A trusted friend in DeLand, FL reported a Florida Woman sighting. He swears it is true. He went to swim in the local YMCA pool and a woman swimming there was wearing a mask. Glared at him like he was a threat.
AnonymousDecember 4, 2020, 3:02 PM
#Science!
Arnold JacksonDecember 4, 2020, 3:43 PM
I’ve seen people walking along sidewalks wearing masks even though they were the only ones walking within sight.
Lance de BoyleDecember 4, 2020, 5:20 PM
This just in from Tony “Tiny Tot” Grouchy.
It is an established medical fact (See Melvin Cohen and Sid Sackowitz, 2019. Your pants or mine? Norwegian Journal of Sardine Science) that afflatus carries virulent virus particles.
These eructations of poisonous miasma, passing through what is technically known in Pantology as the “pants seat,” or “beam housing,” which covers the orifice of the fundament, are a major risk factor to passersby and to toddlers who are standing around looking stupid, as toddlers so often do.
In other words, or woids, as I often say, mere pants seats offer little protection from infection from Covid-59,487.
In the case of Jerry Nadler, pants seats offer NO protection, as the seats of his off-the-rack cheap-ass suit pants have been worn thin to the point of translucence, by constant friction with his nether regions, or as is known in Proctological circles, his fat and apparently infinite ass.
Therefore, all persons are hereby ordered to wear 4 pounds of cotton batting stapled to their nether regions. A four-inch thick section shall be inserted between the buttock spheres (or, in the case of Hillary Clinton, the Domes of Doom), extending from the spincter ani, across the perineum (or “Avenue to joy”) to the base of what is known in Urology and Pornography as “the pills” (or, in the case of women, the “Gateway to the Fun Parts”).
Failure to comply will be met with a tantrum, in which I stamp my little feet, or by forced watching of Adam Schiff as he shaves his endless neckage.
“Get the all new Covid Depends, with its patented Flatus Protection System. Just insert our new and improved Massive Plug (equipped with standard charcoal filter) and wiggle around until it’s comfortably seated for extended wearage.
“You’ll say, ‘Boy, howdy! I never knew how much fun a good plugging could be.’
“Then simply wrap the Straps of Perpetual Penance around the waist, thus securing the cotton batting (our second line of defense) to the billowy parts. Yes, you’ll saunter with pride, or mince and prance as the spirit moves you, safe in the knowledge that your leaking buns will cause no harm.
PS. On another topic, I believe something like the Boston Massacre will be required to light the fuse. Perhaps during a rally where the rattled democrat speaker calls in the cops, who, scared themselves, shoot a few patriots.
Lord help us.
And now, yet another shot.
silver foxDecember 4, 2020, 6:25 PM
Read the following and you will know how we got to be this stupid. This material from Derrida is what the colleges have been peddling for two decades to our kids. Both assertive and mindless, our kids and many adults bought into the ethics of “unconditional hospitality.” I call it an attempt to make you give what you worked for away to whomever the government tells you to give it to. Enjoy:
“Inseparable from the thinking of justice itself, unconditional hospitality nevertheless remains impracticable as such. One cannot inscribe it in rules or in legislation. If one wants to translate it immediately into a politics, it always risks having perverse effects. But fully aware of those risks, we cannot and must not dispense with the reference to an unreserved hospitality. It is an absolute pole, without which the desire, the concept and experience, and the very thought of hospitality would not make any sense. Again, this ‘pole’ is not a ‘Kantian idea’, but the place from which immediate and concrete urgencies are dictated. Thus the political task remains to find the best ‘legislative’ transaction, the best ‘juridical’ conditions to ensure that, in any given situation, the ethics of hospitality is not violated in its principle – and that it is respected as much as possible. To that end, one has to change laws, habits, phantasms, a whole ‘culture’. That is what is needed at this moment. The violence of xenophobic or nationalistic reactions is also a symptom.” Derrida, Conversations
BarbaritaDecember 5, 2020, 4:21 AM
Given that the average reading level of students in American (also adults) is at the fifth grade level, I doubt that most readers of the Derrida Conversation could comprehend any of that sludge.
ghostsniperDecember 5, 2020, 4:40 AM
Can 100,000,000 idiots be converted into non-idiots in a fairly short amount of time?
That’s what it’s gonna take.
Notice I didn’t say converted into what.
The bulging bulk of parasitic human waste must be eviscerated.
The tumor is too large for the host, something’s going to snap.
Richard YoughnDecember 5, 2020, 8:31 AM
Passed a guy on a Road King yesterday. He was wearing a mask.
Sam L.December 5, 2020, 8:47 AM
My underwear is “CARBON FREE”!!!!11111!!!!! Well, until I burn them.
EX-Californian PeteDecember 5, 2020, 9:14 AM
I hope the car owner remembered to put a mask over the exhaust pipe, or all his efforts are in vain!
bilejonesDecember 6, 2020, 6:56 AM
Biff should note that France has had considerably more public protest against the Mask Mania that the US, Land of the Flea, home of the Plague.
After scanning its face again and again,
I began to scale it, picking my holds
With intense caution. About half-way
To the top, I was suddenly brought to
A dead stop, with arms outspread
Clinging close to the face of the rock
Unable to move hand or foot
Either up or down. My doom
Appeared fixed. I MUST fall.
There would be a moment of
Bewilderment, and then,
A lifeless rumble down the cliff
To the glacier below.
