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Better Daze: Clips from My Seething Cranium Scrapbook

Pensando en la inmortalidad del cangrejo is Spanish for Thinking about the immortality of the crab . Something I spend a lot of time doing while weaving these daze. And while pondering the crab I don’t think I’ve become The Dude but I can certainly feel myself oozing towards the tell-tale moment when I find myself shopping in my pajamas. Lord knows many of my fellow citizens think this is acceptable attire to cover their tattoos. After all, I’ve shopped at the Ralph’s at night and lived just a few blocks from that creepy condo courtyard. And yes I have owned such a shabby bathrobe but in forest green.

On the other hand maybe I’m just another Man With The Blue Guitar.

The man bent over his guitar,
A shearsman of sorts. The day was green.

They said, ‘You have a blue guitar,
You do not play things as they are.’

The man replied, ‘Things as they are
Are changed upon the blue guitar.’

And they said then, ‘But play, you must,
A tune beyond us, yet ourselves,

A tune upon the blue guitar
Of things exactly as they are.’

I note that my emails have gotten very very terse in recent years. Here’s a terse reminder to make them terser as email and other means of person-to-person communication just rot down to the bottom of the barrel with “the text.” Instead, we have the naming of parts inThe best way to convey what is essential when writing an email.

Dear Person I am Writing To,
This is an optional sentence introducing who I am and work for, included if the addressee has never corresponded with me before. The second optional sentence reminds the person where we met, if relevant. This sentence states the purpose of the email.
This optional paragraph describes in more detail what’s needed. This sentence discusses relevant information like how soon an answer is needed, what kind of answer is needed, and any information that the other person might find useful. If there’s a lot of information, it’s a good idea to separate this paragraph into two or three paragraphs to avoid having a Wall of Text.
If a description paragraph was used, close with a restatement of the initial request, in case the addressee ignored the opening paragraph.
This sentence is just a platitude (usually thanking them for their time) because people think I am standoffish, unreasonably demanding, or cold if it’s not included.
Closing salutation, Signature

But I find I can always put off writing tedious emails with a long brown study of The long and fascinating history of the Can opener at La Wik

Okay, that’s done. Good morning and Welcome to Snitch Nation: From kids to parents, it’s a race to rat out your (former) loved ones before they get you first The contact-tracing course (which I took) offers more than the usual training in Orwellian ‘newspeak’, however. The chirpy-voiced instructor reminds the aspiring contact tracer that they are not under any circumstances to warn their friends or family if someone they know is infected, even it if means allowing their 80-year-old grandma to go risk her life playing bridge at the house of someone who just got out of the hospital being treated for Covid-19 and is still not well. One’s loyalty can be only to the state.

Cats! Why does it always have to be Cats? Mich. Man Wakes up to Intruder Holding Gun to Head, Demanding Cats

Why I go full Simon of the Desert here’s where I’ll be checking in.

Ah yes, that ecological paradise where we all drive electric cars and plug all of them into a grid that is wheezing on its knees now. EV rollout will require huge investments in strained U.S. power grids A model utility with two to three million customers would need to invest between $1,700 and $5,800 in grid upgrades per EV through 2030, according to Boston Consulting Group. Assuming 40 million EVs on the road, that investment could reach $200 billion.

Does having a long long Q-Tip rammed up your nostril piss you off? So does making them. And it ain’t easy.Supply of Swab Tests for Covid-19 Rests on Embattled U.S. Company Puritan – Bloomberg Flocked nasopharyngeal swabs were one of its most niche products, typically used only if a patient was sick enough with a respiratory virus to be hospitalized. The medical community prefers them because the tiny fibers on the tip easily absorb viral particles and quickly release them for testing. They’re more complex than they look. A swab has to be able to travel up the narrow shaft of the nose, through a passageway less than 4 millimeters wide, to an area roughly halfway between the ears. It has to be soft enough not to damage the nasal canal, yet sturdy enough to push through mucus and collect cells from the nasopharynx, where viruses grow.

In Memorium for my chair that was incinerated with everything else: (2) How It’s made – Midcentury Mini Lounge – YouTube

Better grab those rolls of aluminum foil before your fellow citizens strip the shelves like hungry asses thirsting for toilet paper. An interesting note: “there could be an additional 2% reduction in global aluminum production as capacity goes offline during China’s heating season.” In other words: When Northern China’s government-run central heating kicks on in the winter (and gobbles up something like 700 million tons of coal), other energy-intensive industries must shut down; aluminum production is one of them.


Great singer. Great dancer. Peace out.

Two out of these three have to trigger for me to say YES:
KNOWLEDGE: Will I learn something?
FUN: Is it fun?
MONEY: Is it financially worthwhile?

