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Well, here goes – it’s book launch time for Gerard’s book of essays! The title is The Name In the Stone.

Please go to the book website VanderleunBooks, take a look around, and order a book or books. It’s published in a very handsome-looking paperback edition, if I do say so myself, and there are just a couple of hardcovers available as well [NOTE: The hardcovers, which were a very limited edition, are already sold out, but I’m going to order another print run of hardcovers, and so you can order them now although there will be an estimated delay of about ten days in mailing the hardcovers out to customers]. Here’s a link to the description of the book.

You can communicate with me about the book either at my usual email address of jaybean33@yahoo.com or at the booksite’s email address, which is info@vanderleunbooks.com . I plan to add a page of reader testimonials at the website, and you can send a review that way if you’d like.

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On Living with the Loss of a Son in Wartime. Written and first published on Memorial Day, 2003

My name, “Gerard Van der Leun,” is an unusual one. So unusual, I’ve never met anyone else with the same name. I know about one other man with my name, but we’ve never met. I’ve seen his name in an unusual place. This is the story of how that happened.

It was an August Sunday in New York City in 1975. I’d decided to bicycle from my apartment on East 86th and York to Battery Park at the southern tip of the island. I had nothing else to do and, since I hadn’t been to the park since moving to the city in 1974, it seemed like a destination that would be interesting. Just how interesting, I had no way of knowing when I left.

August Sundays in New York can be the best times for the city. The psychotherapists are all on vacation — as are their clients and most of the other professional classes. The city seems almost deserted, the traffic light and, as you move down into Wall Street and the surrounding areas, it becomes virtually non-existent. On a bicycle, you own the streets that form the bottom of the narrow canyons of buildings where, even at mid-day, it is still cool with shade. Then you emerge from the streets into the bright open space at Battery Park.

Tourists are lining up for Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. A few people are coming and going from the Staten Island Ferry terminal. There are some scattered clots of people on the lawns of Battery Park. Everything is lazy and unhurried.

I’d coasted most of the way down to the Battery that day since, even though it appears to be flat, there is a very slight north-to-south slope in Manhattan. I arrived only a bit hungry and thirsty and got one of the dubious Sabaretts hot dogs and a chilled coke from the only vendor working the park.

We were in the midst of what now can be seen as “The Long Peace.”

The twin towers loomed over everything, thought of, if they were thought of at all, as an irritation in that they blocked off so much of the sky. It was 1975 and, Vietnam notwithstanding, America was just about at the midway point between two world wars. Of course, we didn’t know that at the time. The only war we knew of was the Second World War and the background hum of the Cold War. It was a summer Sunday and we were in the midst of what now can be seen as “The Long Peace.” . . . .

Continued now at The Name in the Stone

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When my body won’t hold me anymore
And it finally lets me free
Will I be ready?
When my feet won’t walk another mile
And my lips give their last kiss goodbye
Will my hands be steady when I lay down my fears, my hopes, and my doubts?
The rings on my fingers, and the keys to my house
With no hard feelings

When the sun hangs low in the west
And the light in my chest won’t be kept held at bay any longer
When the jealousy fades away
And it’s ash and dust for cash and lust
And it’s just hallelujah
And love in thought, love in the words
Love in the songs they sing in the church
And no hard feelings

Lord knows, they haven’t done much good for anyone
Kept me afraid and cold
With so much to have and hold

When my body won’t hold me anymore
And it finally lets me free
Where will I go?
Will the trade winds take me south through Georgia grain?
Or tropical rain?
Or snow from the heavens?
Will I join with the ocean blue?
Or run into a savior true?
And shake hands laughing
And walk through the night, straight to the light
Holding the love I’ve known in my life
And no hard feelings

Lord knows they haven’t done much good for anyone
Kept me afraid and cold
With so much to have and hold
Under the curving sky
I’m finally learning why
It matters for me and you
To say it and mean it too
For life and its loveliness
And all of its ugliness
Good as it’s been to me

I have no enemies
I have no enemies
I have no enemies
I have no enemies

[THIS SITE — AND ITS ARCHIVES — WILL BE MAINTAINED FOR TWO YEARS FROM THIS DATE. AFTER THAT “DIGITAL DUST TO DIGITAL DUST.”

BTW: I’VE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU, JUSTINE, MY DAUGHTER. No hard feelings. Remember me, from time to time, to my granddaughters.]

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Gerard left me instructions that he only wanted this blog to stay up for two years after his death.

Originally I was just going to let it remain as it had been and only post the occasional announcement during those two years. But pretty quickly it seemed to me that there were many people who wanted to stick around awhile and talk, and that’s why I’ve been putting up open threads three times a week.

But now we’re getting close to the two-year mark, which will come at the end of January 2025. This blog was designed by Gerard and it was his project and creation, and it also costs money to maintain because it’s a hosted blog. So I’m planning to abide by his wishes at the end of January.

However, it occurs to me that if you want to start a new site and keep meeting, it’s easy to do it for free at Blogger. For example, when I first began blogging (twenty years ago!) I had a free blog at Blogger and I stayed there for several years until the blog grew. A Blogger website might really suit your purposes, and all you need is at least one person to set it up and monitor it. People could post there and comment there, and if you copied down some of Gerard’s old posts you could even put them there as well, before this blog goes dark.

It would be up to you; I wouldn’t be part of it. Or, you might have other ideas. But that’s my suggestion.

I don’t know whether you want to do that, but I thought I’d mention it in case it strikes a chord. Click here and you’ll see instructions on how to do it. As far as I know, it’s completely free.

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Open thread 12/6/2024

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Open thread 12/4/2024

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Open thread 12/2/2024

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Open thread 11/29/2024

Turkey sandwich day:

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Open thread 11/27/2024

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Open thread 11/25/2024

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Open thread 11/22/2024

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Open thread 11/20/2024

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Open thread 11/18/2024

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Open thread 11/15/2024

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Open thread 11/13/2024

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Open thread 11/11/2024

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Open thread 11/8/2024

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Open thread 11/6/2024

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Open thread 11/4/2024

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Open thread 11/1/2024

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