Comments or suggestions: Gerard Van der Leun
Dream Tickets 2008: McCain-Clinton, Obama-Obama

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan

-- The Sacred Book of Beatles

You'd love to see the plan? Okay, here's mine. And, yes, I am a "sooper-genius" for coming up with it. If you think about it you'll know it's not only right, but that -- with a little of that all-American hope for change -- Americans will all say,"Yes, we can!"

Look, we all know where this campaign is going and it's not good. It hasn't been good for a long, long time and it gets worse by the day. But with a little creativity among the surviving candidates we can still snatch victory from the jaws of wingnuts and moonbats.



My plan is simplicity itself as expressed in the bumper stickers above.

Step 1: Hillary crosses over and joins McCain as veep.


Posted by Vanderleun Jul 31, 2008 8:19 AM | Comments (18)  | QuickLink: Permalink
What If Jesus Had Had Kids?

Jesus%20w-children3-1.jpgI don't have a lot of arguments with the Lord. I expect Him to be capricious, irrational, and possessed of a mind and purpose beyond the comprehension of the smart monkeys. Why? Because, as God, He can.

I don't expect Him to answer my prayers because it is a very big universe and He's got a lot on his plate -- even for a Supreme Being. Imagine, if you will, being God in His office and deciding to step away from Your desk for a minute to get Yourself a beverage from the Holy Vending Machine (No charge). You're away for about 45 seconds but when You get back there are 25,345,654 "While You Were Out" slips on your desk along with about 100,000,000 items of Spam from Tibetan Prayer Wheels. What could You do, even if You were God. You'd just answer as many as You could at random, and then break early for a long lunch.


Posted by Vanderleun Jul 27, 2008 11:51 AM | Comments (22)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Cutting Through the Katrina Krapola

New Orleans: The good old days

"You've got a mouth full of gimme, a hand full of much obliged." -- Bessie Smith, Gulf Coast Blues

[Written in January. According to Cassy Fiano in "New Orleans: Saints Needed" New Orleans has only gotten worse:

New Orleans was quite possibly one of the most uncomfortable and scary places I have ever visited in my entire life. It was like a haven for thugs, drug dealers, gangsters, rapists, and criminals. Does that mean that everyone there is a rapist or a criminal? Of course not, but it was awfully hard to distinguish who was just trying to act like a thug and who was the real thing.
As always, crapola rises.]

I don't know about you but I have had it with the legions of hustlers, grifters, drunks, junkies, pathics and drooling layabouts that keep waddling and teetering up to the public trough from that swamp of puke called New Orleans. The latest of an endless line of calls upon the kindness of strangers by these public-purse pimps is this little bit of chicanery: Katrina victim sues U.S. for $3 quadrillion

Hurricane Katrina's victims have put a price tag on their suffering and it is staggering -- including one plaintiff seeking the unlikely sum of $3 quadrillion.

The total number -- $3,014,170,389,176,410 -- is the dollar figure so far sought from some 489,000 claims filed against the federal government over damage from the failure of levees and flood walls following the Aug. 29, 2005, hurricane.

This chunk of legalized slunk trading may or may not include the Washington con job currently being floated in Swampy Bottom -- "Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number." But it hardly matters.

I've considered the matter of New Orleans carefully.

I've weighed the never-ending, and now maudlin, saccharine suffering of its people against my now limitless cache of compassion fatigue. They have been found wanting.

To be fair and just, here's what I propose we give New Orleans from this day forward. Nothing. Niente. Zip. Zero. Nada. And a full-scale barium enema just for asking for one more thin dime. Did you send money to this barrage of bozos? I did and I want it back. With interest.


Posted by Vanderleun Jul 4, 2008 11:21 PM | Comments (101)  | QuickLink: Permalink
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