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Just touch your face

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  • Casey Klahn March 12, 2020, 4:18 PM

    The song, “can’t touch this!” is rolling around in my empty skull. I appreciate her sense of irony very much.

    For my part, I trend towards even darker humor. Like the NBA player touching mics and then coming down with the Coronavirus. You cannot write irony this rich.

    Paging Mr Rudy Gobert. Your Darwin Award is ready for pick up. Mr Gobert…

    (I hope Karma has a sense of humor)

  • captflee March 12, 2020, 4:58 PM

    This lady makes a lot more sense than 95% of the blathering buffoons on the lobotomy box…

    Were it not for my bride’s weakened state, sardonic misanthropic shit that I am, I would be enjoying all this a lot more than I am. As it is, I am thankful indeed that you kind folks were so generous as to provide me quite a few weeks of schools on making do in a contaminated world. The WuFlu will burn itself out in good time, but it won’t be our last plague, so to the already planned spring rebuild of my deck I am adding a fully plumbed decon station.

    Got any plans for such, ghostrider?

  • ghostsniper March 12, 2020, 5:54 PM

    The list is long, Cap’n, as it is every year. And every year all of it does NOT get done. That’s what next year is for. I too have a deck that needs some attention, on 2 different levels. In about a month my new wood lathe from Grizzly will be delivered and all bets are off on whether anything else gets done as lathes have a tendency to addict all they come in contact with. We’ll see. I’ve had a smaller lathe since 2010 with it I have created 600+ pens unlike any ever seen anywhere and sold all of them. I have also created 300+ wooden bowls and have sold about 250 of them – the others have been in a variety of art galleries. I have also created several hundred other items on that small lathe and have sold most of them too. I likes doing some lathe work.

    Thinking about taking the bed off my 1991 Chevy S10 and replacing it with a home made aluminum camper. I’ve designed it in 3d in autocad and have most of the aluminum tubing on hand and I have access to a welder.

    But back to the decks. We have about 1000 sq ft of deck on the first floor and about 400′ on the 2nd floor and I need to strip all of it with the pressure washer down to bare wood, then paint all the railings and stain all the decking. There is also a 32′ bridge linking the house with my office in that mess too. I need spring to start last week.

  • Terry March 12, 2020, 8:09 PM

    Obama virus cure here:


    No evil goons. One million girls cannot be anything but fun, fun, fun.

  • Nori March 12, 2020, 8:45 PM

    Southern wit & wisdom;thank you ma’am,that was delightful.
    Casey’s right,someone notify MC Hammer.This lady’s rant would make a great remix of “Can’t Touch This”.

    It’s official,Arizonans are in panic hoard mode. Stopped at Wally World today for a couple gallons of spring water I use for coffee. Surprisingly,they still had it,but the toilet paper aisle was wiped out. (Sorry) Seriously,not one pkg left. Hand sanitizers disappeared 2 weeks ago,along with Clorox-type wipes.
    The ramen noodle section,normally crammed full,had 2 pkgs of chili flavor left. Disappointing. I had hoped to add to my stock of “oriental” flavor,which has recently been changed to “soy” flavor,presumably to stop offending oriental snow blossoms.
    Apparently the Coronavirus apocalypse will have Corona beer;that case was well-stocked.

  • Anonymous March 12, 2020, 9:16 PM

    Is that Mummy Pig or is it Daddy Pig?

  • H March 13, 2020, 4:18 AM

    Elvin Bishop! Yes sir!


    “Man, you should have seen,
    That little juke joint jump”

  • Jewel March 13, 2020, 5:52 AM


    As always, the Muslims have the most senselessable response to plague. Blame infidels in musical form. Try not to look away.

  • Annie Rose March 13, 2020, 7:01 AM

    I totally love this woman’s response! She speaks for many of us as we witness the unfolding insanity.