On the now well-known but once worshipped Freudian racket: Vladimir Nabokov was one malicious and mean motherfucker and he was not reluctant to share. On Sigmund Freud: Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind? I may have aired this before but I’d like to repeat that I detest not one but four doctors: Dr. Freud, Dr. Zhivago, Dr. Schweitzer, and Dr. Castro. Of course, the first takes the fig, as the fellows say in the dissecting-room. I’ve no intention to dream the drab middle-class dreams of an Austrian crank with a shabby umbrella. . . . The Freudian racket looks to me as much of a farce as the jumbo thingum of polished wood with a polished hole in the middle which doesn’t represent anything except the gaping face of the Philistine who is told it is a great sculpture produced by the greatest living caveman.

The rules of the ( ocean) road are simple and clear, why can’t we do the same with the rules on the (asphalt) road? The Maritime Law Edition – Why is this interesting?

Speaking of being “on the road,” BEHEMOTH was a truly wild and crazy computerized recumbent bike, built in the early 90s in (where else?) the Santa Cruz area. This vehicle is insane, and includes among other things a Macintosh 68k, a 9600-baud modem, a “credit card verifier for on-the-road sales,” a Canon BubbleJet printer, and “an active head-cooling system with a 7-liter tank and a peristaltic pump to circulate ice water through the helmet liner.”

Moving right along to that humongous cork in the Suez Canal:

Disaster is always foreseen and seldom avoided for being foreseen. Stranding of Ever Given in Suez canal was foreseen by many “Half the world’s ports can’t even deal with ships this size,” Hopcraft said, describing a trend that leaves the overall supply chain more exposed to a range of threats including piracy and cyberattack. “If those terminals that can [accommodate megaships], aren’t able to service them for whatever reason – local power cuts or military action – then these ships can’t be serviced at all.”

Oh yes the world is in the very best of hands...Meanwhile, COVID infections and quarantines have reduced the number of available longshoremen in the Los Angeles-Long Beach port complex to work ships and get containers on trucks, leading to massive port congestion. Ships are falling behind schedule as they wait more than five days for a berth. It can take another five days to get containers through the terminals to surrounding warehouses or onto trains, with drivers waiting up to two hours to enter the gate. There are currently 31 container vessels anchored offshore, with an estimated 310,000 TEUs worth of stranded goods, according to the Maritime Exchange of Southern California.

Folks want their narco so badly the suppliers are now building Narco-Submarines. They are both custom-made hulls built out of marine plywood and fiberglass. And they can both carry about 2 tons of narcotics (payloads vary, 1.6 tons is typical in the Americas but the average has been increasing). Translation: People are uping the dose of their illegal meds. Expect even more trouble.

Of course it is. The Air Force Is Having To Reverse Engineer Parts Of Its Own Stealth Bomber

Blue Mondays are going to get bluer longer:Meet YInMn, the First New Blue Pigment in Two Centuries Blue pigments, which date back 6,000 years, have been traditionally toxic and prone to fading. That’s no longer the case with YInMn, which reflects heat and absorbs UV radiation, making it cooler and more durable than pigments like cobalt blue. “The fact that this pigment was synthesized at such high temperatures signaled that this new compound was extremely stable, a property long sought in a blue pigment.”

Need to lose weight? Ask yourself one simple question to avoid actually losing weight.When we lose weight, where does it go? If you lose 10kg of fat, precisely 8.4kg comes out through your lungs and the remaining 1.6kg turns into water. In other words, nearly all the weight we lose is exhaled. This surprises just about everyone, but actually, almost everything we eat comes back out via the lungs. Every carbohydrate you digest and nearly all the fats are converted to carbon dioxide and water. The same goes for alcohol.

And finally, this is the personal trainer whose instructional video I study *at least* once a day in order to more deeply understand how to work out even when you don’t feel like it.

{ 15 comments… add one }
  • ghostsniper March 29, 2021, 1:05 PM

    One of my guitars is blue, but it’s not a Tele.
    It’s a Nomad.

    https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/jekwvGM8sq_klkWA6ZE9T0vv73j_5lI8gKizMiQA6Z9zfNOilWA0CFKfx3Xkkh8keG0MuX2aY9Bhatrf8t7CJ1rZd-TWW_6QphesGYH67n38ctvDdLJAoQ

    Yes, it has a Zoom processor built in.
    And it screemz.

  • Tom Hyland March 29, 2021, 3:53 PM

    Did ANYONE notice how tight her shorts are? I’m just checking in. I sure hope she’s okay.

  • Snakepit Kansas March 29, 2021, 5:19 PM

    Tom,
    If she runs up the stairs a couple times, she will need a crow bar to get them off.

