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Drive-By: I don’t write the headlines. I just report them.

Heated bull semen blows lids off containers, sends firefighters into ‘defensive mode’ during massive blaze

Heated bull semen launched dangerous projectiles in every direction during an early morning inferno that caused firefighters to take cover at an Australian cattle-breeding facility Tuesday.

“The liquid inside the cylinders was rapidly expanding and essentially the lids of the cryogenic cylinders were just popping off the top and projectiles were being thrown from the building,” fire chief Chris Loeschenkohl told ABC News down under.

All hell broke loose at a 2,700 square foot Yarram Herd Services facility in southeast Australia, where first responders reportedly took more than two hours to tame a raging fire that destroyed 100 cryogenic cylinders full of bull sperm. WIN News in Gippsland, Australia, reports that it’s unclear what caused the 3 a.m. blaze.

“Firefighters went into a defensive mode initially to protect themselves,” said Loeschenkohl of the 10 fire crews that came out to battle the flames and duck projectiles.

The sticky situation was new to Loeschenkohl, who said he’s never dealt with a fire fueled by bull semen. He also told ABC “a couple of other flammable liquid cylinders stored within the building” also launched debris into the air.

The semen cylinders themselves are reportedly worth up to $1,000 each. The value of their contents varies.

“It’s going to be a real blow for sure,” said Yarram Herd Services chairman Aaron Thomas, noting that area farmers rely on artificial insemination to keep their businesses moving.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Aggie September 19, 2019, 10:52 AM

    There is zero percent bull shit in that story.

  • Jack September 19, 2019, 11:49 AM

    It’s just too damned bad that Warren, Omar, AOC, Tlaib and that other dimwit weren’t there for cocktail hour.

  • BillH September 19, 2019, 2:00 PM

    I’ like to shake the hand of whoever collects that bull semen. On second thought, maybe just pat ’em on the back.

  • ghostsniper September 19, 2019, 2:29 PM

    I’ve designed some very elaborate horse stables that had Teasing Rooms, complete with a fake horse in the middle. Don’t ask.

    I’ll tell ya anyway.
    Male horses with the right genetics are worth a thousand bux an ounce or more, and the owners try to, ahem, milk them for all they’re worth. Low voltage electroshock stimulation is just one method however the quality of the product is not as high as if it is done the old fashioned way, even if the old fashioned way is with a fake horse. The fake horse is infinitely adjustable for height, angle, etc., and the underside is hollow allowing for various attachments and adjustments. This is done as long as the horse can deliver the goods. When you hear that a prize horse has been put out to pasture it means they are literally not worth a fuk.

  • Fletcher Christian September 19, 2019, 3:52 PM

    I suspect that the explosive properties weren’t so much with the actual product as the liquid-nitrogen containment system. I imagine that the result of exposing a container of LN2 to fire might be quite violent.

  • Joe Biden September 19, 2019, 6:01 PM

    I came like that once, blew the the doors right off of my Firebird Man,the gal was Ok just cleaned her up with a cloth, you know what I mean,those were the days I tell ya.

  • Vanderleun September 19, 2019, 7:55 PM

    Now Fletcher, let’s not spoil the others’ fun.

  • Auntie Analogue September 19, 2019, 8:02 PM

    Sperm bank fire? Oh my, what a contraception!

  • Kinch September 19, 2019, 8:58 PM

    Once knew a professional punter who ran a sideline business importing US greyhound semen into Australia. Took it very seriously. He just couldn’t see the funny side of peddling Dog Sprog.

  • Larry Geiger September 20, 2019, 7:10 AM


  • Nori September 20, 2019, 9:27 PM

    So what made the bull semen heat up so much?
    Mr Christian may be on to something here.

    The pic of the bovine creature is curious. The acknowledgement is (unknown/Getty Images/iStockphoto).
    What is this? A Cape Buffalo bull transgendering to a milk cow?

  • Zaklog the Great September 21, 2019, 7:42 PM

    Holy flaming bull spunk, Batman!