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Memo2File: “I’ve got a house, a showplace / Still I can’t get no place with you “

Real Estate Agent Posts 25 Of The Worst Home Design Finds By Her Fellow Agents

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  • Dan Patterson August 4, 2019, 3:54 AM

    A sentimental favorite and on my brain jukebox Top 40; “I Can’t Get Started” begins with the dotted eighth/sixteenth swing translation of the written eighths as the simple C-chord is played in arpeggio. Not that anyone needed to know that. Opening and closing scenes of “Save The Tiger” (Jack Lemmon 1973, written by Steve Shagan) are shown with this haunting lament.
    The 1937 version (also recorded in ’36 for a movie soundtrack without the opening flourishes) by Bunny Berrigan:

  • Snakepit Kansas August 4, 2019, 4:54 AM

    Those were some very interesting designs. I cannot wait for Ghost’s input on such creativity.

  • Anonymous August 4, 2019, 8:34 AM
  • Dan Patterson August 4, 2019, 9:27 AM

    just so no one thinks I’ve lost my mind my comment was related to the lyric from “I Can’t Get Started” noted by the title of Gerard’s post.

  • ghostsniper August 4, 2019, 10:05 AM

    Hey Snake – I aim to please.
    Don’t mistake that nastiness for “home design”.
    Real estate agents are the LEAST knowledgeable people in the world when it comes to anything house or building.

    So ya want a little story to go along with it, eh?
    Here ya go.

    I have designed over 7000 building projects spanning more than 40 years, from simple residential porch additions and interior retail remodeling, to 12,000 square foot custom homes for famous sports stars you’ve heard of and the Sarasota Justice System – courthouse and jail, and the Tampa Bay Stadium. I wrote the book.
    I have also been a licensed real estate agent since 1991 though I have never worked in that capacity – I simply wanted the education.

    In 2005 I hired the most successful real estate company in the history of Florida to sell our almost new custom home. I had no idea the depth of insanity I was in for. Over the next 6 months more than 300 potential customers tromped through our house, with us under the illusion someone wanted to buy our crib. Silly me. Believe it or not, in southwest Florida, there is a plethora of sub-retarded people running loose that spend their weekends rolling through houses for sale with never any intention of purchasing. They are THAT bored. A dollar to a donut says most of them are not capable of purchasing real property. The real estate agents can’t be bothered to “pre-qualify” potential customers. “Come one, come all, to the the show that never ends!” How many of these people were casing our crib to come back later and rob us? Maybe that Gettysburg brand fireproof steel vault in my home office gave em a clue.

    Not only are real estate agents not bothered to pre-qualify customers but they cannot be bothered to do even basic cursory education on what the homes in their current folder are all about. Serious. They had a print out card that stated the number of bedrooms and baths, number of car garage, whether the place had a pool or not and a couple other elementary things. If a potential customer stepped outside that narrow barrier they received, “That’s a good question! I’ll contact the owner and get back to you!” sigh If you can’t answer ALL questions right on the spot you’re in the wrong business. Because our home was designed and built by me it had hundreds of custom features that just cannot be found in most homes and the customers were not being made aware of it. We weren’t getting our money’s worth and we were unsatisfied with Century 21’s Sunbelt service.

    Know who sold our house?
    My wife. And she has nothing to do with real estate, at all.
    But she had a goal and come hell or high water she was going to achieve it.
    She bought the domain: http://www.southwestfloridahomeforsale.com , hired our son the IT engineer to assemble the site, and a week later we were getting calls from across the country and around the world. A month later our house sold for MORE than we were asking and my real estate education was complete. We still had to pay $38k to the agency even though they had nothing to do with it.

    We moved here to the great white north later that year and we found real estate agents are as stupid and lazy here as they are elsewhere. I’m not sure of the reason for this, except that it must be very easy to get a license so all sorts of nitwits have invaded the field. Just like every other field or profession out there today.

    Regarding anything a real estate agent says, don’t. Just don’t. They are the used car salesmen of the housing world. Regarding those appalling house interior pictures, we’ve all known people like that, no? People with more dollars than brains, and the unfortunate souls with no dollars and no brains. Is this a new thing for real estate agents, to stick their fingers in the eyes of their customers? And for that they require a 6% real estate fee? Maybe that’s why they show 35 homes for each house they sell, and then their fee is watered down amongst all the collaborating brokers and multi-listing sevices to where when it’s all said and done they get a paltry $300.

    How about this idea, invest yourself into your future and your career and stop being stupid and lazy? Spend an hour educating your customers – the people that are hiring you to sell the home. Be assertive, aggressive even, be smart, be empathetic. Teach the customers what they need to know to be successful home sellers that get the most money they can for their home. Be truthful. This is where being a good communicator comes into play – after all, it’s they only way to have successful relationships with people. For example, if the homeowner has curtain rods installed on strange angles over the large window in the living room tell them that is not a good thing. In the same breath tell them they need to install a set of curtain rods properly. Etc., etc. Explain that these things will lower the expectations of the potential buyers and that will be reflected in their offers. It’s called “Staging”, where the home is brought up to the proper condition in order to warrant a sale. If the customer is unwilling to comply with your educated suggestions then you should let them seek sales service from another company. Believe it or not people wanting to buy a home are not impressed with thousands of listings of homes that are substandard like those in the link.

  • Nori August 4, 2019, 1:45 PM

    Good grief. Were the designers/decorators on LSD?

    That resin toilet seat would be great if it were filled with scorpions instead of butterflies. For the guest bathroom when unwanted visitors make an unexpected appearance.

  • Dan Patterson August 4, 2019, 1:59 PM

    Snakie has it exactly correct: most agents are full of sh** and “sales techniques” and neither are good for much of anything.

  • Snakepit Kansas August 5, 2019, 4:59 AM

    “sub-retarded” and “used car salesmen of the housing world”. Ghost does not disappoint!