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Ice Ice Baby

File Under: Cat, Putting In W/ Pigeons

Text of a Letter from the President to the Speaker of the House of Representatives and the President of the Senate

Under current law, locality Federal pay increases averaging 25.70 percent, costing $25 billion, would go into effect in January 2019, in addition to a 2.1 percent across-the-board increase for the base Federal General Schedule.

We must maintain efforts to put our Nation on a fiscally sustainable course, and Federal agency budgets cannot sustain such increases. Accordingly, I have determined that it is appropriate to exercise my authority to set alternative across-the-board and locality pay adjustments for 2019 pursuant to 5 U.S.C. 5303(b) and 5304a.

Specifically, I have determined that for 2019, both across-the-board pay increases and locality pay increases will be set at zero.



Anything less that the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull’s eye
The kid don’t play
If there was a problem
Yo, I’ll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Keep my composure when it’s time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem
Yo, I’ll solve it!
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • azlibertarian August 30, 2018, 1:49 PM

    God bless Mick Mulvany. I’ll bet my hat that he’s here somewhere.

  • ghostsniper August 30, 2018, 2:24 PM

    Adjustments to the “built-in” pay increase (or continued fleecing of the taxpayers) has to be submitted before 01 Sept prior to 01 Jan of the dated increase. By waiting until 30 Aug to do so Trump has tried to thwart the american communists from raising a stink. I believe they will still squeal. If they do he should start the firing process. See this for further reference: https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/5/5303

  • Casey Klahn August 30, 2018, 3:17 PM

    Fuckin’ A !

    Please, dear God, don’t let this be an Onion piece.

  • Fletcher Christian August 30, 2018, 4:26 PM

    Apparently not. The original is on whitehouse.gov.
    Would that Theresa May had the guts to do something like this in the UK.

  • Richard G. August 30, 2018, 4:52 PM

    Mike drop…

  • Snakepit Kansas August 31, 2018, 4:27 AM

    A fleecing is exactly what it is (props to Ghost). Hiring and spending freeze, then some firing. Any good manager should be able to cut 10% from his/her budget and still make it work. Nobody is going to convince me there isn’t some dead wood in the gubmint ranks. Some good folks are going to get stiffed, but the job market is great right now. Time to try the private sector.

  • arcs August 31, 2018, 7:03 AM

    RE: dead wood in the gubmint ranks

    There is no dead wood in the gubmint ranks on a Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend. They ALL come to life and start their long weekend just before lunch time.

  • ghostsniper August 31, 2018, 8:37 AM

    “…start their long weekend just before lunch time…”

    Welp, in NORMAL businesses it runs like this:
    Monday, the productivity is reduced just because, and recuperation from the weekend.
    Tuesday, production is getting up to normal.
    Wednesday, normal production day, though about only 50% of what it was 50 years ago.
    Thursday, production slows down in anticipation of Friday.
    Friday, not much gets done, just because, what does get done is the finalizing of what should have already been done.

    In all gov’t sectors you can reduce all of the above by at least 80%.
    Further, as far as I’m concerned, at least 98% of what the gov’t does doesn’t benefit anyone at all except the gov’t itself, and simultaneously it damages the hell out of the private sector – the only productive part of the society.

    So there ya go, your REAL lesson in Gov’t 101 for the day, which you won’t see in any gov’t indoctrination center commonly misconstrued as being a school.

    Since it’s friday and I’ll presume payday, you can mull that little nugget over while glaring at your increasingly bleak check stub that causes most of the above to occur.

    Start becoming self employed immediately and taking control of the only life you’ll ever own and never forget that you live in a massively criminal country and danger lurks every where. All eyes and ears all the time. Peace, onward.

  • Nori August 31, 2018, 10:35 AM

    Don’t most .gov workers spend the productive hours of the day surfing the web for porn?

  • prusmc August 31, 2018, 12:00 PM

    In exactly which area of the USSA has the living cost increased by 25 percent since the last locality pay in crease of 1 January 2018?
    I understand that locality pay is used to compute the three high year average for calculating the defined benefit Federal Retirement package?
    Makes great sense to work in a high cost area and retire to TX or FL.

