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The Simple Reason Why They Hate Columbus Day

“He brought civilization to a new world. That is why they hate him.” — Don Surber

Christopher Columbus – As I saw that they were very friendly to us, and perceived that they could be much more easily converted to our holy faith by gentle means than by force, I presented them with some red caps, and strings of beads to wear upon the neck, and many other trifles of small value, wherewith they were much delighted, and became wonderfully attached to us.

Afterwards they came swimming to the boats, bringing parrots, balls of cotton thread, javelins, and many other things which they exchanged for articles we gave them, such as glass beads, and hawk’s bells; which trade was carried on with the utmost good will. But they seemed on the whole to me, to be a very poor people. They all go completely naked, even the women, though I saw but one girl. All whom I saw were young, not above thirty years of age, well made, with fine shapes and faces; their hair short, and coarse like that of a horse’s tail, combed toward the forehead, except a small portion which they suffer to hang down behind, and never cut.

Some paint themselves with black, which makes them appear like those of the Canaries, neither black nor white; others with white, others with red, and others with such colors as they can find. Some paint the face, and some the whole body; others only the eyes, and others the nose.

Weapons they have none, nor are acquainted with them, for I showed them swords which they grasped by the blades, and cut themselves through ignorance. They have no iron, their javelins being without it, and nothing more than sticks, though some have fish-bones or other things at the ends.

They are all of a good size and stature, and handsomely formed. I saw some with scars of wounds upon their bodies, and demanded by signs the of them; they answered me in the same way, that there came people from the other islands in the neighborhood who endeavored to make prisoners of them, and they defended themselves. I thought then, and still believe, that these were from the continent.

It appears to me, that the people are ingenious, and would be good servants and I am of opinion that they would very readily become Christians, as they appear to have no religion. They very quickly learn such words as are spoken to them. If it please our Lord, I intend at my return to carry home six of them to your Highnesses, that they may learn our language. I saw no beasts in the island, nor any sort of animals except parrots.

Alert the Authorities!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • ghostsniper October 8, 2018, 11:49 AM

    “…would be good servants…”

    A little bit of truth sneaking in.
    What about all that required raping and pillaging that is SOP when conquering new lands?
    You know, like the vikings and others were doing during the same time.
    Columbus’s tribe wasn’t like that?

  • Dr. Jay October 8, 2018, 12:15 PM

    The fact that Columbus’ industrial-strength STDs could reach the good ole’ USA without Christopher ever setting foot in North America deserves a yearly observance! “Salute!” (Apologies for the Hee Haw reference.)

  • jwm October 8, 2018, 5:27 PM

    You know what Columbus found in the Carrib?
    Carribals. (roll your “R” spanish style.)
    Pretty grisly…

    JWM

  • Casey Klahn October 8, 2018, 7:06 PM

    The nobility of the natives Columbus found is that given by God. His remarks seem consistent with that. To critique the new peoples seems prudent; what are we, retarded? Of course you want to take the measure of every people, and add some charity along the way.

    Subvert Columbus Day? That’s a crock of shit. Keep it. Keep everything.

    We seem to live in a day of no common sense.

  • RebeccaH October 9, 2018, 8:46 AM

    Christopher Columbus was a 15th century man who could only judge the world by the standards of the 15th century. He saw that the natives were “a poor people” by his standards, and honestly thought he and his fellow Europeans could improve their lives. Since no one at that time really understood disease (thinking it a matter of “humours of the body” and “miasmas”), no one could have possibly known they were bringing diseases that would devastate populations that had no immunity to them. I don’t know why the supposedly enlightened people of this century find that so hard to understand.

  • BillH October 9, 2018, 9:11 AM

    Uh Rebecca, go spend an hour in the teachers’ lounge of a public school, or the student union of any large university and you’ll soon know why. If you can’t do that, take a look at the courses offered and graduation requirements in any large university catalog.

  • pfsm October 9, 2018, 9:35 AM

    “I don’t know why the supposedly enlightened people of this century find that so hard to understand.”
    It’s more like they don’t give a fuck. It’s just something they can scream at us.

  • ghostsniper October 9, 2018, 7:46 PM

    “We seem to live in a day of no common sense.”
    ===============
    Yes, there are large pockets of retardation out there.
    On 12 Oct 1964 my best friend John Morris fell out of a tree and broke his right arm.
    It was Columbus Day then and it still is, except in Retardia, where I don’t live and only visit on occasion when there is no other choice.

    Was reading something the other day that said there are 6 nation “such and such days” every single day of the year. Will this ghetto class carnival ride ever end?

  • Casey Klahn October 10, 2018, 7:30 AM

    Ghost, they need a day for us. Curmudgeonly old farts without ethnic grievances. COFWEGs. I propose Dec 31st, when the least damage will occur.