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Medicare Part G Works for Me

If you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no nursing home care available for you, what do you do?

You may opt for Medicare Part G.

The plan gives anyone 70 or older, a gun (Part G) and one bullet.

You may then shoot one worthless politician.

This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the healthcare you need.

Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!

And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes!

Is this a great country or what?

You have now solved your senior Long-Term Care problem.

Via email.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Terry June 20, 2018, 8:40 AM

    Retirement problem solved.

  • pbird June 20, 2018, 8:57 AM

    Some elderly Japanese are already doing a version of this. Since they have no one to care for them and are too poor for commercial care, they commit some silly crime in order to be sent to jail.

  • Mike Anderson June 20, 2018, 9:18 AM

    I’ve often thought about this, but always deemed it as “too far out.” But now? Plan G from Inner Space. proven effective by hundreds of crafty old Japanese, and updated with a delicious American populist twist. I love it!

    One question: can I bring my own gun, or do I need the government to provide me one (as a reimbursed medical expense)?

  • Sam L. June 20, 2018, 9:31 AM


  • Gordon Scott June 20, 2018, 11:05 AM

    I just finished listening to Call the Midwife: Shadows of the Workhouse. It’s the second book in the series from which the TV show was taken. It talks about life in postwar east end of London, from the perspective of one of the midwives assigned to the area. The east end is where the docks are, and it was always poor and overcrowded. It was also a prime target for German bombers.

    The Brits had workhouses. These were institutions to which the homeless were consigned from the mid 1800 till about a century later. They were grim, hopeless places, only slightly above prison. After the workhouse system was ended, the workhouses became old age homes. The workers were Filipinos who didn’t speak English. It was as miserable as one who has read Dickens can imagine.

  • Fletcher Christian June 20, 2018, 2:39 PM

    Do the country and the world even more good as you arrange your care. Shoot a banker. They make politicians look honest.

  • John The River June 20, 2018, 5:22 PM

    Oh! The FBI is SO going to be coming for all of us!

    What the hell; don’t forget the actors, rapper’s, tax assessors and in fact there are many deserving professions!

  • EndOfPatience June 20, 2018, 6:51 PM

    I LIKE it!

  • Despicable Me June 21, 2018, 3:55 AM

    So you’re saying that health care rationing is gonna limit us to only one politician and one bullet? Damn Obama Care screws us again.

  • Jeff June 22, 2018, 6:35 AM

    Is there a lay-away plan where I can shoot the politician now and go to prison at a later date? Just curious.

  • Jeff June 22, 2018, 6:58 AM

    Is there a layaway plan where I can shoot the politician now and go to prison when my money runs out? That would be ideal for me and the missus.

  • Charles Moore June 22, 2018, 1:31 PM

    Do prisoners in California State prisons receive nursing home care? Yes they do. Do they receive most of the items and services mentioned in the article? Yes they do. Start at the top and work down.