  • Doug August 31, 2018, 3:59 PM

    Max Headroom hair.
    Rex Kwando pants.
    Al Yankovic moves.
    Obama mom jeans.

    So glad the 90s are over.

  • Former Lurker September 5, 2018, 12:20 PM

    Y’know, some of these comments just irritate the crap out of me. I’m probably going to say something here that I shouldn’t, and will regret, but so be it. I am a government worker, and as much as I don’t like it, my raise has been cancelled. I understand why it was done, and support the decision, but still don’t like not getting a raise. And why is that, you may ask? Simple. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I work for the IRS as a Senior Manager in IT. Now, I will readily admit that we have our share of slugs that we could live without, but I can tell you that overall, the people that work for me bust their butts all the time. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning, have some coffee and a smoke, then check my email to see how overnight processing went. Not that I really need to, because if something went wrong they would have called me in the middle of the night and I would have been involved in getting it fixed for as long as it takes. In some cases, I have spent from 9:00 pm on a Thursday night until 3:30 am on Monday getting a problem fixed. Why? So all of you taxpayers could get your refund checks as fast as we can get them to you. And when filing season ends? That workload doesn’t stop. We prepare for the next year changes, plan for redundancy, plan for faster and more efficient processing, plan for disaster recovery, and we try to nurse old servers and infrastructure through for one more year because everyone hates the IRS and no one gives us money to replace servers that are already 15 years old. Then we have the power down weekends. On Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Columbus day weekends, we actually take one of our computing centers completely down and turn the power off. And when I say off, you can’t use the bathrooms because the auto-detect flushing system is off so you can’t flush or wash your hands or anything. Off is off. And we get to work to bring everything down on Saturday, then on the holiday, we get to work to bring everything back up and have it all up and running by the next business day (Tuesday). Which never happens because the equipment suffers a ridiculous amount of failures because of old age and we end up having to work 28 hours straight to bring this crap back up. This Labor Day weekend, the power down was cancelled. It is the first Labor Day weekend I have had off in over 14 years. And as a manager, much of that time I end up working is “love” time because we don’t get overtime pay as managers. And then there are the times in the middle of the week when something just decides to quit working at 1:00 am, and I get the dreaded call that tells me I am going to be on the phone for a Service Restoration Team call until sometime the next day because nothing around here is ever an easy fix and go back to sleep. So, to all of you whining, please keep in mind that there are many of us in the government that bust our butts because it is the right thing to do. Where I work, we have worked hard to get your refund checks to you and cut down the ridiculous wait time from 2-3 months for you to get a paper check in the mail to one week for a direct deposit. We put in a lot of free time because that’s what we do. We deal with old, junk servers and infrastructure and a Congress that has no clue. They decide to sign the law that sets the changes we need to make for a new filing season on January 5th, and we’re supposed to write all new code, test it, and have it running perfectly and in production by January 15th or Congress and all the taxpayers complain. And when something goes wrong, it is never just a problem. Twenty people across the entire country can’t submit their electronic tax return on Friday night at 3:00 am? To us, that is a catastrophic failure because I guarantee that the Commissioner of the IRS is going to be on the phone ripping us a new one.

    I worked in IT in the private sector for 23 years before coming here, and in various other industries for 12 years before that. Honestly, I have never worked harder during any of that time than I do now for the American Taxpayer, who normally doesn’t give a crap about anything I do. As witnessed by some of the prior comments.

  • Nobody Atall September 7, 2018, 8:26 AM

    @Former Lurker … my sympathies to you, you sound like you would be an asset to any real-world company. However, your description is just another exhibit of evidence for why we need a flat tax, “postcard” reporting, boom done, release 95% of the IRS workers to more admirable work in the real world. Prayers for you and yours, and for the country I was raised to love, going up now.

  • Former Lurker September 8, 2018, 10:20 AM

    Nobody Atall: Thank you. I don’t disagree with you at all. Even though I’d be out of a job, I do support tax reform and the movement to a flat tax. I wish you well, my friend.