≡ Menu

Gearhead Special: 17 Minutes of Pure Relaxation + 10 Minutes of a Female’s Near Death Experience

I really can’t take much more of the “news of the day” this week so I’ll just take the rest of the week off with “How to Build a 3.8L Porsche Track Monster.” You can too if you choose to….

First time for my girlfriend in my E36 M3 Ringtool and also her first time on a track — especially on Nürburgring Nordschleife.***

JERRY:  You know there are two types of female orgasm: the real and the fake. And I’ll tell you right now, as a man, we don’t know. We do not know, because to a man sex is like a car accident and determining the female orgasm is like being asked ‘What did you see after the car went out of control?’. ‘I heard a lot of screeching sounds. I remember I was facing the wrong way at one point. And in the end my body was thrown clear.

*** The Nürburgring is a 150,000 person capacity motorsports complex located in the town of Nürburg, Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany. It features a Grand Prix race track built in 1984, and a much longer Nordschleife “North loop” track which was built in the 1920s around the village and medieval castle of Nürburg in the Eifel mountains. The north loop is 20.8 km (12.9 mi) long and has more than 300 metres (1,000 feet) of elevation change from its lowest to highest points. Jackie Stewart nicknamed the old track “The Green Hell”

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • greg March 5, 2021, 3:45 PM

    Nice roll bars on that there girl. Chromalloy.

  • J March 5, 2021, 4:44 PM

    She is lovely, and he is great re: the ‘ring. He does a fine job keeping his cool & knowing his limits on a very challenging course. Clearly, there were drivers that didn’t belong anywhere near him, but he safely made the proper moves as they presented themselves.
    And who doesn’t love a girl who will get in and go for a ride like this?! Pins her ears back with a scrunchie a lil before 4 min and adjusts to the level of competition before them.
    Great video, and well worth my cold dinner from having my eyes glued. Thanks, Gerard.

  • gwbnyc March 5, 2021, 5:08 PM

    I’d get a solid assessment of what her mother looks like before I’d make any longterm plans.

  • Kebie March 5, 2021, 5:11 PM

    My wife empathized with the lovely lady. Not saying I ever had the joy of a German no speed limit course, but there’s a rt 243 up to Idyllwild that is fun and curvy road with just enough passing lanes to make it worthwhile that we drove weekly for a couple years. Never did the reaction video though.

  • ghostsniper March 5, 2021, 5:26 PM

    If the US interstates were autobahns there would be 500,000 dead motorist each year. There are no left lane drivers on the autobahns, it’s the LAW. And it’s a very expensive violation. I drove a krankenwagen on the autobahns.

  • gwbnyc March 5, 2021, 5:32 PM


    tach is counterclocked 90°…

    and I like that.
    even more if it isn’t factory standard.

  • OneGuy March 5, 2021, 5:47 PM

    Many years ago I was on the Autobahn in my Mercedes driving 135 mph in the left lane. Nothing behind me. Then suddenly there was a Porsche behind me flashing his lights. I moved over and he disappeared in seconds.

  • Gordon Scott March 5, 2021, 6:11 PM

    OneGuy, it happened to me on the A1 between Peterborough and Huntingdon one day. I was doing 80, and I glanced in the mirror and saw something black coming. Then it was past me, and disappeared very quickly. It looked sort of Lamborghini-ish, but I really did not get a good look at it.

    The A1 is like a US highway, but not an interstate. And one didn’t have that much forward vision, because of turns and hills. Gutsy!

  • Zaphod March 5, 2021, 6:44 PM

    Female Fear Bone connected to the Female Bonk Bone despite the unforgivable unPCness of this Base Reality Nazi Fact. Don’t need to watch that to diagnose volcanic splooge-a-roony event in the passenger seat. Hopefully he had the sense to strike while the iron was hot.

  • me March 5, 2021, 8:37 PM

    This here Jerry fellow–sure must be one lousy lover.

  • OneGuy March 6, 2021, 7:29 AM

    In 1965 I had a 1965 BSA Road Rocket (yeah, yeah I know the HD riders hate them). At about 3900 RPM it had a vibration that you could feel from the seat. I had a girlfriend that loved motorcycles. (You already know where this is going, right!) Yeah I would purposely drive at 3900 RPM and she would have an orgasm. Try to time it so we were near my place or out in the country so I could try to give her a second one.

  • Jeff Brokaw March 6, 2021, 8:13 AM

    Her facial expressions are hilarious, especially when compared in real time to his expressionless, focused, in-the-moment face … A Tale of Two Faces.

    I love these random videos you uncover Gerard!

  • double XX March 6, 2021, 11:13 AM

    If she is still your G.F. DO NOT, let me repeat, DO NOT LET HER GET AWAY. I have been married to one like her for 55 plus years. Her kind are hard to find.

  • Harry March 6, 2021, 11:16 AM

    I was once a passenger in a Merecedes doing 120 on the Autobahn in the left lane. It was cool. My sphincter tightened a few times when cars would pull out in front of us to pass trucks that were only doing around 45.

  • Glenn Gallup March 6, 2021, 3:31 PM

    Nice. Been a long time since I carved a corner with a young lady in the right hand seat. Fun.

  • james wilson March 6, 2021, 4:28 PM

    That was fun. Saw her peeking at the speedo on a straightaway.
    I had an Alpha that would only do 115 but I took it 155 down Mt. Charleston in neutral. The girl was not impressed, but I was.

  • jwm March 6, 2021, 5:06 PM

    I’m not too proud to say it.
    I envy the heck out of that guy.


  • G706 March 8, 2021, 9:28 AM

    One Guy, I found out quite by accident that a Triumph Trophy has the same affect. As yes I still have her, the girl that is not the bike.

  • Boat Guy March 8, 2021, 3:10 PM

    Sorry to say the Germans outlawed the light-signal to move over some years ago. First it was illegal to give the little flash, so people would use their left-hand indicators but even that was outlawed as “too aggressive”. Yet another good thing ruined by the ubiquitous nanny-state