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MeatFarms of the Near Future: Cultured Beef and What We’re Made Of

The Cultured Beef Process: “Muscle tissue is a key component. It is first harvested in a small and harmless procedure….”

Lab-grown meat – why the farm could switch to the petri dish | Alphr

The process of making lab-grown meat isn’t exactly pleasant, but hey, neither is the inside of an abattoir. Here are the details, in the case of the burger. Scientists are already working on other animals, including chickens. Stem cells are taken from cow muscle tissue and then cultured with nutrients and chemicals to encourage them to grow and multiply. Three weeks later, you have over a million stem cells, which are then moved to dishes where they form small strips of muscle around a centimetre long. Layer them together, mix them with fat and add some colour and your meal is served.

“They”re made out of meat….”

“Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?”

“First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual.”

“We’re supposed to talk to meat?”

“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.’ That sort of thing.”

“They actually do talk, then? They use words, ideas, concepts?”

“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.” — Made Out of Meat

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  • Doug September 7, 2018, 10:40 AM
  • Casey Klahn September 7, 2018, 11:28 AM

    I knew they were gay! Proven right, again.

    Why aren’t I the president of Meat America?

    Seriously: cultured grown meat, or whatever is proposed, sounds more disgusting than a can of Spam. I’m so out of touch, you know. To me, meat grows to @ 200 lbs on the hoof, and eats from my apple trees and fields of grass. As I type this, I sit under a stuffed memorial of one: hair, antlers, glass eyeballs and styrofoam innerds. I’d rather eat him than petri dish meats. Yiiich.

  • ghostsniper September 7, 2018, 2:36 PM

    I eat spam all the time, maybe 2 cans a month. I likes it and prepare it in a variety of ways. Diced with cauliflower in mac n cheese. Sliced and grilled with BBQ sauce. Sliced and fried in the pan. Chopped tight and made into ham salad sando’s. But my all time favorite is sliced thick and installed as is right on a wheat roll thats been slathered with mayo and a thick slab of smoked gouda. DAWG! Always have a half doz cans in the larder. All this yappin’s got my jooses flowin’, guess what I’m havin’ for supper tonight?

    Something’s just never set well with me when it comes to killin’ stuff. Never killed anything cept a fish and that’s been a long time ago. Will kill to defend my life. But I won’t like it. I don’t understand how someone can take pride in killing things.

  • jwm September 7, 2018, 3:29 PM

    Coming to a food label near you: Percentage of Cultured Beef Protein.
    But hey, if they can culture beef, why not leather?
    Maybe human skin suits, or animal pelts.
    Let your imagination run yucky.
    Sometimes I’m grateful to be running low on future.


  • Jewel September 7, 2018, 3:40 PM

    I guess that’s what horticulture is…or is it whore to culture?

  • Nori September 7, 2018, 4:34 PM

    So progressive sciencefolk concerned about the climate-changing horrors of greenhouse gassy cowfarts are creating Frankenburgers? They want to help feed the burgeoning populations of China and India? Is the cow no longer sacred in India? Most importantly, why should I care?
    Progscience. Their sh*t’s all retarded, and they talk like fags.

    I’m going to grab a bag of elk stew from the freezer to improve my attitude.

  • Jewel September 7, 2018, 5:23 PM

    It’s Ulterior meat. You know, The other red meat. All barf and no bite.

  • Snakepit Kansas September 7, 2018, 6:02 PM

    OH!!! Casey opened the can of SPAM!! He hates it! It is one of my camping standby’s. A slice of that over the campfire put on a piece of bread on a cold camp out is FANTASTIC!!! Add to the pack a can of tamales on the corner of the fire and I am eating like a KING!!!

  • Casey Klahn September 7, 2018, 6:43 PM

    It’s impossible to speak without being misunderstood. I made a comparison, but I actually like Spam, too. I don’t eat it often, but if offered some pan fried, I’d eat it gladly.

    Ghost, you got me hungry for Spam, there! Killing wild game is a many layered thing; it isn’t the killing, really. You do have to want to kill – game animals, that is. I watch the whole cycle from my porch, too. Winter kill, inter-species fighting, accidental death, predation by varmints big and small, disease, road kill. The whole bit. A deer at 6 year’s age is quite old by average. Death by hunter is not a bad thing, and is measurably good. Were that to go away, and it might dwindle and fade with the tick of time, then the deer population would suffer in many ways.