My mind seemed to fill with a
Stifling smoke. This terrible eclipse
Lasted only a moment, when life blazed
Forth again with preternatural clearness.
I seemed suddenly to become possessed
Of a new sense. My trembling muscles
Became firm again, every rift and flaw in
The rock was seen as through a microscope,
My limbs moved with a positiveness and precision
With which I seemed to have
Nothing at all to do.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
![That Was the Whopper Weekend That Was [Illustrated]](https://americandigest.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/welcometohell-150x150.jpg "That Was the Whopper Weekend That Was [Illustrated]")
![Allen Ginsberg: The Interview, <strong> ➡ 1972 ⬅ </strong> [Republished by unpopular demand]](https://americandigest.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/ginsbergnirvana-150x150.jpg "Allen Ginsberg: The Interview, <strong> ➡ 1972 ⬅ </strong> [Republished by unpopular demand]")
Comments on this entry are closed.
BMW
Entirely appropriate that it is a Peugeot.
A trusted friend in DeLand, FL reported a Florida Woman sighting. He swears it is true. He went to swim in the local YMCA pool and a woman swimming there was wearing a mask. Glared at him like he was a threat.
#Science!
I’ve seen people walking along sidewalks wearing masks even though they were the only ones walking within sight.
This just in from Tony “Tiny Tot” Grouchy.
It is an established medical fact (See Melvin Cohen and Sid Sackowitz, 2019. Your pants or mine? Norwegian Journal of Sardine Science) that afflatus carries virulent virus particles.
These eructations of poisonous miasma, passing through what is technically known in Pantology as the “pants seat,” or “beam housing,” which covers the orifice of the fundament, are a major risk factor to passersby and to toddlers who are standing around looking stupid, as toddlers so often do.
In other words, or woids, as I often say, mere pants seats offer little protection from infection from Covid-59,487.
In the case of Jerry Nadler, pants seats offer NO protection, as the seats of his off-the-rack cheap-ass suit pants have been worn thin to the point of translucence, by constant friction with his nether regions, or as is known in Proctological circles, his fat and apparently infinite ass.
Therefore, all persons are hereby ordered to wear 4 pounds of cotton batting stapled to their nether regions. A four-inch thick section shall be inserted between the buttock spheres (or, in the case of Hillary Clinton, the Domes of Doom), extending from the spincter ani, across the perineum (or “Avenue to joy”) to the base of what is known in Urology and Pornography as “the pills” (or, in the case of women, the “Gateway to the Fun Parts”).
Failure to comply will be met with a tantrum, in which I stamp my little feet, or by forced watching of Adam Schiff as he shaves his endless neckage.
“Get the all new Covid Depends, with its patented Flatus Protection System. Just insert our new and improved Massive Plug (equipped with standard charcoal filter) and wiggle around until it’s comfortably seated for extended wearage.
“You’ll say, ‘Boy, howdy! I never knew how much fun a good plugging could be.’
“Then simply wrap the Straps of Perpetual Penance around the waist, thus securing the cotton batting (our second line of defense) to the billowy parts. Yes, you’ll saunter with pride, or mince and prance as the spirit moves you, safe in the knowledge that your leaking buns will cause no harm.
PS. On another topic, I believe something like the Boston Massacre will be required to light the fuse. Perhaps during a rally where the rattled democrat speaker calls in the cops, who, scared themselves, shoot a few patriots.
Lord help us.
And now, yet another shot.
Read the following and you will know how we got to be this stupid. This material from Derrida is what the colleges have been peddling for two decades to our kids. Both assertive and mindless, our kids and many adults bought into the ethics of “unconditional hospitality.” I call it an attempt to make you give what you worked for away to whomever the government tells you to give it to. Enjoy:
“Inseparable from the thinking of justice itself, unconditional hospitality nevertheless remains impracticable as such. One cannot inscribe it in rules or in legislation. If one wants to translate it immediately into a politics, it always risks having perverse effects. But fully aware of those risks, we cannot and must not dispense with the reference to an unreserved hospitality. It is an absolute pole, without which the desire, the concept and experience, and the very thought of hospitality would not make any sense. Again, this ‘pole’ is not a ‘Kantian idea’, but the place from which immediate and concrete urgencies are dictated. Thus the political task remains to find the best ‘legislative’ transaction, the best ‘juridical’ conditions to ensure that, in any given situation, the ethics of hospitality is not violated in its principle – and that it is respected as much as possible. To that end, one has to change laws, habits, phantasms, a whole ‘culture’. That is what is needed at this moment. The violence of xenophobic or nationalistic reactions is also a symptom.” Derrida, Conversations
Given that the average reading level of students in American (also adults) is at the fifth grade level, I doubt that most readers of the Derrida Conversation could comprehend any of that sludge.
Can 100,000,000 idiots be converted into non-idiots in a fairly short amount of time?
That’s what it’s gonna take.
Notice I didn’t say converted into what.
The bulging bulk of parasitic human waste must be eviscerated.
The tumor is too large for the host, something’s going to snap.
Passed a guy on a Road King yesterday. He was wearing a mask.
My underwear is “CARBON FREE”!!!!11111!!!!! Well, until I burn them.
I hope the car owner remembered to put a mask over the exhaust pipe, or all his efforts are in vain!
Biff should note that France has had considerably more public protest against the Mask Mania that the US, Land of the Flea, home of the Plague.