January 18, 2010

"Bring. It. On."

greatscott.jpg “All localities are political.” – Seamus O’Hammer

“Brown? Even if he loses he wins,” said my long-suffering Massachusetts pal Seamus O’Hammer over coffee on Saturday. Shamus was giving me the low-down on the many different species of Massachusetts democrats to be found in those environs. It seems you have your Kennedycrats, your Progressocrats, your Greenocrats, your Librocrats, your Midocrats, your Reactionocrats, and your Republicrats.

“Now the bosses,” said Seamus, “can work the Democrat slot machine on a district by district basis, me boyo, but when it comes to statewide elections it is much more difficult to control the Big Casino. That doesn’t mean they won’t be Fedexing all the leftover Franken ballots in from Minnesota, but they will have to do some very heavy lifting to get effective cheating in place.”

“They say, Seamus, that ‘if it’s not close they can’t cheat’ so I take it that Brown’s got to have a lot of votes over the 50% line in order to be declared the winner.”

“Ah me boyo, there’s a fine old confused lad you are. It’s no longer a win-or-lose election. Brown’s already won. The only question now is what he’s won.

“You see, even if Brown does not get the Senate seat, he has still, from nowhere and in under one month, become a national political figure. After this election he doesn’t just go back to being one of the very few Republicans sitting around in the Massachusetts legislature. Even if he loses, you’ll have Scott Brown around for a long, long time.”

“And of course if he wins, then he’s not only Senator Scott Brown from Massachusetts forever. No, if he wins – with his face, family, personality, speaking gifts, and conservative ideology – you are suddenly looking at a man who can become President Scott Brown. Even if he loses that could happen, but winning will accelerate the process.”

“That’s nicely in the future, Seamus,” I said, “but suppose he wins and the Democrats make good on their promises to keep him out of the Senate until they pass their current pact with Satan?”

“Bring. It. ON. Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. That would be the finest thing, boyo, the finest thing they could do in defeat to assure their defeat rolls on.

"Now I’m not saying the Democrats wouldn’t be dumb enough to do it since they have, for years, reached depths of dumbness previously unknown to the human race, but it would be something to see indeed.

"It would be like watching the whole pack of them, House and Senate, Pelosi to Reid, insert sticks of dynamite up their collective rectums and hand the voters a strike-anywhere match labeled ‘November.’

"If I were you I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the Capitol building in November. It’ll look worse than that plaster smash palace in Port au Prince, Haiti looks today. The difference will be that nobody will be looking to bring out the Democrat bodies from the rubble. We’ll just slap up the crime scene tape, pave it over, and have it declared a super-fund site.”

Posted by Vanderleun at January 18, 2010 8:46 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

It's fourth and goal with no time remaining and the franchise on the line, so I'll play this guy as a linebacker and kiss his ass in gratitude, but I'm not going to love him in the morning. Global warming and cap and trade belong entirely on the other side of the fence. And who knows what else. Do you? I don't.
I sent my money. May your friends dynamite get lit, but this is not a conservative national figure.

Posted by: james wilson at January 18, 2010 10:15 AM

You're right; he's really an old-fashioned liberal--like they used to have 60 years ago.

But I'll take it!

Posted by: ahem at January 18, 2010 10:20 AM

You never get to vote for the perfect candidate, only the best of available options, or if you're a cynic, the least worst of options.

I hope this past presidential election was a reminder of this ancient law.

Posted by: phil g at January 18, 2010 1:12 PM

"If it's *not* close they can't cheat"--you mean, don't you?

[Begora, JB that is what I mean. Thank you.]

Posted by: jbb at January 18, 2010 1:40 PM

Yeah I always say if you have a void big enough eventually something will come along and fill it. We've needed true leadership for it seems eons. Is Brown the one? Don't know. But it is fun to watch.

Thanks for the great coverage.

Posted by: John at January 19, 2010 10:05 AM