet 100% of Bud drinkers vac their kids.

Posted by: Mhf at February 3, 2015 5:47 PM

The BEST beer I ever tasted was in a farmers tavern in Dewitt Iowa. It was a long necked Bud from St. Louis. Anything from elsewhere is just beer rentals.

Posted by: ignore amos at February 3, 2015 8:50 PM

dtmlmzc pusyougk

Posted by: hello at February 4, 2015 12:22 AM

OttoG: ANY beer you buy is "mass-produced crap". That includes the pinkie pointin' "craft beers" that Obama voters drink. Unless you are making your own it is "mas-produced".

Memo to you: No one likes a snob -- especially a narrow minded, arrogant snob.

Posted by: Ennis at February 4, 2015 5:28 PM

I used to have Hamm's and eggs for breakfast.

Posted by: USS Ben at February 5, 2015 7:16 AM

you do realize Heineken is not a German beer right?

Posted by: EriK at February 6, 2015 7:33 AM