February 18, 2010

Dear Cuba, Shut up and get a job!

castroshirt.jpgIf anybody still has any doubts about the degenerative effect a long, strong dose of Communism can have on the human brain, let him read the following "news dispatch" from Cuba:

Cuba Implements Program to Fight Effects of Climate Change | Cuba News Headlines. Cuban Daily News (CDN is of course a state news agency and has to be wery, wery careful about what it says and how it says it. As a result it has become an outlet skilled in saying nothing.)

Cuba began to implement a comprehensive program to face the consequences of climate change, mainly regarding the mitigation and adaptation to its negative effects caused by the developed world’s consumerism.
Well, all one can say, Fidelistas anonymous, is it's about time! It's nice to see your "planning" kick in just when the rest of the world is chucking the scam and moving on. But in case we're missing some hidden point, tell us again what's going on down Havana way...


Cuba began to implement a comprehensive program to face the consequences of climate change, mainly regarding the mitigation and adaptation to its negative effects caused by the developed world’s consumerism.
Okay, you just had to say it twice because you meant it, or because you were so bored by it that you couldn't stand to proofread it? Or because you came in at noon and it's now half-past and you need to break for lunch?

But now that we know you have "a plan," please tell us what's happening with it:

“One of the main current actions is the implementation and supervision of the plan,” Gisela Alonso Dominguez, president of the Environment Agency at the Ministry of Science, Technology and the Environment, told ACN.

I see. So the main action is to implement and supervise the plan. Good plan! That Gisela at the Agency of the Ministry is one real slave driver when it comes to goals, goals, GOALS! What's more, she's all about the "hard work:"
She added that work is being done to update and improve the current environmental legislation adapted to the Revolution’s policy that aims at preserving the environment.

Whew! I'm plumb tuckered out at the very thought of all this effort. What could be more productive than updating and improving existing legislation? Nothing? Not sugar cane harvesting. Not cigar rolling. Not the broadening of the nation-wide prostitution industry. After all, we're talking about "preserving the environment." You'd think that just letting the nation rot for around 50 years would naturally preserve the environment since there's no new development in housing, business, and industry to tax the environment, but a Communist system never leaves natural ruin to chance when it can come up with policies that speed it along.

Of course before there can be any updating or revision of policies and legislation, you need to have the one thing you can never have enough of -- STUDIES!

Current studies on this matter are linked to the dangers, vulnerability, risks and adaptation to the consequences of climate change such as the reduction of the thickness of artic ice as well as the increase of sea levels and the frequency and intensity of hurricanes.
Wow, Cuban Daily News, cut-ting edge as always! In the week when the rest of the world is finding out ice is getting thicker, sea levels are pretty much where they've always been, and the hurricanes aren't being driven by the Satanic mills of mankind, you've reported straight in from 2007! There'd be a Pulitzer in this for you if you were Americans.

But since you're not and since you've gotten back from lunch at 4:00 and it's now 4:30 and you've got to pack your donkey for a long weekend in an alcoholic stupor, just wrap this up with a real zinger so we know who to blame for your continuing and abject failure as a newspaper and a nation:

The United States is responsible for 25% of the emission of contaminating substances with only 4.7% of the world population.
Of course it is. You just keep rolling those cigars and pimping your wives and daughters to the world. Write if and when that corpse sitting on your future ever dies and you find work.

communism_by_rapierwitt2.jpg
Illustration by Cynyr

Posted by Vanderleun at February 18, 2010 12:30 AM
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Comments:

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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Gee, they could start with, oh I don't know, maybe a real sewer system and, lacking that, maybe just potable tap water(with pressure!) in La Havana.

Fortunately, marijuana is legal and ubiquitous there, keeping the populace in a permanent state of blissful planning and in a constant fog of disinclination to do aught about their fate.

As I said elsewhere today, where talk is cheap there will always be plenty of words. . . and plans.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at February 18, 2010 4:59 AM

So how exactly does that press dispatch differ from what we hear coming from the Obama administration? What was that thing about 'jobs created or saved'? Or the E.P.A, for that matter- New studies show environmental danger increasing. Legislation must be enacted. New regulation required.

JWM

Posted by: jwm at February 18, 2010 7:08 AM

. . . . and it's now 4:30 and you've got to pack your donkey for a long weekend in an alcoholic stupor

Uh, Gerard, I think Cuba ate all its donkeys ages ago.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at February 18, 2010 9:48 AM

So how exactly does that press dispatch differ from what we hear coming from the Obama administration? What was that thing about 'jobs created or saved'? Or the E.P.A, for that matter . . .

As a current denizen of the bowels of the federal government (yes, we fedcritters do resemble tapeworms and other parasites, and don't dress much better, either) I can attest to the veracity and astuteness of your observations. The other remarkable thing about the missives coming out of your multitrillion dollar gubmint is that most of these statements are pounded out on keyboards by creatures who have no fingers or limbs, but pound away with what on more advanced life forms would be called a head.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at February 18, 2010 9:54 AM

Amazingly, my daily newspaper, the Baton Rouge Advocate, actually ran a small article this very day, Feb 19th, headlined "Mule Deficit Spurs Census in Cuba." I kid you not. It's bizarrely reported without elaboration that the government has "commissioned a census" of mules in the nation. The AIN news agency says that Cuba is some 8,000 mules short in the highlands alone. "Very important for the transportation of food." They are indeed a green-land.
Mostly, perhaps, though, green mold growing in the heads of the jackasses in charge.

Posted by: Jim Hlavac at February 19, 2010 7:01 AM

"Mule Deficit Spurs Census in Cuba."

I have discovered long ago that when I make jokes about impending social trends and their consequences, they always come true, no matter how outrageous. The solution is for me to stop making such jokes, so the world can become sane again. It's all MY fault, NOT Bush's.

Posted by: Don Rodrigo at February 19, 2010 9:33 AM