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California, the Cat Lady (Previously Soyboy) State

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you’re from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can’t remember . . . .is pot illegal?
14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones.
16. Or it’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19 The Terminator was your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.

BookWorm sends It’s funny because it’s true: You know you’re from California if….

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • ghostsniper April 5, 2018, 11:38 AM

    6b. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two soiboi’s that identify as mothers and several sperm donors.

  • DeAnn April 5, 2018, 6:27 PM

    Very funny.

  • John A. Fleming April 5, 2018, 9:26 PM

    It would be even funnier if there were some working dogs chained to a generator, or wearing aprons and cleaning out the litter boxes. And hey, where are the SilVal and SanFran proggro aristocats and … “different” cats from the Castro.

  • pbird April 7, 2018, 2:12 PM

    Terrible excuse for a cartoonist.

  • vanderleun April 7, 2018, 2:35 PM

    Daumier but without the skill.

  • RKV April 8, 2018, 5:22 PM

    21. You bike ride to the beach and back from your home.
    22. The local wine is great and reasonably priced – you may even have met the vintner.
    23. Your property taxes are limited by Prop 13.
    24. The rest of the country failed you by allowing you to be invaded by criminal foreigners contrary to Article 4 Section 4 of the Constitution – and forbade you to defend yourselves by the federal court reversing Prop 187 (which passed by 59% in 1994).
    25. It snows in the mountains, not in your major cities.
    26. And yeah Jerry Brown should be convicted of sedition. When are the feds going to arrest him and Becerra, Harris, et al?
    27. About 4.5 million Californians voted for Trump. That is more votes for him in the state of California than all individual states except Texas and Florida.

  • vanderleun April 8, 2018, 6:20 PM

    Excellent points. Very much so. Now I don’t feel so all alone…..