June 2, 2007

Will I Blend?

ablenderdrink.jpg
Let's review. Perfect Saturday Summer afternoon..... but, well, there's loads of laundry to do, and the gardening is really backed up, and the car needs a waxing..... What to do?

This needs careful planning. I know, I shall get out my foremost planning tool, the blender.

Okay, blender's out. What now?

Something healthy. Something energizing. But something made out the supplies on hand. Check the refrigerator.

Humm, one pint Starbucks espresso coffee ice-cream. That sounds healthy. Put it in the blender.

There you go.

But won't that be too thick?

Exactly so. Why don't I cut it with two jiggers of this Belvedere vodka that's been spoiling in the freezer for a month? Yes, that's what it takes.

But won't that make the mixture taste too much like raw alcohol?

Right again, Sherlock. To counteract that, I'll just put in two jiggers from this ancient bottle of Kaluha that's been gathering dust in the cupboard for at least 24 hours. There.... Humm, only an inch left in the bottle. Better add it in lest it go bad. When it doubt go all in.

Hold on there, sport, that's an awful lot of alcohol to a pint of ice-cream. It might upset the stomach.

Right again. I'll just pop in a half a cup of whipping cream to smooth it out. There.

Fine. Great. But I detect a flaw in your plan.

What's that?

There's so much sugar and alcohol in it you could pass out in the garden.

An astute perception, my friend, but I know the way around it. I'll simply throw in three heaping measures of this finely ground espresso coffee I just happen to have here in this bag.

Well, I have to admit that seems formidable.

It is. And, as luck would have it, everything in this blender is on my diet.

Make it blend.

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........

Ah, that looks just about lethal.

Fetch glass and pour. Drink and evaluate.

(Tick... tick... tick.... tick.... tick....)

Well?

Success. I seem to have become the most wide awake drunk on my block.

Now.... about that gardening....

Huh?

acoffeedrink.jpg
The finished product. And everything is on your diet. Hint: do try this at home.

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Posted by Vanderleun at June 2, 2007 5:02 PM | TrackBack
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AMERICAN DIGEST HOME
"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Looks good. Did you use the Wunda Blenda?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YqV191GoNbs

Posted by: Mary B. at June 3, 2007 8:50 AM

Gerard, you magnificent bastard! I must make this toot-sweet [sic]!

Posted by: growler at June 3, 2007 1:39 PM

This is the patented Watunda diet. it was developed in los Angeles in the eighties by Terry, Roy and Schimmelstein. To reap the full benefits, this should be preceeded by a training session at the venerable Musso Frank Grill.
Note; none of the patticipants have been able to see their feet without the ald of mirrors in decades.

Posted by: flannelputz at June 3, 2007 3:15 PM

This is the patented Watunda diet. it was developed in Los Angeles in the eighties by Terry, Roy and Schimmelstein.

To reap the full benefits, this should be preceded by a training session at the venerable Musso Frank Grill.

Note; none of the participants have been able to see their feet without the aid of mirrors in decades.

Posted by: flannelputz at June 3, 2007 3:16 PM

OK, I'll bite...which was more powerful, the caffeine or the alcohol?

Posted by: Barnabus at June 3, 2007 5:10 PM

Wow, scrumptious....

How could it might be equally good, if not better?

.....a couple of teaspoons of crunchy peanut butter in the mix before revving up the blender......

Posted by: Webutante at June 3, 2007 7:40 PM
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