July 14, 2011

Something Wicked This Way Comes

"Hello Suckers!" was the greeting Texas Guinan# used to shout out to the swells and the elite when they came into her speakeasy, the 300 Club during Prohibition. They loved it and New Yorkers who are wealthy continue to love being insulted by the help and the whores of Manhattan. The help and the whores don't mind. They get their big hits on their tips jars and the band plays on. Lately though the band playing on in the New York and DC speakeasys seems more and more like the band playing "Nearer My God to Thee" on the stern of the Titanic.

There's been a lot of metaphor slapped onto the ObamaDrama playing out in DC in the last week. It's been called Kabuki, it's been called Noh, it's been called a Chinese shadow puppet production. It's none of those.

Instead it's something we've seen before headlining the floor show wherever flagons of Lethe and bonghits of Oblivion are being sold. Watching Obama and John Boehner and Eric Cantor and trying to figure out who's going to come out on top is like trying to figure out who is best at recapitulating the sold out performances of Le Petomane "playing O Sole Mio and La Marseillaise on an ocarina through a rubber tube in his anus" at the Moulin Rouge in Paris back in 1892. The only difference is that Le Petomane could flatulate on key. Washington is just playing musical chairs with Poo-Poo Cushions.

In case you haven't noticed, none of this current Fart Festival is about actually "reducing" the size of the government. It is about reducing the rate at which government will grow. The Republican plan is "Same shit. Smaller cups." Any recovering alcoholic will tell you that you can drink a pint of whiskey in an hour out of a pint jar or out of a shot glass to the same effect.

This bongo beating Bullshit Shriners Parade on the Potomac goes on, and on, and on, and on.... and to tell you the truth it's getting as numbing as having a two-foot piece of rebar nailed down the center of your spine. What this Clown Convention really needs to get some attention is a good old fashioned auto-da-fe with everyone involved dumped inside the Wicker Man.

Via Ann Barnhardt

At the very least it's enough to make one regret that tar, feathers and riding out of town on a rail has gone out of fashion.

And they still have a lot of chumps on their side. People still dumb enough and depraved enough to warrant shaming and shunning by all right thinking Americans whenever they show their face and open their mouths.

What a bunch of chumps these morons who voted Obama and the Crimocrats into power turned out to be. And now all those chumps (along with the rest of us who had to endure their bullshit) are about to feel the Government's teeth clamp onto their buttocks and chew straight up through to their esophagus. In the hope and change era of their crack-pipe dreams, government seem like a solution, the ultimate solution. They forgot the previous meaning of "ultimate solution."

The con that's still unfolding in Washington ain't no Kabuki on steroids. Instead it reminds me of that scene in Goodfellas where a desperate businessman, looking for hope and change in his fortunes, makes a deal with a known mobster. It went something like this:

Government said, You run the joint. Maybe I'll try to help you.

And the chumps agreed, God bless you, Government. You've always been fair with me.

Now the chumps have got everyone the Government as a partner. Any problems, they goes to the Government. Trouble with a bill, to the Government. Trouble with jobs, liquidity, healthcare, they calls the Government.

But now the chumps have to pay the Government... every week no matter what.

"Business bad? Fuck you, pay me."

"Had a fire? Fuck you, pay me."

"The place got hit by lightning? Fuck you, pay me."

Also, now the Government could do anything. Like run up bills on the joint's credit. And why not? Nobody will pay for it anyway.

Take deliveries at the front door and sell it out the back at a discount.

Take a case of booze and sell it.

It doesn't matter. It's all profit.

Then finally, when there's nothing left... when you can't borrow
another buck from the Chinese... you bust the joint out.

You light a match.

"Hello suckers! Fuck you pay me."

Posted by Vanderleun at July 14, 2011 10:51 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Brilliantly stated. But, now that we know with whom we are dealing, is there any way out?

Posted by: Michael Gersh at July 14, 2011 9:04 PM

"...you bust the joint out...you light a match..."
So what kind of match, and which accelerant, and do we hit BOTH SIDES of Pennsylvania Avenue at the same time?
This is NOT a joke; this is now BEYOND a joke! Our previous laughter at their discomfiture will soon enough turn to future tears at their venality!
Is there a solution, other than all-destroying fire to clear these rats out?! Must we blow up the Houses of Parliament in order to eliminate the Rats and Thugs, vermin, which infest it..?
Remember, guys and gals, remember on November 5th, 2012!
There's a new Guy Fawkes in town and she's going to succeed this time!

Posted by: elixelx at July 14, 2011 11:20 PM

I wrote in 2003, still true today, only worse:

Because the present-day Republicans and Democrats are both big-government activists, they have a foundational philosophy that is the same: America is a problem to be fixed, and Americans are a people to be managed.

And I wrote in October 2008,

Mark it well: next month we will go to the polls only to elect which politician gets the chance to be the first American proto-despot. The only difference between the outcomes of McCain's or Obama's presidency is how quickly they will accelerate the robbery of the people's rights, not whether they will.

Posted by: Donald Sensing at July 15, 2011 6:14 AM

We need to keep them from raising the debt limit. That forces them to live within the country's means. The first one that threatens class warfare, starving people or feeding illegals gets marked for election burial.

Make it stick.

Posted by: Peccable at July 15, 2011 7:02 AM

This is starting to look more like something Joel Grey would emcee. Or better yet, Alan Cumming.

Posted by: Rich Fader at July 15, 2011 7:49 AM

I said at the time of the election: We're headed over a cliff. Do you want to tap the brakes (McCain) or hit the gas (Obama)?

Posted by: StephenB at July 15, 2011 9:45 AM

I fear you are going to crash, and the rest of us with you. Whether you can put yourselves back togther as the old US or not remains to be seen. I wonder what Obama and co. will do in this opportunity/crisis? Declare that those who've lost their jobs are willingly on an Obama Holiday and therefore don't need benefits? Suspend elections, perhaps, on the grounds that you obviously aren't mature enough to handle power?

What frightens me most (a foreigner living in Korea) is that, should you fall, even if we escape global wars over the spoils, political democracy will turn out not to be deeply entrenched, and the old Kings will come back with different titles, robbing and raping all the way.

Posted by: At the Riots at July 17, 2011 4:51 PM