    The layers of hunting? Knowing where he is at all times. What is he doing, what is he thinking? Where will he be in the next three hours, and how can I get inside his error loop. How fit am I? How keen? Can I do justice to this ancient task, or will I muck it up and regret that I did. Also, the farmers love it when you shrink the herd of those who consume their crops at a fast rate.

    Yes, it’s a learned thing. No, it isn’t “pride.” I do have a bond with this thing above my desk, and yes he is a prize winner. It shows skill and dedication. It also gives dimension to all that shitty time I spent in the infantry, figuring out what I was capable of and not capable of.

    The next time a hunter asks to bow hunt your property, think about the merits of that. The state hires them by the dozens because it’s a good thing.

    Out here.

  • ghostsniper September 7, 2018, 6:54 PM

    Casey, my mention of the bravado was mostly pertaining to the idiots I’ve seen online and on the hunting TV shows in the past that do their happy dance, ass grabbin’, high fivin’ and all that, after the kill. Just shoot the thing and prep it, why act like an idiot?

    My neighbor across the road kills a deer right in his yard every year, no license, because of principle, and I’ve eaten his venison slow cooker chili many times. Wash it down with a big glass of moonshine.

    Deer and turkey hunting is BIGTIME around these parts and I have never understood it. The idea of sitting out in the cold with a gun in my hand, waiting (like I did hundreds of times in the army) is not my idea of fun. Driving up to woodchuck in Morgantown and getting 20lbs of 80/20 ground beef at $1.89/lb is my idea of fun. I have no problem with people that hunt, it’s just not for me. For now. That could change at any time.

  • Casey Klahn September 7, 2018, 9:01 PM

    The game laws are so strict, and the game man (don’t say that phrase too fast or too many times) has so much authority, that if they catch a guy killing deer without the tag/license, his shit will definitely be in the wind. Big legal trouble. Not worth it. I know – ownership and all. But, kicking that hive of bees ain’t worth it.

  • Brendan September 8, 2018, 10:01 AM

    Guys, if you’re ever out west check out the SPAM festival in Isleton, CA. The guy on the left in this video is a candidate for mayor in November. Navy Seal. Event usually held President’s Day weekend.


  • ghostsniper September 8, 2018, 10:16 AM

    “…if they catch a guy killing deer without the tag/license, his shit will definitely be in the wind…”

    Same here. It’s the nosy people that are the worst. The gov’t asswipes think they own everything. The key is to have big acreage that is mostly wooded – keeps nosy people at a distance. Around here most folks have 10 acres or more. Lots of daily shooting goes on too, legally. So if an “illegal” hunt happens no one is the wiser. If in doubt, use the crossbow. Or IR nightfire with the oil filter extension.

  • ignore amos September 8, 2018, 11:27 AM

    Just curious. Where do the raw materials for artificial meat come from? I’d guess from the floor drains in a slaughterhouse?

  • ghostsniper September 8, 2018, 6:13 PM

    “Where do the raw materials for artificial meat come from?”

    Wood pulp, pea flour, other non-desirable cast offs, and chemicals.
    But then, that stuff is in everything else these days too, unless you grow your own.
    Most of us are eating trash, disguised as tasty delights.

  • pbird September 9, 2018, 10:15 AM

    Killing things…I had to kill a chicken one time. A dog had caused her a fatal injury and she was in shock and shaking. I took her to a stump with a hatchet in my other hand and she laid her head on the wood and waited, she did. I took her little head off with one whack and made soup of her even though she had been bitten, out of respect. I really didn’t like it. Its so finale.

  • soapweed September 9, 2018, 6:17 PM

    Casey: Kicking THAT bees hive IS worth it…it’s called being an outlaw, the honorable option when unjustly oppressed and dictated to by our “betters”……folks in true need hereabouts are always welcome to partake in the King’s property, w/o license, and even more so when slightly just past the designated season. Yes, with a rusty chainsaw, sideways.

  • ghostsniper September 9, 2018, 8:09 PM

    “…slightly just past the designated season…”

    When food costs 10X what it does now there will be no seasons and the king won’t matter.
    Gov’t long pig can fill that slow cooker just like anything else, just use a little more sriracha.

  • Jerry September 10, 2018, 3:24 PM

    Sometimes it’s a bit more orangy…