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Mayor Peter B. Explains It All to You

I know you’ve been paying less attention to this attempt to be America’s first white gay president than I have. Fortunately, this climber has the Mayor Pete Platitude Generator to explain it all to you.

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  • Casey Klahn February 11, 2020, 11:32 AM

    Very funny. Needs more gay.

  • CC February 11, 2020, 12:20 PM

    All this cuz he just LOVES penis.

  • captflee February 11, 2020, 12:46 PM

    By the reckoning of some (I remain skeptical) he’d be the third, as we had two in a row a while back. NTTAWWT.

  • OD February 11, 2020, 12:53 PM

    another fast talking, polysyllabic purveyor of PC-Rhetorrhea

    Pauly al-Ryan, with fondness for the lowermost bowel

  • Nori February 11, 2020, 1:03 PM

    Backpfeifengesicht. A face that cries out for a fist.

    “I believe we are ready to do compelling things savagely.”
    Huh? Whoever wrote that needs his/her ass kicked. Repeatedly.

  • jwm February 11, 2020, 1:08 PM

    As the kids say: CREEPY A/F. The visible contact lenses just add to the crawliness. He gets the Jeffrey Dahmer award for “Candidate most likely to have tasted human flesh”.

    JWM

  • ghostsniper February 11, 2020, 2:47 PM

    Saw it on video recently for the first and hopefully last time.
    It is a hollow form, that is, absent of core.
    It is a product of a morally and intellectually bankrupt environment.
    And, it publicly admits to taking dicks in it’s ass.
    How disgusting and reprehensible can you get?
    This is the best they have and that should tell everybody something.
    Anyway, Trumps gonna mop the floor with whatever they drag out there.

  • Lance de Boyle February 11, 2020, 3:00 PM

    “……And after that, I’ll be gettin’ me some mighty fine ass.”

  • ghostsniper February 11, 2020, 3:00 PM

    One more thing. Watching Buttplug on video and it occurred to me that both it and obama were very poor speakers, no matter what the media claims. As we all know the media has been lying and bootlicking for ages. The problem with both those misfits is they’ve never had to speak on anything of importance in the private sector where words have responsible meaning. They get to say whatever they want and they cannot be held financially or criminally accountable. At the conference table I would those 2 children squirming immediately and within minutes they would be screaming and running for the door. I know this because I have designed custom homes and buildings for plenty of lawyers, professors, and politicians and when it is THEIR money on the line they turn white and shut the hell up, looking to me for guidance. I’ve done lot’s of hand holding in this business.

    Neither of those 2 horrifying creatures would make it past the level of a greasy spoon fry cook in the private sector and only in the vastly criminal gov’t environ do they have a voice at all. And to understand that millions of people are in support of these debased criminals should serve as evidence of the depth of the calamity that faces the future. ammo up!

  • captflee February 11, 2020, 4:39 PM

    I suppose that the Mayor Pete Platitude Generator is the only game in town now, what with the Tom Friedman Op-Ed Generator apparently having gone the way of all flesh.

  • John the River February 11, 2020, 4:57 PM

    My girlfriend was shocked when I explained to her tonight (after news that Biden fled NH for parts south) that the only reason that Biden was chosen as Barry’s VP was as insurance. He was a joke and a gaff machine, know to be corrupt and already had a unsavory rep for ‘inappropriate touching’ of young women.
    “Insurance?” she asked. “As in no one in their right (or Left) mind would want Joe Biden as the President of the United States”, I replied.

  • flyslow February 11, 2020, 5:08 PM

    now that was some fine authentic frontier jibberish . .

  • flyslow February 11, 2020, 5:09 PM

    bugger! forgot the link . .

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U

  • rabbit tobacco February 11, 2020, 6:26 PM

    Re: mayor pete
    smarmy: revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, or false earnestness

  • Nori February 11, 2020, 8:52 PM

    Ghost summed up Mayor Buttwhut very well.
    “Only in the vastly criminal gov’t environ do they have a voice at all.”
    “They get to say whatever they want and they cannot be held financially or criminally accountable.”

    Yet.

  • Jack February 12, 2020, 5:51 AM

    So, I suppose that if Pete the Peter Eater and his husband occupy the White House we should just get accustomed to the promise of an unending parade of faggotry and debauchery, including the institution of a weekly Cornhole Olympics in the Lincoln bedroom.

  • Kathryn of Wyoming February 12, 2020, 5:54 AM

    Words fail…although his certainly don’t and none of them sense. What a poser.

  • Millie Woods February 12, 2020, 8:08 AM

    ‘We’ll grow the economy from the heart out’.
    ‘The budget will balance itself’.
    ‘If you kill your enemy, they win’.

    Oops, that’s the gay guy running Canada. Buttigieg just uses more nouns and adjectives.

  • Ray February 12, 2020, 8:41 AM

    Mayor Pete is big for the space program. He said he wants to put a man on Uranus.

  • james wilson February 12, 2020, 11:10 AM

    I guess, from the comments, that these quotes are real. I had supposed they were generated by the Chinese to English algorithm we see in spam. And Ghost, no, I could see Mayor Pete as a host at Sizzler, but you can’t tell me he could cut it as a fry cook.

  • ghostsniper February 12, 2020, 11:18 AM

    Fry cook deputy 2nd assistant?

  • PA Cat February 12, 2020, 4:26 PM

    Listen up, dudes: Mayor Pete has some mighty fine (and mighty expensive) advice for y’all about skin care: Seems Bootygag sat down for an interview with Cosmo as part of the magazine’s series of videos on “Candidates Come to Cosmo” about their skin care tips. “When asked about his skin care routine, now a signature Cosmo question, Buttigieg revealed it’s not much more than soap and aftershave.” The interviewer then informed him that he should be using moisturizer: “‘You’re supposed to moisturize,’ she said. ‘You’re running a campaign for president. I’m running a campaign for getting men to moisturize.'”

    Wait, there’s more: Mayor Pete’s husband exposed his lie on Twitter. “Shortly after the interview was released, Buttigieg’s husband, Chasten Buttigieg, tweeted out a photo of Kiehl’s Facial Fuel moisturizer, alongside a sentence that simply read, ‘Peter. You moisturize.'”

    For the record, Kiehl’s Facial Fuel Energizing Moisture Treatment for Men costs $47.00 for a 4.2-oz tube. I hope Chasten splits the cost with Bootygag.

    The jokes just write themselves. Picture of the well-moisturized couple at the link:
    https://ehealthbeautytips.com/pete-buttigiegs-skin-care-routine-has-somehow-become-a-hot-button-issue/

  • ghostsniper February 13, 2020, 7:10 AM

    Ol’ Pete, hiked up on all fours on that heavily stained oval rug, giving reach-arounds with wanton abandon. “Where my presidential portrait iz???”

  • Snakepit Kansas February 15, 2020, 6:57 AM

    A bunch of double talk platitudes made up by a marketing firm trying to make him out to be a white(er) cock fag version of Obama.