March 2, 2011

[Bumped] Something Wonderful: "Save the Wight Bulb!"

"An eco-maniacal opera, inspired by Elmer Fudd with music by Richard Wagner. Any resemblance to the classic "What's Opera Doc" with Bugs Bunny is entirely intentional.

"The incandescent light bulb is, in fact, scheduled to become unavailable in the US at the end of 2011.

"Ride of the Valkyries and the Tannhauser chorus have been desecrated before, but this brings the offense to a new level, at least I hope so."

Pass it on.

HT: Jacobson @ Leキgal Inキsurキrecキtion

To which the The Scherzophrenic hath this day added:

This brought to mind this scene from Rand’s 1937 futuristic novella, Anthem:

“Our brothers!” we said. “We matter not, nor our transgression. It is only our brother men who matter. Give no thought to us, for we are nothing, but listen to our words, for we bring you a gift such as has never been brought to men. Listen to us, for we hold the future of mankind in our hands.”

Then they listened.

We placed our glass box upon the table before them. We spoke of it, and of our long quest, and of our tunnel, and of our escape from the Palace of Corrective Detention. Not a hand moved in that hall, as we spoke, nor an eye. Then we put the wires to the box, and they all bent forward and sat still, watching. And we stood still, our eyes upon the wire. And slowly, slowly as a flush of blood, a red flame trembled in the wire. Then the wire glowed.

But terror struck the men of the Council. They leapt to their feet, they ran from the table, and they stood pressed against the wall, huddled together, seeking the warmth of one another’s bodies to give them courage.

We looked upon them and we laughed and said:

“Fear nothing, our brothers. There is a great power in these wires, but this power is tamed. It is yours. We give it to you.”

Still they would not move.

“We give you the power of the sky!” we cried. “We give you the key to the earth! Take it, and let us be one of you, the humblest among you. Let us all work together, and harness this power, and make it ease the toil of men. Let us throw away our candles and our torches. Let us flood our cities with light. Let us bring a new light to men!”

But they looked upon us, and suddenly we were afraid. For their eyes were still, and small, and evil.

“Our brothers!” we cried. “Have you nothing to say to us?”

Then Collective 0-0009 moved forward. They moved to the table and the others followed.

“Yes,” spoke Collective 0-0009, “we have much to say to you.”

The sound of their voice brought silence to the hall and to the beat of our heart.

“Yes,” said Collective 0-0009, “we have much to say to a wretch who have broken all the laws and who boast of their infamy! How dared you think that your mind held greater wisdom than the minds of your brothers? And if the Councils had decreed that you should be a Street Sweeper, how dared you think that you could be of greater use to men than in sweeping the streets?”

“How dared you, gutter cleaner,” spoke Fraternity 9-3452, “to hold yourself as one alone and with the thoughts of the one and not of the many?”

“You shall be burned at the stake,” said Democracy 4-6998.

“No, they shall be lashed,” said Unanimity 7-3304, “till there is nothing left under the lashes.”

“No,” said Collective 0-0009, “we cannot decide upon this, our brothers. No such crime has ever been committed, and it is not for us to judge. Nor for any small Council. We shall deliver this creature to the World Council itself and let their will be done.”

We looked upon them and we pleaded:

“Our brothers! You are right. Let the will of the Council be done upon our body. We do not care. But the light? What will you do with the light?”

Collective 0-0009 looked upon us, and they smiled.

“So you think that you have found a new power,” said Collective 0-0009. “Do all your brothers think that?”

“No,” we answered.

“What is not thought by all men cannot be true,” said Collective 0-0009.

“You have worked on this alone?” asked International 1-5537.

“Yes,” we answered.

“What is not done collectively cannot be good,” said International 1-5537.

“Many men in the Homes of the Scholars have had strange new ideas in the past,” said Solidarity 8-1164, “but when the majority of their brother Scholars voted against them, they abandoned their ideas, as all men must.”

“This box is useless,” said Alliance 6-7349.

“Should it be what they claim of it,” said Harmony 9-2642, “then it would bring ruin to the Department of Candles. The Candle is a great boon to mankind, as approved by all men. Therefore it cannot be destroyed by the whim of one.”

“This would wreck the Plans of the World Council,” said Unanimity 2-9913, “and without the Plans of the World Council the sun cannot rise. It took fifty years to secure the approval of all the Councils for the Candle, and to decide upon the number needed, and to re-fit the Plans so as to make candles instead of torches. This touched upon thousands and thousands of men working in scores of States. We cannot alter the Plans again so soon.”

“And if this should lighten the toil of men,” said Similarity 5-0306, “then it is a great evil, for men have no cause to exist save in toiling for other men.”

Then Collective 0-0009 rose and pointed at our box.

“This thing,” they said, “must be destroyed.”

And all the others cried as one:

“It must be destroyed!”

Then we leapt to the table.

We seized our box, we shoved them aside, and we ran to the window. We turned and we looked at them for the last time, and a rage, such as it is not fit for humans to know, choked our voice in our throat.

“You fools!” we cried. “You fools! You thrice-damned fools!”

Posted by Vanderleun at March 2, 2011 11:28 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Ah the little light bulb that almost could.

Posted by: Jewel at March 1, 2011 11:50 AM

Wagner brings tears to the eyes of music lovers every where, but not for love of music.

Progressives must be made to sit through the entire Der Ring des Nibelungen without a bathroom break.

Posted by: Peccable at March 1, 2011 1:21 PM

Freedom Action has a petition
and all the info re: legislation to overturn the ban.

Posted by: RedCarolina at March 1, 2011 7:47 PM

Thanks, Gerard. I thought the grue ate my comment.

Posted by: Jewel at March 2, 2011 1:18 PM

Or maybe it was the zork that ate my comment.

Posted by: Jewel at March 2, 2011 1:20 PM

The BULB Act has been introduced in both houses.. I don't think it's had a vote in House..??..
Funny headline: "Bachmann pro-choice on light bulbs".

Posted by: RedCarolina at March 2, 2011 2:30 PM

How quickly will the incandescent light bulb be given a reprieve when boxes of broken screwy mercury bulbs are mailed by the enraged masses to their congressmen?

Posted by: Jewel at March 2, 2011 5:38 PM

This is so funny. I'm LOL'ing!

Posted by: Paul Homchick at March 2, 2011 9:28 PM

By Jove! Jewel's got it!

"when boxes of broken screwy mercury bulbs are mailed by the enraged masses to their congressmen"

Posted by: Hunt Johnsen at March 3, 2011 6:34 AM

This is just another example of how Obama is totally f*#king the country. First he takes our lightbulbs and then our blenders and then -- before we know it -- it's our manscaping razors! Sometimes that bad, bad man just makes me want to weep like a little girl. Or Jon Boehner.

Posted by: Lou_Sarah at March 3, 2011 8:43 AM

I'm pleased to see you are at last learning how to think right, Lou.

Posted by: at March 3, 2011 8:45 AM

Jewel, you are brilliant. I love your plan. All I know is I have this hilarious song stuck in my head now. I'll be singing it the unemployment line later. So that's good.

Posted by: RedCarolina at March 3, 2011 10:18 AM