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Morning Mockery with Mark: Is This Some Kind of Joke?

From the debate you didn’t know was happening, to non-binary haircuts, to AOC’s drag queening, to the gay Spiderman (It’s from a radioactive bite, remember?) Mark Dice mocks it so you don’t have to.

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  • jwm February 25, 2020, 9:42 AM

    Now I shall display my Boomerist, old-farted, and tragically unhip (not to mention PHOBIC) esthetics. In what universe does stretching your earlobes out so far you could pass a quarter through the hole make you more attractive? Does anyone look at an old photo of Sophia Loren, and think, “Gee. If only she had some gauges, and a facial tatt…” Maybe the Ubangi thought it was cool.


  • Jack February 25, 2020, 10:14 AM

    Gay doctors….uh, no thanks.

    I had a pretty great doc until recently when he decided he’d had enough of the ‘system’ and went to work for an insurance giant’s medical advisory staff. No more patients, no more exposure to every friggin’ ailment, regular hours and lots of perks. Great guy and he’ll do fine.

    So, the Medical Group I frequent decided to assign another doctor to me without giving me an opportunity to make a selection based upon my review of their staff and their creds. I was assigned to some black woman who was raised locally and attended State funded universities and sure as shootin’ she has one of those black mammy make up names that no one else has or can even pronounce.

    Being an older chap and knowing how hands wash each other here in the Deep South, I wasn’t about to permit some gal who grew up on Affirmative Action and Headt Start to fiddle with my 70 year old male self. Ain’t happening.

  • captflee February 25, 2020, 1:26 PM

    So, gay folk are underrepresented as physicians? Maybe if the overall population is 25% LGBTQWERTY, but I think we all know that percentage is much closer to 2.5%. Hell, my pediatrician as a child was a wonderful, sweet, equestrienne who got un-closeted when her lover murdered her, with all the attendant juicy details spilling into the papers. She was the first, but hardly the last gay medico I’ve known over the years.

  • ghostsniper February 25, 2020, 1:58 PM

    Gay doctors….uh, no thanks.
    How would you know?
    IOW, how would you know the dood that’s palpitating the lump on the side of your neck wasn’t palpitating another demented doods greased up anus 8 hours prior?

    Another mental image for you to dally with.
    If the doc DID lay pipe with it’s “lovah” the night before is there any amount of hand washing it could do to make you comfortable with it handling on you?

    Let’s go ahead and get down to the nitty gritty. Back in the early 80’s co-workers and I would converse about the onset of the AIDs virus and the idea that using a tissue paper thin sheath of latex is all that is between you and a deadly disease. Knowing that body fluids are not limited to the immediate working parts of the genitalia we all agreed that using a condom to have “safe sex” was like putting a band aid on a broken back. Not even close to being sufficient. I don’t want to be within a mile of anyone that dabbles in septic systems. The very thought is almost more than I can bear.

  • Steve in Greensboro February 25, 2020, 4:20 PM

    If anybody had any doubt that America was in terminal decline, they just need to consider that we have elected Carmen Miranda to the U.S. House of Representatives.

  • Snakepit Kansas February 25, 2020, 6:12 PM

    Ghost said “greased up anus”. JAJAJJAJAAA!!!! My wife, from another room, wants to know what is causing me convulsions of laughter. Not sure I am going to tell her. Maybe just say I remembered an old joke.
    Non-binary? FFS. The poor “it” is starving for attention. Cannot get a haircut….20 years ago I went to a Superchop and asked for a #2 around the side and a #4 over the top. Gal said “Your hair is too thin for that”. I stepped out of that chair and drove to the WalMarts. Bought an Industrial Grade Wahls hair cutting kit and have been cutting my own hair since.

  • John The River February 26, 2020, 5:01 AM

    Carmen Miranda had more dignity.

  • Annie Rose February 28, 2020, 6:11 AM

    My list of doctors reads like the UN; so many nationalities and they are all excellent. I could care less about their sexuality, name, or skin color, nor do I worry about my co-workers’ sexuality and bedroom practices. My all time favorite doctor, an ophthalmologist, who graduated top of her class from a world renowned teaching hospital, saved my 11-yr-olds life during a routine eye exam by discovering that her optic nerves were “a little fuzzy”. Two major skull surgeries later, she was still with us, and today is 30-yrs-old. If it hadn’t been caught on that day in April, my daughter would have been dead or a vegetable by August from a massive brain bleed. This doctor is black and I could care less about her black hands that touched my daughter. I thank God for her. He used her black ass to save my baby.

    While in the hospital recovering from the first surgery, my daughter had a very swishy, effeminate, male night nurse. She needed help getting onto the commode chair, because her eyes were swollen shut and she had a bunch of tubes and monitors, and I couldn’t lift her in and out of bed. He asked if we were comfortable with him assisting her. He had the most gentle and compassionate manner of any nurse I have ever seen; a total professional and a very nice change from the other heartless Nurse Rached’s we encountered. Don’t let your prejudices keep you from getting good health care. It literally could be a life or death decision.

  • Vanderleun February 28, 2020, 7:48 AM

    Thank you Annie for that breath of sanity and compassion. You are correct and fortunate to have fine care givers and doctors. I toopretty much take people as they come and as they are, as humans.