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Her: “Baby, it’s the meat-eating cat or my vegan ass!” Him: “Door. Ass. Bang.”

 My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat :   However, after a lot of talking and planning, my GF sat me down and dropped a bombshell on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens. She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles… [Reddit upvotes for this announcement, 27,000]

 My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat. UPDATE   So, we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat Mittens. Many users said that this situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control on my GFs part. I was blind to it I guess. [Reddit Upvotes for this decision, 75,000]

Mittens, the great pussy cat in question:

“Son, don’t ever trade some great pussy for drool-cup-crazy vegan pussy.”

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Gordon Scott July 29, 2020, 5:41 PM

    Mittens may shred your couch, but Mittens will never put fish tank cleaner in your iced tea.

  • gwbnyc July 29, 2020, 5:45 PM

    if you and your cat are alone in the house and you die, your cat will eat you.

    I like this in a pet.

  • ghostsniper July 29, 2020, 5:56 PM

    If you come home early from work you’ll never catch your cat sucking your best friends dik.

  • Kevin in PA July 29, 2020, 6:14 PM

    How do you know?

  • Vanderleun July 29, 2020, 6:17 PM

    And its a RIMSHOT FOR KEVIN!

  • Geoff C. The Saltine July 29, 2020, 7:55 PM

    He made the right choice. Mittens looks like a sweetie.

  • Firecapt July 29, 2020, 8:19 PM

    His next girlfriend problem will be with his new Korean girlfriend…

  • Carmen F July 29, 2020, 10:05 PM

    Good choice, Sir! The cat loves you; the girlfriend doesn’t.

  • DeNihilist July 29, 2020, 10:30 PM

    LOL! My cat literally just brought a smallish rat into the house. The little bugger (the rat) was playing dead. As soon as I got it away from her it bolted! Towel nearby suddenly flying through the air covering bolting rat. I pounce on the towel, trap the rat, pick it up within a fold, and whoosh! down the toilet the little bastard did travel!

    Think this dame would have been OK with that?

  • ghostsniper July 30, 2020, 4:14 AM

    From that article:
    “However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology.”

    That’s the most important thing of all, in ALL human relationships, and it has to be rooted out from the very beginning. It can be difficult to delve into this subject, and it’s easy to believe it’s better to ignore it or delay it to a better time, but you do so at your own peril. Eventually, as in this case, it will rear it’s head and demand the attention you have ignored or delayed. Such is the way in matters of importance.

    If I was him I would simply give the gf all the tether she needs to find her own way and let her come to terms with his principles, or not. Either way he maintains what he believes is right and she gets to choose either right or wrong, and he remains the good guy through all of it. NEVER let her get the upper hand because her version of the upper hand knows no limit as she has so plainly indicated. If he caves now his life will be miserable.

  • Mark Matis July 30, 2020, 4:38 AM

    Perchance was your ex-girlfriend tribe? After all, that IS how they roll!!!

  • Bill Jones July 30, 2020, 5:48 AM

    I personally never saw the attraction of dating insane chicks.
    Still, to each his own.

  • Fuel Filter July 30, 2020, 7:42 AM

    Firecapt, I actually laughed out loud when I read your post!!!! THAT was funny as hell!!

    As far as the dude at the center of this post, there’s a *VERY* old saying:

    “Never stick your dick in crazy.”

    He really should have known this from the git-go. Shit, she may as well have been wearing a neon sign around her neck. Vegan = Batshit.

  • Bram July 30, 2020, 8:11 AM

    I’m having trouble deciding which is more gay – a single guy owning a house cat (not a barn farm cat), or dating a vegan.

  • Monty James July 30, 2020, 8:27 AM

    All around our tired world, applause began; small and scattered at first, then more people began clapping, and it just grew and grew until one couldn’t think, and laughing madly I joined them.

  • Joan Of Argghh! July 30, 2020, 8:54 AM

    “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 2:2

    There’s a reason some use this verse for their wedding announcement.

  • iggy July 31, 2020, 8:17 AM

    Clearly, the vegan gf was not going to swallow.

  • Vanderleun July 31, 2020, 8:20 AM

    And Iggy slides in for the win!

  • PA Cat July 31, 2020, 2:08 PM

    Bram, you do know that Gerard is owned by a house cat (Miss Olive, his editor), don’t you? He is most assuredly neither gay nor vegan.