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12 Steps to World Government

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1. We admitted we were powerless over overspending—that our $28 trillion national bar tab had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that increasing taxes two times greater than all those currently levied could restore us to solvency.

3. Made a decision in that Slough of Despond to turn our nation and our lives over to the care of Socialism as we understood it,  but this time done right.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of all the gold actually left in the vaults of the Fed and Fort Knox and found two nuggets worth $325.99.

5. Admitted to voters, to the Federal Reserve, and to all eternal Government bureaucracies the exact nature of our bankruptcy and appeared in a barrel on The View for sexual reassignment surgery live on the air.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Fed print infinite money on whatever paper they could get at a case discount down at Staples.

7. Humbly asked the voters to give us all their money, their IRAs, title to their vacation homes, and rights to all organs not previously in hock to China.

8. Made a list of all persons that still had something squirreled away, and became willing to send in the National Guard to dig up their backyards and basements.

9. Made direct promises to replace any precious metals or gems found in private hands with paper money, ten cents on the dollar, to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would require a cash award of more than $49.98.

10. Continued to search for hidden assets and when we found them promptly seized them.

11. Sought through Universal Health Care and reducing the military to improve our nation until it resembled Great Britain in real power and influence, and confiscated all guns and ammunition we could lay our hands on to keep pesky disagreements with the National Guard on a name-calling basis, praying only for a disarmed, dispirited, depressed and Universally Medicated citizenry and for the power to rule over them.

12. Having had a rebirth of the Soviet Union under Stalin as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to any remaining free societies and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • ghostsniper March 25, 2021, 5:16 PM

    Never forget, EVERYTHING they say is a lie.

    In light of the over $2000trillion dollar debt, I keep wondering why it hasn’t collapsed yet.

    Imagine what it would be like to wake up tomorrow in the 17th century, and try to figure out what you would need to survive and flourish.

    1 year after the unavoidable collapse half the civilized world population will be rotting in the dirt.

  • nunnya bidnez, jr March 25, 2021, 5:41 PM

    “..appeared in a barrel on The View for sexual reassignment surgery..”

    I’m gonna keep harping on this one question I still have
    regarding Richard/Rachel Levine (since he/she was confirmed today as Assistant Secretary of Health):

    Has he really actually had the sexual reassignment surgery??
    Or is he just playing dress up in mommy’s 1950s-era clothes?
    If he hasn’t, then he’s really not the expert he claims to be about gender roles.

  • nunnya bidnez, jr March 25, 2021, 5:45 PM

    “..appeared in a barrel on The View for sexual reassignment surgery..”

    I’m gonna keep harping on this one question I still have
    regarding Richard/Rachel Levine (since he/she was confirmed today as Assistant Secretary of Health):

    Has he really actually had the sexual reassignment surgery??
    Or is he just playing dress up in mommy’s 1950s-era clothes?
    If he hasn’t, then he’s really not the expert he claims to be about gender roles.

  • gwbnyc March 25, 2021, 8:16 PM

    ^^^^^^^

    you mean there AREN’T thousands of shovel-ready jobs??!!!

    they’re already preparing their lists…

  • Tellurian March 25, 2021, 11:32 PM

    “So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.” (Prov 6:11) Bankruptcy is slow in coming…until suddenly it gets here.

  • Snakepit Kansas March 26, 2021, 4:33 AM

    There still remain a bunch of frogs that refuse to be slowly boiled. At some point the bullets start flying.

  • Casey Klahn March 26, 2021, 7:39 AM

    Like a double diamond ski run of despair. Nice.

  • James ONeil March 26, 2021, 8:58 AM

    A fine spring day, yesterday, up here atop the world. I was out plowing snow.

    It’s snowing pretty hard right now, right here. Looks like I’ll be plowing again tomorrow.
    Maybe next week, after I fix my drives and trails, I’ll give some thought to fixing the world.

  • Joe Krill March 26, 2021, 9:21 AM

    Gerard, It is my opinion that this is one of your finest posts to date. A thousand points of light with just one candle. Thank you.

  • Faculty Lounge Choom Bong March 26, 2021, 12:15 PM

    Forward, comrade. It’s (Global Soviet) gonna work this time as Human Nature is a construct of the white male capitalist pig patriarchy.
    Yes we can, Si se puede!