Would somebody please put Helen Thomas out of her misery by hauling her off to the Washington Zoo, and making her the first journalist embedded in an elephant's anal pore? And when you do, could you please use a sledgehammer and an arc welder to make sure she stays put? And while you're at it, head first. Okay?
Here's a sample of this biddy's compulsive yabble --
Helen Thomas at today's White House Press Briefing
HELEN THOMAS: Why should we depend on him?MS. PERINO: Because he is the commander on the ground, Helen. He's the one who is making sure that the situation is moving
HELEN THOMAS: You mean how many more people we kill?
MS. PERINO: Helen, I find it really unfortunate that you use your front row position, bestowed upon you by your colleagues, to make such statements. This is a -- it is an honor and a privilege to be in the briefing room, and to suggest that we, at the United States, are killing innocent people is just absurd and very offensive.
HELEN THOMAS: Do you know how many we have since the start of this war?
MS. PERINO: How many -- we are going after the enemy, Helen. To the extent that any innocent Iraqis have been killed, we have expressed regret for it.
HELEN THOMAS: Oh, regret. It doesn't bring back a life.
MS. PERINO: Helen, we are in a war zone, and our military works extremely hard to make sure that everyone has the opportunity for liberty and freedom and democracy, and that is exactly what they are doing.
I'm going to move on.
UPDATE: The keeper of the House of Eratosthenes correctly observes and asks:
The purpose of the [White House Press Corps] is to extract information that would otherwise be un-extracted; discuss that which otherwise would remain undiscussed. What has this pretentious, grandstanding, blustering, pontificating toad done to bring that about lately?Posted by Vanderleun at November 30, 2007 5:49 PM | TrackBack
What, get rid of the Grand Dame of the Washington Press Corps? Surely you jest. She retired once, but found out life was boring unless she could insult the Republican Commander-in-Chief as often as possible.
Actually, the dems want to keep her alive and in the front row as long as there's a Republican in the White House. She'll probably die in that press corps room.
Too bad more people don't watch those pressers, they'd know what a disgusting old crone she has become.
Posted by: Jimmy J. at November 30, 2007 8:45 PMI'm bothered that the press corps considers Thomas an esteemed senior member, which is foolish, I know -- given that 99.9 percent of the reporters are America-hating leftists, just like Helen.
But I'm even more troubled that the Bush Administration lost its resolve and allowed her to sit in the front row again. Thomas was sent to the back of the room to demonstrate that she was held in low esteem by the administration, her rants and nonsensical questions certainly not worthy of a place of honor.
And then for reasons unknown, she was back, front row, center, subjecting Tony Snow -- and the rest of us -- to spittle-flecked diatribes.
Feh.
Posted by: Mike Lief at November 30, 2007 10:41 PMGerard, ever heard the expression about trying to get [manure] back into the horse?
Posted by: Rich Fader at December 1, 2007 8:07 AMGerard, if you're willing to settle for a metaphorical interpretation of your desires, it is my belief that this is exactly what we just saw take place.
Those who pay attention diligently, stopped taking her seriously awhile back. This is where she stops being taken seriously by the folks who pay attention casually. I'd say the turkey leftovers in your fridge are going to be around longer than Thomas' career from this point.
Posted by: Morgan K Freeberg at December 1, 2007 8:19 AMExcellent. I'm going to toss that old turkey neck in the disposal right now.
Posted by: vanderleun at December 1, 2007 9:56 AM"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.