Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms made us who we are
Red coats wanted our weapons and started the Revolutionary War
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms built the USA
Every few years a new batch of queers tries to take our rights away.
Nicotine, that Injun weed, put our men on the moon
Moonshine and bootleg wine gave us NASCAR vroom vroom VROOM!
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms – thank God all three are here.
O my golly, tryin’ to take them’s folly – let’s have a beer!
From the demented but insightful band THE MAMAS AND THE PEPES