  • Skorpion March 29, 2021, 5:49 PM

    Way back in 1967, a British pirate-radio DJ occupied one of the Maunsell Forts, and declared it the independent nation of Sealand, with himself as Prince. Sealand is still in operation, and makes money from selling “citizenships” and “noble titles” to its watery realm:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealand

  • nunnya bidnez, jr March 29, 2021, 6:18 PM

    Blue Guitar…
    https://townsquare.media/site/698/files/2018/08/Blue-Guitar-1.jpg

    Clapton’s

    he’s got two, the other one is called Va Bene

  • nunnya bidnez, jr March 29, 2021, 6:41 PM

    real time ship tracking, anywhere worldwide
    http://shipspotting.com/ais/index.php

  • JoeDaddy March 30, 2021, 2:46 AM

    The best Blue Guitar! https://youtu.be/cgJE-UY0a5o ala Moody Blues.

  • steve walsh March 30, 2021, 5:14 AM

    I would add this to the email advice: do not make the recipient scroll to read your entire message.

  • Annie Rose March 30, 2021, 6:46 AM

    There once was a place for education where certain young men wore the Armor of the Bathrobe on campus. They populated one part of an ancient tower along multiple floors where they devoted their time to the study of online games, LARPing, science fiction…and drinking.

    All on campus knew of this chivalrous odor—um order-by their dress, lack of grooming, awkward demeanor, and manly scent. Their leader wore a large velour forest green bath robe over shorts and t-shirt with flip flops, even in the dead of winter in Wisconsin. I saw him once as he shuffled across campus while I was there for a visit with my daughter. I nicknamed him Father Christmas, as it was close to that time and he reminded me of that character from the movie musical Scrooge.

    I was told that he wore this same outfit every day to class and on weekends. Their level of filth was such that their toilets were regularly overflowing due to blockage. Search no more for these future captains of industry. They are now no more than a legend, as Beloit College permanently disbanded the order of BIFSA a couple of years ago and took away their “house” for reasons that are best left unspoken, such is the horrific nature of their fall into disrepute.

    Suffice it to say that administration finally was made aware of an annual party where each floor of the tower ascended to a new level of Dante’s hell of debauchery. It is rumored that hidden above the ceiling tiles in the topmost rooms of the tower are a sword and a large glass jug, whose contents contain the remnants of past years’ leftover party liquor and “other liquids”, the purpose of which is only known to those who were members. Forsake and do not follow down the paths of the bathrobe for it leads only to ruin and the eventual consumption of “other liquids”.

  • Vanderleun March 30, 2021, 7:02 AM

    So far the Win is split between Snakepit Kansas and Annie Rose.

  • James ONeil March 30, 2021, 2:19 PM

    How tight her shorts are?

    I remember one trip, riding in a Shinkansen, bullet train, in Japan. Had two toilets at the end of the car, not men/women, instead western/Japanese squat toilet.

    Normal every day Japanese drop your drawers, squat down, do your business while assuring everything’s, wallet, shoes, etc., out of the way of the discharge toilet except; being in a train it was atop a tank two or 3 feet above the floor.

    Well, sitting beer in hand, I noticed a drop dead beautiful young Japanese girl walking up the aisle past me wearing jeans so tight looked like they were painted on, so tight I was sure I’d have seen each and every hair on her legs, if her legs weren’t beautiful young Japanese girl legs and, hence hairless.

    Of course, when she passed by, I turned my head, eyes following her, simply to assure she safely reached her destination, you understand.

    When I saw her reach the restrooms I returned my attention to my beer. I had noted, however, she’d entered the one with the Japanese squat toilet, atop a tank two or 3 feet above the floor. Painted Jeans, probably taking 15-20 minutes to don in the morn.

    I must admit I spent a bit more than a few minutes puzzling over the mechanics of how one, thus dressed, that one in particular, thus dressed, could possibly utilize a traditional Japanese etc., three feet above the floor.

    What were we just talking about?

    Oh yea, tight shorts.

  • James ONeil March 30, 2021, 2:25 PM

    “So far the Win is split between Snakepit Kansas and Annie Rose.”

    I suspect I’d be a contender at least, but mine got lost waiting review after I posted it or some such. -grin-

  • Vanderleun March 30, 2021, 2:46 PM

    You get the Legion D’Honneur Plaque for Best Suppressed Tight Pants story.

    Me if it had been me watching I would have said, “Hold my beer” in case she needed assistance.

  • Snakepit Kansas March 30, 2021, 7:11 PM

    James O’Niel for the win! Annie Rose a damn near tie, but second. Snakepit a distant third…

    Both of those reads went well with a decent glass of red wine!

  • Tom Hyland March 31, 2021, 7:00 PM

    I wanted only to play the straight man. The following results were all great.

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